Out to Lunch…Literally

By Lois Lane AKA Nonewz

One cold fall afternoon, a few little owls flew from the nest. They gathered in a small town in Illinois to share lunch and laughter.

Jennifer Squared, (also known as, Iteach Jennifer and The Other Jennifer) Jodi and Lois accompanied by their 15-year-old daughters Lane 2 and Samtastic, sat at a table in the center of an Italian restaurant.

It was my first meeting of them, although the Jennifer's are practically my neighbors. It’s funny how the internet can bring people together. When you’re an adult, it’s hard to make new friends. Sure you have your work people, neighbors, kids’ friends’ parents who become your friends basically by default, and people you run into around town, but when is the last time you made a real new friend outside of the internet? I can’t even remember.

Iteach was the last to arrive. Lane 2, pointing randomly, excitedly said, “Oh there she is!” The Other Jennifer and Jodi turned to look, until I said, “Yeah, only you don’t even know what Miss Jennifer looks like!” Who knows where she gets her little prankster ways?

The Other Jennifer, not to be confused with The Other Sister (who was equally lovable but not nearly as bright) gave me a tiny scare right off the bat. The waitress approached our table to take our drink order. When she uttered the words, “I’ll have a Chianti.” I looked at my new friend and said, “If you order fava beans as your main course, I’m outta here!” With a slithery sound of their tongues, mother and daughter, Jodi and Sam gave the infamous Silence of the Lambs sound effect. Perfect comedic timing!

We talked about our jobs, kids, The Nest, The Hooters, schools, the towns we live in, books and old guys who look like Santa. We learned that Sam and Lane 2 are in love with Asians, a fact neither could explain. Lane 2 dresses like a senior citizen with her crocheted cap and flashy scarf. There was actually a cute little Asian lady at a table next to us dressed an awful lot like my kid.

Sam the vegan, likes mustard and pickle sandwiches, and much to Lane 2’s shock, “can’t even eat cheeseburgers.” Apparently mustard and pickles provide enough energy to run a locomotive… that child never stops talking, and I kind of loved that about her. Plus she laughed at some of my corny jokes, not the one where I pretended to grab her mom’s boobs, however.

My daughter was certain she was heading out to be, “murdered by Mom’s crazy internet friends” it was even what she set as her status update on Facebook on our way out the door to meet them. So, from Lane 2, “Thanks for not murdering us!”

Jodi came bearing gifts. For the Lanes, a lovely Raspberry Tart Wisconsin-brewed ale, which may or may not have gotten someone laid. *cheeky grin*

Ladies, it was a pleasure to meet all of you. I’m looking forward to Chicago 2010!