by Jodi
This was posted by John Taylor of the band Duran Duran today. It totally made me LMBO!! Enjoy :)
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.
17 comments:
Good Morning!!
JODI: That was GREAT!! 9..9..9..9..9..9... :D
Thanks for the laughs this morning!
Jodi, Hello and thank you for for the information on calling.....
What number do I push for the short term memory, again?
Zona, You are beautious in first today. Oh, Is it #9?????
I'm still in San Diego. It was sunny yesterday, but we are going to have rain again today. :(
Poor Sakima has an eye infection and we have drops to put in his eye. After doing it this morning, Todd and Vicki decided it is definitely a two person job because he is one active puppy. So I don't have to be a meany. Yay!
Very funny! Good morning Zona and Barb!! :)
Good morning ZONA!! I'm still waiting to hear back from the Mother Ship!! ;)
BARB - 9 9 9 9 9!!! Kinda overcast here and a bit cooler. Keeping hope alive, though with my capri's and sandals!!
BEBBI - Good morning!!
Zona You're looking mighty fine in first today. I'm still waiting for the little voice to tell me what to do next. ;)
HOdi Those were great!!! I know it isn't very PC but the bipolar one made me laugh especially hard. Thanks for the laughs.
SacBarb How are you this fine day? Last night we had nickle and quarter size hail. Very unusual for us. There was a tremendous amount of thunder and lightening, too. The dog was literally frowning. She was very concrnefd about it all.
Bebbi Well, this is nice to see you here today. Waving a wing. It's kind of flabby but I'm waving it anyway.
SLIN - That one cracked me up, too!! Oh, hell they all did. PC be damned ;)
HOdi The dyslexic one is still making me laugh!
SHIRLEY - Finally got my taxes done today. After a stressful morning (digging for W-2's, K-1's .... UGH!!!) it totally paid off. We're getting a refund!!!
p.s. And I had everything organized, added up, and written down. I even took a shower!!!
My weekend to work, so this HOoter is heading to bed. Good night ♥
I'm SO dang pooped! Spent all day out and about....chopping....buying....meeting people....eating....walking....watching the last inning of the Sox game in a Marriott that we were only checking out.....in their owner's club...with free food and drink...(they invited us in....we can't help it if we look like owners!!!)...then walking....eating....eating....walking....and eating~ That's a lot of werk!!! And it was a beautiful day~ GORGEOUS!!~
I'm not going to put my gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down.....and cry~ I think I'm TOTALLY menopausal!!!~ Y U C K !!!~
Thanks for the blag, Jodi~
Zona~ u look 9 this morning~
Barb~ I so LOVE SD~
Beverly~ Cannoli~
J/L~ I'm pretty sure waving ur wing will make the flab go away...that's what I'm hoping for~ (me....not you!~)
TINA - So glad you had a good day!! Did you get to Vera Bradley?
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