The New Alphabet

by Dianne

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now
The Alphabet:


A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,

Perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H  High blood pressure--I'd rather it low
I  for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill, I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tintinitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy', you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!