Dr. Nanny is in!

by Lois Lane

Due to a comment about a planters wart making Carol's shoes not work, I thought it would be fun to talk about home remedies. I've already mentioned in the comments at some point that my grandmother in-law, Nanny, was a wise old bird. She lived for sharing and trying home remedies.

She was the kind of lady who washed her windows with newspaper rather than paper towels. She said it prevented streaking. Although her windows looked fabulous, I still had a hard time not tearing my clothes off and running around all willy nilly. Perhaps they prevented other types of streaking.

Acne doesn't need any fancy crap like proactiv, according to Nanny. Just mix some baking soda and peroxide into a paste, slather it on your face and wait until it feels like your face is going to fall off. Then rinse add a light face moisturizer and poof. Also works on backne.

She used to polish her decorative candles with old pantyhose. It took the dust off and shined them right up. And once when her old man, Papa, spilled candle wax on the tablecloth her mother gave her 50 years earlier, which had been given to her some 40 year before that, she took a brown paper bag, laid it over the wax, and ironed the paper. It came up, saving the heirloom.

It went on and on!

Eye infection = potato
Boil = potato
Sore throat = warm salt water
Yellow teeth = baking soda as paste and peroxide as rinse
Head lice = tea tree oil
Foot odor = clothes dryer sheets in shoes
Planters wart = nail polish (five days in socks - can wash not too much, if paint comes off, reapply, peel after five days, watch the "cork" stick to the polish without pain)

Oh she was something!

My son, Lane 1 was a couple years old when she finally met him. We lived in Illinois, she in California. Upon our return, Lane 1 was scheduled to get tubes put into his ears, due to repeat infection. Nanny acted as if Mr. Lane and I were insane, "Putting that damn baby under the knife for no good reason."

Somehow, this bulldog of a woman, convinced me if I put Vick's Vapor Rub in his ear on a cotton ball at first sign of discomfort, it would drain out the fluid before it could cause an infection.

I called my sister in-law, Claudia. She is straight off the German boat and married to my brother. She knows all about this type of stuff. I really wanted her to talk me back into the surgery, instead, for the first time in ten years, she and I had a language barrier.

Oh dear!

"Why would you put that nasty in your baby's ear? That woman is crazy! There's laws about that!!"

At first, I didn't understand why she was so incredibly upset, or how that could go against any law.

"What are you supposed to do? Tell your husband to jerk off at the kid's ear canal?"

Apparently, "vicks" in German is "cum/jizz/semen/bubblin' man goo."

Whoa! I knew right away something was amiss. After explaining what Vick's is in English, we laughed our heads off. Then she calmly said, "Try it!"

So, I did. And to my surprise, and his doctor's, it worked.

Have you heard of or tried any of Nanny's treatments? Share your home remedies.