Smile :O)

Many years ago as a teen, music was my world. I adored my teen music, and each group that surfaced, was just another one to adore. The Jackson Five was of course one of them. Michael Jackson in particular had my attention. His voice, his songs, his moves, I was in awe. He was part of my growing up, and each new song, with each new year was my favorite. I danced to all his songs, and new the words to most of them. When music videos started to surface, his are what I loved the most. As time went on and music changed, it seemed so did Michael Jackson. I lost touch with this odd fellow, he started to do things I quite did not understand, so I pulled away, as I did, I felt that many people from my generation were doing the same and thinking the same word "weird".

As I saw him age and change many of his facial features, including his color, I was disgusted at what he become. The allegations of his child abuse, just proved to me that he was a man with many mental issues. I could not look at him anymore, or even listen to his songs without pure disgust.

When I heard of his passing, I felt bad, but yet could not understand my feelings because of what I once felt. I was so upset that the country had gone crazy with his passing as it seemed life stopped all around us, and it was all about Michael passing. What upset me the most was his passing is probably due to overdosing on drugs which to me is so unnecessary. Why should we honor a man such as this?

On Tuesday I needed to see for myself this memorial that I was sure was going to be a spectacular circus romp. When I saw his casket carried in by his brothers, something hit me like a ton of bricks. He was human, he was a father, a brother, a son. As people started to eulogized him, I was drawn in, and my heart began to cry. I had never thought of him as a human these past several years, he had turned into a Ogre for me. Yet, I never ever thought of him always being surrounded by paparazzi and spectator's when perhaps he just went to a store. He was never able to be "normal" his life was so far from what we know, that the sympathy in me grew for him. And I started to understand.

His memorial was a sweet surprise, done so well, so tasteful (except for Al Sharpton, who I can't stand, so I hit mute). What the memorial did for me was humanized him, something I had so forgotten. His children are beautiful and very real, no masks, no running, just there real and true, he was their Daddy, good, bad or indifferent, a father to them, it is what they knew, he was who they loved.

What stands out the most is of course Paris's farewell to her father, however, for me its when Jermaine sang Michael's favorite song (which I had no idea it was his favorite) "Smile" I could not help but think. "Smiles they are my favorite as well". Whenever I write a letter or comment, I always end with "Smiles" it has become my trademark. Smiles are so important, as you can see in the words.

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,

If you smile
thro' your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,
Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile

:O)

It sounds very simple, a smile. But you have to wonder, when one such as he is so trapped in a world unknown to us, how simple could it have really been.