Chip

by Bonacci

Some days I have a chip on my shoulder. I think we all have those days. Where no matter what someone says, it’s going to piss you off. Sometimes my chip has a specific target. Just one person who annoys the heck out of me. I recognize that about myself so I control it. I don’t know how, exactly. Metaphorically, I think I just set it aside. I treat the person or people respectfully and will humble myself to avoid an argument. I am not always successful, but I think I make a respectable effort.

I see other people with chips on their shoulders all the time in my work. There is one individual who may as well be called Chip because he always has one. When he blows, he really blows. You can walk into the office and say it’s a nice day out and he’ll go berserk. “What do you mean a nice day? It’s shit! It’s going to get hot and we’re going to be sweating in this sauna! How can you even say that? The day sucks!” Whoa. Sorry you don’t like sunshine, dude. You can always lower the A/C and I installed that fan, so you can use that. “I don’t care about all that! The day still sucks! Say it! It sucks!” And he will continue until I admit that yes, the day sucks and we are all miserable. If I were a man, he would hit me or throw something at me. If I were anyone but me in that office, I’d refuse to say the day sucked, just to watch him freak out. He’s just part of that job. When the fireworks are over, we all get back to work.

I had an experience with a woman who had a chip on her shoulder. Women seem to be more passive aggressive. I was at that office to do some IT work and she was the manager. The owner had requested my services, but this woman was the one I had to get information from. I knew she didn’t like me on sight. She dug in her heels and either gave me wrong information or claimed not to know anything. What should have taken 6 hours took 2 days. On the second day this woman told me I needed to take the outgoing mail to the post office. What??

I told her I’d be happy to do as she asked, but thought she might want to consider 2 things. First, I didn’t know where the post office was. Second, I charge $150 per hour and that’s a lot to pay someone for mailing letters. She didn’t care. She wanted me to mail the letters. It took me about 40 minutes. A $100 mail run. When I returned, this woman apologized to me and told me she’d been having a tantrum. No kidding, I thought. I told her I got paid by the hour and it was no skin off my nose. Inwardly, I saw her as selfish, catty and ugly because it wasn’t her money she was wasting; it was her boss’ money.

I called the owner of this office that evening and told him that I thought it would be better if he had another consultant handle his IT work. I didn’t have to tell him why. He knew and said he was in the process of replacing her. Outwardly, it was none of my business and I recommended another consultant to take over where I’d left off. I’d maintained my professionalism.

The point of this is that the man who freaks out, does it outwardly. There’s no question he’s pissed and he lets loose. Then he’s done, and everything’s normal again. The woman thinks she’s clever. She masks her anger or dislike. The only person she’s fooling is herself. Sure, she tried to humiliate me by sending me to the post office. I protected myself by telling her why it might not be a good idea, but she still wanted that humiliation. Fine by me. In the end, she lost her job and I gained another reference as well as a respectable reputation. I’ll go back to work at that office, she will not.

We all get chips on our shoulders at some time or another. The way I see it, there are 3 ways to handle them. Set it aside, let it out and get it over with, or try to be clever about it.

How do you handle someone else’s chip? What about your own?