DISCONNECT
by Lynn D
Sometimes I am at a loss on how to deal with myself. I have many issues and have tried to work on them as I grow.
One issue I am struggling with and have come to the conclusion I may always, is my ability to just disconnect emotionally. This occurs when I feel threatened or uncertain. It really can go beyond normal reason and caution.
I know I learned it at a young age as I had to learn how to cope very quickly early in my life. I had to divorce or stop the emotions or they would overtake me. I was too young to know how to make the hurt stop so I learned to disconnect while still looking engaged.
I fell helpless to stop it. As I get older it is like a closed emotional fist. I can feel it in my gut and see it in my minds eye. The old recording in my mind that says don’t share, don’t reveal too much or you will be disappointed again. No one will accept you for who you are, don’t take the chance. I am a coward and give in.
This coping mechanism helped me get through some very tough emotional and physical times in my life, but now it feels like a weight holding me down and keeping me from being happy. I am not saying that I am not happy. I have moments of happiness but I crave more. Are there people who are happy most of the time?
It makes me tired and really hinders me from accepting who I am and stops me from being who I want to be. I want to break the cycle and yet I cling to it as I can’t take someone else ripping through me emotionally it hurts so much.
I keep searching for a better way, a more logical way and have not found it yet. I will continue on this search because the fist is becoming more and more uncomfortable. I don’t want to live the rest of my life disconnected. It scares me and makes me sad that I could pass from this world without unclenching that fist.
******************
335 comments:
1 – 200 of 335 Newer› Newest»Good Morning
Good morning WANT!!! Congrats on first!!!
Off to read the blog.
Wow LYNN D!!! Really something to think about. I know that we all have defense mechanisms......I guess you just need to have a leap of faith to not fall back on it. I tend to get way too emotionally involved.....and tend to get hurt along the way. I guess I try to be an optimist......because I'd rather have a chance at something great, than not take that "leap of faith" and miss out on something amazing. I hope this makes sense.....I'll stop rambling now.
I hope everyone has a great day!!!
OMFH!!! I just pulled a TINA and totally washed a load of water. :P
Clean water is a good thing Jodi !
Good morning Jodi and Want! Congrats on 1st Want.
Heavy subject that I have to think about. I tend to be like Jodi. But I really get what you are saying Lynn.
I have a couple loads of water that need washing here too Jodi, when you are done with yours of course.
Good Morning Wisconsin Goldie and Jodi!
and me!
Well I guess it's a Wisconsin morning here in the nest!!!
GOLDIE - I'll get to yours as soon as I'm done with mine. :P Oh, and your pic makes me want to give you a booty bump this morning!!!
I think WI is the only state up and at 'em this morning!
Mr. Goldie asked me this morning just how long do I plan to keep his arse up as my avatar. LOl- told him until I get tired of looking at it.
I should have made him go put on is 'sexy' underwear....
Well.....it's certainly better than MR. JODI's tighty whities!!! Oh, he does have a collection of "holiday" undies.....but wouldn't be caught dead in most of them. Me? I prefer him in his leather chaps!!! LOL!!
Good Morning Want2sleep- (Congrats on 1st,) Jodi, and Goldie. I thought I was up early but you beat me by half an hour. I will be back in a few minutes.
Oh my gosh, I just noticed Mr Goldie's butt....
Good morning TINKA.....my, you are up early today!!!
Good mornin tink.
Chaps, huh? And do you have a riding crop Jodi?
Good morning!
I have to give some thought to the topic.
Congrats Want2sleep! YAY! You're first today!
I may have to call in sick so I can stay home and eat all day. OMG Shirley, you've outdone yourself.
Goldie see if your hubby will let you take a pic in his sexy undies!
My huz will only wear the whities, he won't wear anything else.
We were in the store buying him undies one day. At one point, he was a little way down the aisle, and I held up some mens thongs and said loudly for him to look, and I held them up.
He was so embarassed! He wouldn't be caught dead in a thong.
Back later, have a good day and happy Cinco De Mayo!
Hey Tink !
Morning East Bay J !
Good Morning!
Lynnd:
I know how hard it was to write this blog! You putting yourself out there and seeing yourself in the written word can be difficult. I have always said when the words flow it is meant to be..
I am sure there are times that you disconnect yourself off, however here in the nest I have not witness that, I find you to connect with all. What you may perceive yourself to be, others see differently!
Life is a journey we learn as we go, there is no rule book. If you realize what a issue is within ourself, half the journey has been crossed...
Baby Steps, one step at a time.
Kudos, Great Blog!
Want:
Why are you not sleeping?
SHIRLEY - Thanks for the beautiful spread of food!!! Busy catching up on some stuff and home - so I love it that I won't have to cook today!!!
GOLDIE - Riding crop?!!? No, but I do have a bull whip!!! :P
Good morning EAST BAY J & CAROL!!!
23
24
25!!!!
Happy Cinco de Mayo to all...
Enjoy the refreshment on the main page of the blog.
Shout out to Shirley, she made up the menu for today! Its on the front page of the blog, she did a great job...
Thank You Shirley!
And Shirley, area 51, "oops" So funny!
Your wit cracks me up....
Hi Jodi!
You are not at work?
Oh shit forgot!
Want:
Congrats on First!!!!
Whew.....got that first march out of the way!!!
I'll be back......time to fold the first (well second, if you count the water!!) load of laundry.
I should be sleeping any minute now Carol...lol
Whew.....got that first march out of the way!!!
I'll be back......time to fold the first (well second, if you count the water!!) load of laundry.
CAROL - This is my ONE day off this week!! Just opened the windows, and cranking the music......helps to keep me going doing the crappy housework.
Want:
Have a margarita first, it will help put you in la la land, heck have 3..
Jodi:
Enjoy your day off, It is so good to have the day off, crank the music, open the windows, get nekkid :O)
And Dance! Fun!
CAROL - Get nekked?!!? Oh my freakin' hell.....wouldn't want to scare the neighbors!!!
Good Morning East Bay and night.owls.sb - I couldn't figure why EBJ was staying home to eat Shirley's food until I came to Carol's post about the feast being on the main page. It serves me right for not starting at the beginning. I am going back to read the blog and find the food.
Thanks for the awesome menu Shirley. I noticed it earlier but forgot to mention it. How I forgot to mention food is beyond me.
EBJ- I am thinking the undies photo was a one time thing. Not likely to get him to do it again!
He is back to work today and not taking the vicodin.
Way to March Jodi! I have the radio on quietly but the window are open by my desk. Hoping for the same inspiration to keep me woking today. But since I am on the blog and not working at the moment, I am going with it is NOT working!
Ok, my day is calling me!
To All:
Have a great day!
Jodi:
Fuck the neighbors! You only live once!
:O)
Bye!
♥♥♥
Naked dancing this early in the morning??? Promises to be an interesting day....
Lynn D..Great blog! I understand what you are saying very well. I tend to reserve a part of myself almost unconsciously. I think it's because underneath my emotions run very strongly. I think that I appear reserved to others, but I don't feel that you do at all. I think you connect very well. You were one of the first people to reach out to me when I came to this blog and you made me feel very welcome and part of the group. In fact, I wondered if we were long lost sisters :)
Thanks to all who sent hugs and sympathy. The service is tomorrow, I'm sure it will be a tough day.
Off to try and paint varnished doors...wish me luck!!!!
Scirish - I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Lynn - What a beautiful, honest blog. You do what the nurses and doctors learn to do and that is to disconnect their feelings in difficult situations. They have to or they would lose their minds. I wish I could disconnect sometimes. I get emotionally involved when I should just stand back and be objective. I have often been hurt by opening up too soon in some relationships. I guess it's that happy medium that we strive to reach.
Shirley - What a beautiful spread of food. I am going to come back many times today and pick and choose. Thank you. That took you a great deal of time.
VIG - Have a safe trip. See you in ten days.
ZonaBaby - Be good today. I need not say that as you are always a good daughter.
I no longer know anything about men's underwear. "And that's all I have to say about that"
Happy 5th of May!!!
Good Morning..
Lynn - excellent blog!!
Want - congrats on Number 1
I see WISCONSIN has been busy this a.m.
Hey Goldie and Jodi - Mr. MEK would NEVER pose for his ass to be posted in this place!! LOL
Jodi - glad your water is clean.
Good morning - Want, Jodi, Goldie, Tinka, EBJ, cpgem, and scirish..
Scirish - I am sorry to hear about your friend.. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
I hope everyone has an excellent day!!
Morning Glories!
Want your awake and you got first!! Were you sleep typing again?
Shirley Thank you for the wonderful banquet for Cinco de Mayo! Do you cater?
Goldie I was wondering how you got Mr. Goldie to pose. Now I know Vicodin. Gads I wonder what he would do if he ate your brownies?
Lovey: I did not realize you did that beautiful painting on yesterdays blog! I love it!!
Jodi, Goldie, Carol, Tink, Scirish thank you for your kind comments.
It was weird when I sat down to write it the words just poured out of me and that is what appeared.
Sorry for the downer blog on Cinco party day tho! Everybody have a shot of Tequila on me!
Mouth seems a wee bit better this morning. I slept in and everything so maybe it is just swelling that has to run it's course.
(((Hugs))) to all!
Good morning Owls. It's going to be another beautiful sunny day here in Northern CA.
Want: Congrats on 1st
Goldie: So, will your Hubby tell the folks at work that you made him pose in his undies so you could show his arse to a bunch of Owls?
Shirley: Thanks for the spread. I think I'll have a Kahlua Cacao Shake. I don't know what it is, but it sounds good.
EBJ: Don't ya just love to embarrass your Hubby in public?
Scirish: I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Do you have MySpace?
Waving a wing at Jodi, Tinka, and Carol.
Good morning, Lynn and SacBarb..
Good Morning Mek and SacBarb - waving a wing right back at ya.
Lynn - It was far from a downer blog. It was an intelligent one that made us think. I know I need to do that sometimes. My brain is getting soft in retirement. I think you young owls keep my brain alert.
this is for Goldie..
50
50
Lynn: This is a really thought provoking subject. I tend to keep a lot of myself private and people who think they know me really well, don't. And when I get into situations that become uncomfortable, I also disconnect. I don't like to be confrontational, so I use that as a defense mechanism. I don't think it hinders my happiness, however. In fact, I think it enhances it, because by disconnecting, I don't dwell on what could be a potentially stressful situation. I have found that as I get older, this happens less. I hope this makes sense. I feel like I'm rambling. Sorry.
MEK - Congrats on 50!!!
Hey MEK: I got an email already that my 'tear drops' have been sent. Yay!!!!
Sacbarb this is what is in your shake. Be careful, I hear they can be quite "toxic". Lol!!
1 pint vanilla ice cream
1/3 C creme de cacao
1/3 C Kahlua
1/2 C - 3/4 C milk or 1/2 and 1/2 (depending on how thick you like your shake)
Good morning or early afternoon (depending on where you are) to everyone and Happy Cinco de Mayo Day!
Want2sleep congrats on 1st!
Thanks for the shout outs on the menu and thank you Carol for sprucing it up. I cooked all weekend. Lol! Lynn D the only place I cater to is here in the nest, sorry.
Wow, the blog posted early today!! lol
Congrats on 1st Want!
Shirley-OMG thanks for that fabulous menu!! I ADORE Mexican food..You did an excellent job!!
I'll have to read the blog later..I'm in a hurry!
I hope you all have a fabulous Monday!
**note how I took time to read about the FOOD and not the blog! LOL
Sorry LynnD..nothing personal;)
Be back later to read and comment..and I have an announcement! Sorry to tease;)lol
Some of you may have heard..It's about a trip;)hehe
Back before I go for an Ibuprofen run.
I have to say you are all making me think today.
Jodi: You always make sense! Love your optimistic approach to life!
Goldie: Same with you!
Scirish: I totally get what you are saying. Yes! Underneath my reserve are emotions running deep and fast and are hard at times to handle. Muwah sister owl! (((Hugs))) to get you through tomorrow.
Tinka: Thank you for your comments. Yes I am searching for that happy medium. It just seems out of reach at times. I will get there. At least I hope so.
MEK: Good Morning to you too! Thank you for the compliment.
Sacbarb: Wow that is a good way of looking at the disconnect! Like you, there are people who think they really know me but in many ways they don't. I have even had people really close to me say that I am intimidating. This blows my mind!!! I consider myself the least intimidating person I know. I asked my best friend if she thought that. She said no but she can understand why people would think that as I can be very quiet and observant. Like I am watching and waiting.
Little does she know this is the disconnect. I am assessing if I can trust that person and how involved I want to get or I may even feel threatened by them.
Oh and Shirley I want one of those shakes too! I think that would count as ice and a pain killer!
Ok have to go put some makeup on as I look like Hilda the Hag today.
Will be back in awhile. Everybody keep eating and drinking! Actually everybody eat everything I can't right now and let me know how it tastes!
Lynn D I found your blog very interesting. I take things very personally, so it's hard for me to disconnect. I isolate myself and dwell on everything. I talk about some things but others I keep to myself cause I don't want to burden anyone or I don't think they will understand. I don't have a strong personality like some of you do. I guess this is one more thing for me to think about while I sip a watermelon margarita. Lol!
Lynn D I'll sending you a whole blender of shakes if it will help.
What a colorful and tasty main page today! Shirley, you must be exhausted! I've been up since 4:45 this a.m. (??-- I think I'm going into my summer mode of up with the sun/afternoon nap/up late) so I'm ready for a chicken fajita with lots o' guac and some of that yummy margarita fruit salad. Thank you!!!
Shirley: Thanks for the recipe. Now I know exactly how I am gaining all that weight.
Lynn: I do the same thing about assessing and observing people. And while, as I said, I don't like to be confrontational, I certainly CAN get up in someone's face if the situation requires it. I have also been known to threaten someone with my 'Uncle Guido' when necessary. :o)
One shake should make you feel a little better, a bunch will make you feel a lot better.
Okay, after early morning yardwork, I've finally read your interesting posts. Spent my weed-pulling time sending hugs to (among others) Scirish, Lynn, Dianne, Jodi, DonnaJean, the Iteach family.......love you guys.
Lynn~~MS message mail :o). Interesting blog. We are so alike, except I probably disconnect more easily.
I don't go out of my way to share my deepest thoughts. Because I'm totally transparent, I would answer almost any deep personal question asked by a friend, but I do wait until asked. Where we differ, is I don't spend much time worrying about not being accepted if someone knew the 'real me'. The older I get, the more I've decided I don't have enough time to be ME, let alone someone else's version of what I 'should' be to make their real-life 'Friends List'. From that I disconnect easily. I'll take one true friend over a fan club any day!
THIS is going to freak y'all out!!
Follow the directions on the pic..Only takes a few seconds, but is going to amaze you!
AMAZING
LMAO@LynnD "hilda the hag"
So should I say I'm "freddy the fag" LMAO
LynnD
Your blog was wonderfully written. I think you are a wonderful person. I have only exceptional things to say about you. I would enjoy knowing you in real life as I have always thought of you as a very caring cyber friend and always kind, forgiving, peaceful and just all of the best qualities that make up a great person so I hope you go out into the world and share your wonderful self with as many people as possible and give everyone the pleasure of knowing you.
Shirley
Your menu is awesome as always. You are a wonderful person also and I think highly of you.
It is my Dad's birthday and I have guests in from CA. so happy day all.
or freddy the fairy sounds better:)lol
Happy birthday to your Dad dreama!
68
69 for turtle:)
Joey~~Isn't that awesome? I've seen it before, and you really don't even have to close your eyes. You can just focus on a white or light colored wall. And the image comes slowly, but lasts SO long!
Good Day Owls!!!!!
LynnD... What a great blog... I wish I could Disconnect..I wear my heart on my sleeve and it usually gets stomped on.....
That is one of the reasons I left Dialysis... I couldn't disconnect..I would be so emotionally involved with the patients..
I was like that at the Hospital.. but it was different... with Dialysis you saw the same people 3 times a week for hours at a time... Hell some of the patients knew more about the staff than the staffs family.. Got way to attached...
Want2.. Congrats on 1st!!!
Jodi, Goldie.. up and at it early this AM...
Scirish... Keeping you my thoughts and prayers today and tomorrow....
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
waving a wing at everyones else already landed and those yet to fly by...
Have a great day...
Am at work... it took me 1 hour to get this written... we have been busy...
Howdy Owls :o)
LynnD 10000 kudos for being so brave and honest writing today's blog.
I think your blog is a very big step,as Jodi said, "a leap of faith".
You have faith in us, to love and protect you and you feel safe in putting yourself out there for us to see.
I love what I see, and have the utmost respect for you.
We all have shields we put up at one time or another to protect our most precious possessions,
"Our Emotions".
You are aware of this in yourself,and I think that is the first and hardest step in removing that fist.
Love yourself.
You are a wonderful,caring,loving person, that brings so much laughter,kindness and sunshine to others.
Pour some of that on you.
Life is too short and can be gone tomorrow.
Concentrate on what you think about yourself instead of what others might,because in the long run, it's irrelevant what they think,you is all that matters.
People come and go,you're stuck with you for life.
I love Bon's comment:
"I'll take one true friend over a fan club any day!"
JOEY - Wow!!! That's amazing...I had never seen that before. Thanks for sharing. :D
LOVEY - I totally agree with you!!!
BON - I second what LOVEY said about your comment. So true!!!
75!!!! Just for shits and giggles!!! :P
Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!
Shirley!!! Thanks so much for this wonderful spread of great food.
You can't fade away here, we see u and love u xox
Jodi~~Cawfee chat tomorrow after work?? LOL@ pullin a Tina.... man u 2 gotta have sparkling washers..that look brand new.
Goldie~~I'm going thru brownie withdrawl hehe.
Can I have 2 batches later?Or do we need to send someone shopping for supplies.
SACBARB~~LOL@ Uncle Guido,Im sorry,but when I read that name, I can only think of SNL Father Guido Sarducci.hahaha
SCirish~~(((Hugs)))Thinking of u.
Wishing everyone a sunshine Monday!
Good Afternoon Owls!
Lynn: Kudos for a well written blog!
Shirley: Thanks for the yummy menu!
Dreama: Happy Birthday to your Dad!
From yesterday's comments...
Dianne: ((Hugs)) Sending a prayer for a speedy recovery.
Iteach: Have you heard the song "Cell Block Tango" from the musical, Chicago? My favorite verse is the one about Bernie who liked to chew gum. "No, not chew. POP." LOL! That sound annoys me too. ;)
Hello and Happy Monday to everyone!
lynn, I don't think I got back to your blog comment as I meant too.
What I would like to say is that I am so honored that you would share with us those deep thoughts.
I find you to be the kind of person who I instantly relate to, so similar in many ways. Your blog today just showed us another side of a lady we all care so much about and enjoy on this blog.
lovey, for you - 3 batches! But you have to share the 3rd with the rest of the gang.
79
80!
I figured I better get that one because Jodi or Mek will run me down for 100.
Goldie I have my QQ on u,n I'm ready to march the next one!!
:oP 82
going to have to put on my facemask and running shoes.......
Lynn D I am so impressed with your blog today. I know you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable to us today and I thank you for your trust. I don't know if you remember but I once wrote on this blog about my extrememly abusive first marriage. I know what it means to have that wall up around the core of our being. It's the only way to survive, emotionally or spiritually. At some point, long after the danger is gone, we can be thankful for that protective mechanism but also recognize that it has outlived its usefulness. The next time you feel that fist tightening, ask yourself if you really need it anymore. It worked to your benefit before but does it really benefit you now, or does it just get in the way. The real reasons you needed it are long gone. Maybe its time to let it go. It will take some practice but it can be done. (((HUGS))) to you.
I always share, "Sharin is Carin"
LynnD, ty,glad u liked the painting.
I did a Seasonal Set as gift for a friends birthday.They are in my pics on myspace:o)
30 days JustLin!!!
wooohoooo!! Custard with whipped cream?
Want You must sleep walk. Congrats on #1.
Shirley What a wonderful Cinco de Mayo spread! Thank you so much.
Goldie You took advantage of your hubby while he was on drugs. Way to go! LOL
Jodi I bet it was difficult to fold that first load of laundry.
j/l- I am gearing up for tomorrow's big day by drinking a strawberry margurita in your honor. O
Of course I took advantage of him while on drugs. I did forget to ask for money though... damn
lovey- I love your art and handiwork. Wish I had some real life stuff of yours.
strapping on my shoes and getting ready...
left, right, left..
left, right, left,
here we go.........
93
94
It's gotta be 5'O clock somewhere...damn the time never did stop me before it's not going to now...
Lifting my glass to LynnD..
Congrats on removing some of that fist today!
Be happy and celebrate you're on your way to butterflies in your tummy and not a fist of bolts.Cheers!!
95
97
98
Lovey????
100!!!!!!!!!
wahoo- except no one was running with me. The good news is I didn't hurt anyone.
Jodi and Bono, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I am still amazed by it lol
Thanks BONO for the tip about not closing your eyes..I like it both ways!
Okay, the big news...**insert drumroll**
I will be in NEW YORK CITY this upcoming weekend!! OMG! LOL
As you know, I went last summer and met Rosie..well, I get to meet her AGAIN outside of the stage door after her performance in the broadway show No, No, Nanette!! I am SO SO excited!!
I just made a myspace bulletin about it!
For anyone in the area, I'd love to meet up with you Saturday daytime or anytime Sunday!!
I'm BEYOND excited!:):)
Goldie ty, send addy lol I have a ton load...lol.
96
:oP
CRAP!! I was Goldie by Joey booted me
haha Goldie!Congrats on 100!
Oh and I will be meeting my rblogger friends from my flickr rosie group!! We are all eating at Joe Allen's, the famous restaurant rosie always mentions on her blog!!
I have TONS to do this week to prepare...I'm nervous and excited as if it was my first time all over again;)
WAY TO GO JOEY!!!!!!!
So happy for you- will go check out your myspace too.
Amazing the people I "know" that know people!
I didn't do it!:)hehe
LMAO my babies are sitting and the window,trying to kiss a birdie on the sill, but can't because of the screen.Oh man I gotta get me a flip to video this stuff.
Lovey & JustLin~~~WOW, so very well-said!
Think I'm ready for that nap now, but first another 'Things that make ya go Hmmmm':
I just hard-boiled some eggs for tuna salad sammies. Does anyone else find that if you boil eggs to chop to bits, every single one slides perfectly from the shell, BUT if you plan to make a dozen beautiful deviled eggs for some function, at least half come out like a perfect yolk surrounded by raggedy clumps of white? I know all the secrets re: freshness, temp, quick soak in icy cold water....still, it never fails. Hummmm, anybody want to devil some eggs? :o)
Joey, I'm excited for you. Have the best time ever! Give Rosie an extra hug from us.
LOVEY - After work tomorrow is perfect!!!!
BON - In my experience (making potato salad) it is best to use, how can I say, not the freshest eggs. They always peel the best for me when I let them sit for about a week before cooking them!!
GOLDIE - When I was scrolling down to see who got 100, boy did I see me a lot of ass!!!! LOL!!
Thanks Bono! I am about to make egg salad! LOL
Jodi, your potato salad needs to be patented or something lol
I hope to taste it one day;)
Jodi's potato salad©
ROFLMAO@Jodi..I think you just secured a spot for tomorrow's QOTD!!
Joey,
(Cue the orchestra)
Start spreading the news
I'm leaving [this weekend]
I want to be a part of it
New York, New York... :)
How exciting!! Have a blast!
Jodi are you complaining or happy about all that ass you are getting??
Good Afternoon everyone -
I just woke from my nap and I am enjoying all the comments. What a lovely bunch of owls live in this nest.
Joey - Congrats on your trip. I am looking forward to hearing all about it. Maybe by the time you come back I will have figured out how to do 'links'. Thanks for your patience in trying to teach me.
Bon O - You are so right. One can follow all the helpful hints but if you are ready to make deviled eggs I think the eggs become devil-like and do not cooperate. Something that makes you go Hmmmmm.
Goldie - I just discovered something. If you click on your avatar you get a full size picture. I can almost read the writing.
Amicus - I love your new avatar. Did you design it? You are so creative.
#120 I think it's time for Afternoon Tea. See you all later.
Hi everyone!
LYNND: I read your blog three times and was so impressed at how you put yourself out there when you were so wary about doing so. Thank you for your trust in us.
I have no disconnect. You would think, after all the stuff my brother did to me, that I would. But I don't. I let people in because I want them to know the real me, and I want to know them too. Sure I'm always afraid of getting hurt, and lots of times I do get my heart stomped on. But for the moments of laughter and the opportunity to really be a friend to others, I've learned to accept the chance that I might get hurt. When you meet me, talk to me, write to me...you are really seeing me..good or bad..it's me.
Tinka: Thanks, but no, I didn't design it. I've been using it for a while now so I'm not 100% sure where I found it, but it was probably PhotoBucket. :)
WANT2: Congrats on being first lil' polar bear!! :)
JODI: LOL at Mr. JODI's chaps and your bullwhip! Shoulda known though, Pistol!! ;) Hope you are enjoying your day off.
GOLDIE: Nice buns you have staked your claim to!!
TINKA: See, I listened and rested my eyes for a while, that's why I can read the tag on Mr. Goldie's nice..I mean on GOLDIE's avatar! ;)
VIG: Hope you are travelling safely and keeping your eyes on the road and not peeking at those standing on the sidewalk!
CPGEM: Sometimes I wish there was a rule book for life...
EBJ: LOL! Mr. Z likes his whites too! I once bought him the Joe Boxer's with the smiley face? When he sat down and the smiley really smiled...well that was it for novelty underwear!
SCIRISH: {{HUGS)) and my prayers are with you.
SACBARB: I think I know you some, and find you to be a sweetheart.
MEK: Where have you been?? Miss you!
JOEY: Have fun in New York!! Well that was making the obvious, more so! LOL!
IBB: My sleeve wears mt heart too.
LOVEY: OMG..I forgot..the email..please forgive me.
HI AMICUS!! HI BON'O!!
SHIRLEY: Thank you so much for the wonderful menu!
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!
HI ZonaBaby - I was just going to do some banking on-line when I saw you posted. Glad you are feeling better today. I am so happy that I got to know the real you and a fantastic person it is. Thanks for your friendship and generosity.
#125 I let myself get distracted. Back to the banking.
DIANNE: Hope you are doing better! Are you home yet?? Check in please.
TINA: I've got three candles burning...please get better soon..before I start a fire! ;)
TINKA: I've really been blessed in knowing you too. No more distractions..not while working with numbers! :)
Yes Dianne - Let me know when you are up to a phone call.
Zona - I am all set up on-line for my mom's bank. I am happy. Going into that bank carries too many memories.
Hope all owls are having a great afternoon.
Shirley - I just partook of your lovely meal. Thank you. You are a sweetheart.
J/LIN: I MISSED YOU!!! So sorry..and here I was off looking for a 29!!
Hi all,
I just posted a really long comment on the Paula's birthday post. Then I realized it wasn't the most current one. I need to fix my bookmark! LOL!
Jodi, thanks for the comment on myspace. iteach, I asked to be your friend on myspace. Also, for anyone who I haven't asked yet, if you want to add me www.myspace.com/bebbi.
I come and go on these blogs but I will be around as much as I can. I work a lot and travel as much as I can so I come and go, please forgive that in advance.
Regarding today's post: I have a tendency to reveal too much about myself and regret it later. I have always been like this and it is my nature and hard to stop. My hubby is much more private and I wish I could be that way more. Unfortunately, I "wear my heart on my sleeve" and sometimes it has been okay and other times, it has hurt me.
I would say I am fairly happy person, just occasionally I get the low points.
Take care all and have a great CINCO DE MAYO And Happy Monday (what is left of it). Hugs~Bebbi
# 130 Bebbi - Nice to see you today. I am like you. Sometimes I regret what I have revealed to people I don't know too well. I am working on that as Lynn is working on the opposite. We are going to hit a happy medium. Thanks for the beautiful picture comment this morning.
Well damn! I just typed out a long post and it got eaten up. ARGH!
Basically, this is the Readers Digest version:
Hi Owls!
I had a great time at Girl Scout Camp, but I am exhausted.
LynnD~ I hope you find a balance that will make you happy.
Joey~ We want details, but there are some things you can keep private. ;0)
Hi! I have this owl picture in my living room right above me. I took a picture of it, kind of fits with everyone elses! :)
Hi everyone!
I just want to say many of your posts have me teary eyed today! Thank you for putting up with my ramblings. You are all dear and wonderful people.
Bono: I so agree I one great friend is the richest thing on earth!
Justlin: Your post made me teary eyed. Thank you for your thoughtful and thought provoking response.
Lovey: You are a truly amazing person! Soon as I feel better I will check out your art work.
Goldie: Thank you also for your wonderful words and kindness.
Bebbi: Glad to see you post again!
Dreama: Your post was very sweet. I am amazed that is what you get from my posts and writings. Thank you!
Zona: What you see is what you get with me too...well just a little held back in reserve. LOL
If I missed anyone I am sorry came home from the store rattled as someone backed in to my car when I was in the store shopping. Came out and there was a big damn dent! They did not even leave a note. This poor car has been hit three times in parking lots. I don't know if it is invisible or what the damn deal is. I have decided to call it the stealth junker!
My youngests Daughters boyfriend is trying to get the dent out for me right now.
It has been one of those days.
(((Hugs))) to you all!
Jodi is right about how we all have different defense mechanisms.
I like to hide, usually under my covers.
ugh.....im so friggen tired. didn't sleep last night at all, and then today i was super busy at work.
i hope everyone has a super cinco de mayo. i will be eating dinner and going to bed. may not even eat. not sure. i just hope i get home. thank god it's only 5 miles.
not gonna do any shout outs. sorry. ya'll know i ♥ you.
G'night BARB/WA may your sleep be untroubled and your dreams really good! ;)
ITEACH: I go under the bed.
LYNND: I don't even know if I hold back...maybe unconsciously..geez I kinda hope so. ;) Thanks again for the great blog!
Scirish: (((HUGS)))
Zona: Thanks
LynnD: LOL@'stealth car' I don't understand how people have no conscience.
Lynn D: I agree with so many others. This blog is your first step at trying to connect! You should be proud of yourself. Simply WANTING to change is a step as well! You can do it and we are here to help if we can!
I am a lot like Tink and bebbi in that I open up too much and too soon. I certainly did that with who I thought was going to be my best friend ever (and she ended up taking my husband instead)! Talk about betrayal! I'm still trying to learn to "trust" again. I am having "Trust" issues with God even!
I'm also like Shirley in that I take everything personally and blow it out of proportion. I get easily hurt too!
I think my defense mechanism is to beat myself up (figuratively speaking)! I put myself down so others don't have to bother!
I am so glad you shared your post! I know it must have been difficult for your to open up!
I haven't seen your "guarded" side. I think you are great and very funny! I think it is wonderful you are sharing this with us. I believe we all have a part of us we keep guarded (and that's OK...to a point).
Shirley: Thanks for the Cinco de Mayo spread. One thing though...you should have remembered the "bean-o"! It could get quite musical in here later! LOL!!!
Want: Congrats on #1!
Scirish: You will be in my thoughts.
Joey: Congrats on the trip and meeting Rosie again! BTW, I do like "freddy the fairy" best! LOL!!! (I always liked Hilda the Hag!)
It's been a very busy day for me. I had mow my lawn and write a paper. Next I have to do the wash! YIKES!!!
I guess I need to get going!
I hope this ends on 140 like I am planning!
Hey there Zona! Feeling better? Have you tried reading aloud to Nikki yet?? ;D~
Jennifer~~I'm glad you're trying to stop in. Miss you when you're away. Don't succumb to OwLaundry Syndrome. Put the clothes in before filling with water!
I'm sure glad I'm not important enough to be in Wikipedia! I was just reading up on Edward Brooks before tomorrow's Oprah i'view of BabaWawa. Someone has already added the following line to Brook's Eulogy section on Wikipedia..."In his spare time he slept with Barbara Walters"
Have a great evening all. Time for an evening walk, then watching last night's Brothers & Sisters.
Joey:
Great News, so glad you are doing something for you! Enjoy..
And
That link, I actually saw it on your myspace..freaked me out...Oh Shit..
Wow...
Scirish:
I will surely be thinking of you tomorrow...
Dianne:
Hope you are feeling better
Zona:
Yes perhaps a rule book would help however I still think we would screw up :O)
Glynis:
You were missed! Glad all worked out. Question: do they serve girl scout cookies at scout camp?
Sacbarb:
Wow your comment to Lynnd!
Kudos..
Bon:
I agree wiki scares me :O)
BON'O: Didn't read to her, but just turned up "Sir Duke" and danced and sang to her..;)
SACBARB: It's true. :)
JENNIFER: Trusting is difficult because you are handing your very essence over to another for safekeeping. Trusting after being betrayed is almost impossible, but it can be done. {{HUGS}}
Iteach:
Miss your posts during the day!
Hope you kiddies are feeling better...♥♥♥
Jennifer:
I love that you have to end on a even number!
Lynn - I am sorry you had a bad day. Having someone dent your car is so annoying. Why can't people be more careful? You didn't deserve that after working so hard on the blog today,(not that you ever deserve it).
Thanks again, by the way. We have had some great discussions.
Barbara - I hope you have a good sleep tonight with pleasant dreams.
Jennifer - I wish great and happy things for your future. You deserve them after the treatment you got from a so called 'best friend'.
Iteach - I hope you wake tomorrow and all your babies are healthy - no more high temperatures. I am sending positive energy.
ZonaBaby - You did well last night. Now I am prescribing another early night for you.
VIG - Please check in when you arrive at your destination.
Dianne, Tina and Scirish - My thoughts and prayers are with you three tonight.
Glynis and Bebbi - Have a great day tomorrow.
This is my first day in a week to be active so I am tired and I am off to bed. I enjoyed DWTS. Now I will take a trip down Memory Lane with the Walton's (thanks again Baby).
Good Night and God Bless all the owls in our little protected nest.
Love, Tinka
Goodnight TINKA!! Sweet dreams..love you!
Good Nite Tinka!
Sweet Dreams..
I missed the comment about Lynn D's car...I have to scroll up...
Zona:
Hello you!
♥happy blue♥
Always for you
CPGEM: Thank you!!
I think we just wrote a poem! :)
Carol~ Yes, one of the troops had Trefoil cookies for the whole camp to make Smores with. Personally, I prefer graham crackers because they aren't as sweet, but had it been Trefoils and a cup of hot tea or cocoa I would have been all over it! The "All About" cookies are also a favorite for Smores because they have the chocolate on one side.
Thanks Bon'O! It's nice to be missed!
Carol: Yeah...the "even" thing is one of my many "quirks"! I think that would make a great blog (wondering what other weird "ritualistic" or "quirky" things we all have to do)!
Zona and Tink: Thank you both for the nice remarks. It's nice to have support! I love this nest! : )
OK...one more (154)!!!
Glynis:
Well that is a reason I would go to scout camp, cause of the cookies, I love them!
How fun that they get to make smores...
I used to love being a girl scout, it was so much fun! However I don't remember making smores, just eating the cookies one box at a time!
:O)
Zonababy:
I think you are right...
A poem we made!
:O)
LynnD:
Ouch sorry about your car!
Parking lots always worry me, I usually park further out away from lots of cars, just for that reason! Well there is another reason, my car is leased and the less dings the car has when it goes back is better for me.
***ATTN KMART SHOPPERS***
I just heard from DIANNE. She is a little worse today so they started an IV of steroids. She has been receiving more breathing treatments as well. Depending on who you talk to, she is going home Thurs., Wed., or tomorrow.
Matty will be back tomorrow..and just in case she has to stay, she had Mr. DIANNE bring her Thong Thursday outfit.
She asked that these messages be posted:
GOLDIE: It was great going through the blog and looking at a butt that wasn't in a hospital gown.
SHIRLEY: Please make a plate of Cinco de Mayo leftovers and freeze them for me.
JOEY: Have a great time in New York.
LYNND: Great blog. I always have all my feelings showing..not always such a great thing.
Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes.
*****THANK YOU*****
DIANNE: Please rest..and take it easy. Miss you. :)
Zona:
Thanks for keeping us updated on Dianne! I will continue to send her good wishes...
♥♥♥
Zona Thank you for keeping us updated on Dianne's hospital stay.
Dianne You must really like looking at Matty to be sticking around there longer. Do your breathing treatments and hurry back home. We all miss you in the nest. (((HUGS)))
I am typing here, and listening to birdee song's on her myspace. I love the songs she picks!!!
Oh I get it Matty is the male nurse, I was wondering who Matty was!
Dianne one large plate with a little bit of everything on it is wrapped and in the freezer waiting for you. I can't guarantee there will be any margaritas though. These owls like to drink. I'll see what I can do. Get better soon. Can you sneak us a picture of your nurse?
I'm off to bed. I hope everyone took a doggie bag home with them. Good night!
164
165
166
167
168
169
male nurse?!lol
Excuse my drunk typing if it doesn't come out right
I am drinking alone..first time in many many montths
I feel prety good
jammin 2 sum tunes
I love you all!:)
I just did that for Dianne. This post is for Jennifer so it ends in an even number.
Good night again!
shrilty got 169 sorruy i messed up ur 170 lol
I am sad so boozing it up! LMAO
I"m too sensistive that's part of the problem
Y'all dont' b mad at me
Joey I forgot to say congrats on the New York trip. How fun for you! I'm really happy for you. :)
Who could be mad at you Joey? No one here. You know you are loved.
thx lin and shilry'
thanx to all the ppl who support me going..some "friends" and 'family' don't support me going
I live life for ME:)
You should always live life for yourself. I hope you have a fantastic trip. Say "hi" to Rosie from the Owls.
Good night Joey. Don't drink too much. (((HUGS)))
Joey:
As long as you are not driving, drink away! Hope its margaritas for cinco de mayo!
Oops...Shirley is telling you not to drink to much, and I am telling you to booze it up!
Well there you go you got two views...
Pick one :O)
Joey:
Drunk typing, how funny!
When you see your comments tomorrow you are going to crack up with all the typos...
I am off to bed!
Everyone have a good tomorrow!
Nite
:O)
182
183! Night all
thx shirley and carul
I am feeling pretty doogd
Oh my i can't type
Shorty got low low low low lmao
Reebosx wid da straps..she gave that big booty a smack........lol
jammin to tunes...hot frat boy im'd and we chatttid and he is typicall str8 boy lol
let's see if I get FOAD --
186
187
188
189
90
91
92
man, could my computer go any slower!!!
94
95
96
FOAD
98
200
200
Post a Comment