~Alex~

by Tina~in_ut

Sarah McLachlan singing In The Arm Of The Angel with Josh Groban

Alex’s childhood was troubled from the beginning. His parents divorced when he was very young. When he was in 7th grade, his dad committed suicide. By the time he finished high school, both of his male role models, his grandfather and beloved uncle, had also passed. He and his younger brother were raised by a single mother who did her best.

In grade school, Alex was always in some sort of trouble and his grades were less than stellar. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do the school work. He was just lazy. There was something about him though that drew me to him. Maybe it was his smile or that twinkle in his eye. His Principal did everything in his power to keep him in the school, no matter what he did. He too saw something special in him. The Lady who supervised the lunch room, fondly(?) known as the Lunch Nazi, was always stern with him, but he sure could melt her heart. Okay…..so the Lunch Nazi was me~

I remember one day in particular, he was in so much trouble it was possible that he could be suspended or expelled. I found myself passing him in the hallway in between classes. I got in his way so he couldn’t pass. He was very polite and just stood there waiting for me to move. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that he was a smart boy and I knew he was a good boy and that one day he would grow up to be a good man. All he needed to do was behave now and get good grades. I had faith in him. He smiled that smile of his and went on his way.

Alex made it to 8th grade graduation. Other than my own child, his is the only other 8th grade graduation I have ever attended. I was very proud of him and excited for his future. He went on to High School, but was kicked out after his sophomore year and ended up in a public high school. I remember feeling sick to my stomach when I heard what had happened. All I could do was pray for him.

He managed to graduate in 2006 and even went on to a local University. He got a job at Market Street Grill, one of my favorite restaurants. He had a girlfriend and many, many friends. He moved out of his mom’s house to share a house with a friend. Life was good. He had plans. He was getting good grades, applying himself at school, and even thought about getting his Masters degree later on down the road. December 27th would be his 21st birthday and he was going to Mesquite with his mother and grandmother to celebrate.

Last Monday was a gorgeous day. The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, and it was in the 50’s. It was a perfect day for Alex to ride his motorcycle to school. Like he always did, Alex put on his full face helmet, long pants, jacket, and gloves. He was riding toward school when a woman in a van made a left hand turn in front of him. She didn’t see him coming and Alex didn’t even have time to hit his brakes. He ran right into her and was killed instantly. Bright, beautiful, smiling Alex was gone.

I had heard about the accident, but I didn’t know it was Alex who died. I came home from work, ate dinner, and was putting the kids’ school pictures in frames when my daughter came up to me and said, “Mom, guess what? Alex died in a car accident!” I am hard of hearing, so I just knew I didn’t hear her right. I asked her to say what she said again. She did. I heard right. It was like a kick in the stomach. I looked at my husband for confirmation. He was nodding his head. He had forgotten to tell me. I couldn’t believe it. I went downstairs to search on the computer for confirmation. There wasn’t any yet. So I sent an email to my friend to tell her about it and cried while I did. This whole week, I think I cried every time I told someone new.

Today was his funeral. My husband and I went together. The church was packed. One of my favorite priests said the mass. His homily was beautiful and comforting. I think half of the people there weren’t even Catholic, but everyone could understand the message that Fr. John was trying to convey: “Look around you at the number of people that Alex touched in some way in such a short time.” He truly was loved by many. After the service, I went to help in the Hall. There were several people there helping to set up for the luncheon after the burial. Everyone pretty much had the same story to tell about Alex. It was always about his beautiful smile and that twinkle in his eye. Like Fr. Tom said, our lives have been changed forever, but Alex’s is just beginning, and we can find comfort in that.

December 27, 1987 ~ December 1, 2008