by Dianne
FAMOUS INVENTIONS
The toilet seat was
invented in Minnesota , but twenty years later a North Dakotan invented the hole
in it.
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OUTHOUSE
PROBLEMS
When Ole
accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch
and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere yust for 50
cents.'
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POLICE
LINE-UP!
A Norwegian
appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim
entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'
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VE COULDN'T AFFORD
MORE
Two Norwegians from
Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. 'The way I
figger it, dat fish cost us $400' said the first Norwegian.
'Vell,' said the
other one, 'At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any
more.'
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THE
RELATIONS
Ole and Lena were
getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting
on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee.
' Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex relations?' He asked.
'Vell, Ole, I yust
don't know,' replied Lena . 'I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last
Christmas.'
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MUSIC
SOLUTION
Ole bought Lena a
piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with
it.
'Oh,' said Ole, 'I
persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?' asked
Lars.
'Vell,' Ole
answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
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THE PRANK
CALL
The phone rings in
the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how
da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here' he says and hangs
up.
'Who vas dat?' asks
Lena .
'I donno, some fool
wanting to know if da coast vas clear.
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HONEYMOON
On their honeymoon
trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee.
Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant
to.'
So Ole drove to
Dulute.
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PARTY
TIME
Ole was arrested
one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of
Alexandria , Minnesota . The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's said,
'Ole, What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You're
naked.'
'Yah, I know,' said
Ole. 'You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party.
Dere vas about ten of us. Der vas boys and girls.'
'Is that right?',
his policeman friend asked.
'Yah, Yah, anyvay,
dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom! 'So vee all go into
the bedroom....where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' 'Vel, vee all
got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'
'Yah, vel, I guess
I'm the first vun here!"
