by Zona
There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink, when a large, trouble-making dude steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the dude says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener. . . and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it, and sit here watching the arsenic dissolve. Then some jack-ass shows up and drinks the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
30 comments:
Good morning HOoters!!
ZONA - Wow...didn't see that coming!!
SHIRLEY - Frantically searching for all my tax info. And praying my gal has an opening for me this week. I do not, however stink, have said info in a crumbled up box, and will be there with a dazzling smile on my face :)
Morning Glories!
Thank for the compliments on my grandchildren. Yes I to think they are stinking cute!
I am still sick it is some kind of flu and cold. I congested and my voice keeps going.
My brother is actually getting out of the hospital today. He has to go back in 3 weeks and if all stays good in that time no more surgeries. Yay!
Good Morning Jodi - Congrats on being first. It was nice to see you in the nest when I got here this morning.
I too have to gather up my information for my accountant. Our youngest daughter is a Chartered Accountant and handles all of his farm taxes. I however like to have an independent accountant.
Good Morning Lynn - We were writing at the same time. I hope you feel better soon. That flu is an awful one.
Good news about your brother.
Zona - That is a good one. I also did not see the ending coming.
My granddaughter (the 14 year old) has volunteered to come and spend the day to help me. I guess I will be pretty busy entertaining her. It will be fun though. She hasn't been here by herself for quite a while.
Have a great day Owls.
LYNN - Feel better soon!! And that is great news about your brother :)
TINKA - Have fun with your granddaughter!! I loved "my time" with my Grandma ♥
HOdi Good morning, Pretty Lady. It's nice to see your perky little owl in first today.
Just now hoping yout tax lady can give you an appointment? Yikes! Can you say "last minute"?
Zona Thanks for the cute story. I didn't see that coming, either.
LynnD I had some kind of flu weeks ago and am still waking up with some congestion.
So glad to hear the encouraging news about your brother.
Tinka Have fun today with your granddaughter. Mine wants me to braid her hair at the moment.
SLIN - Ha!! I'm the queen of "works well under pressure"!
hi...
appropriate responses to everyone...
(waving the Royal wave...)
I's been feeling polee for the last few days....but hey! It has advantages. As of about 4 days ago my weight indicated that I have lost 50 pounds. About 15 more pounds and I will be at my ideal weight again. And I am sure that won't take long...
Funny thing is...and this is strange....I got out a pair of jeans from B.F. (before fat) and they were loose...I thought ok! I can but great new clothes and that will be fun fun fun!! I'll look great! I'll feel great!!
Within an hour of looking online at all the beautiful clothes I can get...I lost interest and thought...
who gives a crap...all I want to do is sleep...I can do that in my underwear...
Michael I'm sorry. This all sounds rather alarming. (((HUGS)))
J/L...
its depression. As hard as I try and as much as I want to be 'myself' it just seems to get worse...
And I am tired of doctors and shrinks...taking drugs and feeling hopeless....
I have even talked recently to
clergy hoping to find answers and in many ways it was like talking to a brick wall...
Something is going to give....it has too....this can't be the way my life is meant to be.
I do feel like some of the weight loss has to do with having my teeth done...I got in the habit of practically not eating for months and I guess it stuck...
Michael - I want you to start eating good well balanced meals. You have lost enough weight. You looked good before and I am sure you look great now. Please don't lose any more weight. You will feel better now that the weather is nicer, don't you think?
Lynn - I forgot to say how much I enjoyed seeing the pictures of your beautiful grandchildren. They are gorgeous.
Just_Lin - I have loved having my granddaughter here. I gave her daycare for three years when she was a baby. Now she is 14 and looked after me today. We went for a walk, I was on the scooter and walked the dogs. Then she went for a ride herself. We had a great day. Her mother is coming for her now. I would like to keep her.
MICHAEL - I say go shopping anyway. I understand about the depression, but on the days that I get all "done up", I feel so much better!! Sure wish you still had your phone so we could chat. Kinda miss our conversations :)
TINKA - Sounds like it is the way it should be. The circle of life and all ♥ Glad you were able to get out today and enjoy it with your granddaughter!!
Sorry, my delete.
Wishing everyone a lovely evening!!
Hello Everyone~ My day was much better than this guy! That was a good one, Zona~
Thanks for the blogs, also~ They have really helped me out~
Boston felt like Chicago at times today.....the wind picked up and bounced even ME around!!!! (shuddup skinny Michael!) Went to the JFK Library.....been before, but the hubby hasn't....they've added some Jackie stuff that was neat~
Behave....all-a-ya....feel better if you don't...((((hugs)))) if you need them....kisses if you don't~ :)~
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TINA - Glad you are having fun in Boston, but seriously, do you ever work? ;p
SLIN - Congrats on 25!!
Time for me to "hoist and rinse"!!
I'll see u all after work :)
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30!!! Ha!!!
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