This Night Owl Blog has given so much! It is a fun place, we don't bash and we have fun being "tedious"! We offer advice, give love, lots of free food and an open forum which can be about anything that is important, thought provoking or just plain silly. And sometimes we just March (some to different drummers, but all together). :) It is not about a single person, it is about all the people on any given day blended together.....Goldie!
Monday, April 21, 2008
A push is always good!
sometimes we need a push
if we want to do something and
just don't believe we are capable
we need a push
there have been many times in
my life, where i did not think i
was capable of doing something
i just did not have the confidence
to proceed
i needed a push, it is usually not just
one person, as in different times i
need a different pusher, all might
say the same, however only one will
stand out, and i will take the push from
that one person
when i think back on my life, i realize now
that any and all my endeavors would
have not been, if i did not receive that
very needed push, it completes my
decision, it makes me brave!
a decision had to be made regarding
my dad, i was not strong enough
to make it on my own, i needed a push
my dearest middle nephew gave me
the most endearing push, i grabbed
onto it, and held it tightly
i only wish, that perhaps someday i could
feel strong enough about myself, perhaps
get the confidence to believe in me
without hesitation, as this would allow
me to make that decision on my own
i always say "baby steps" as then you
can ease thru things, without to much of
a struggle
for now i will welcome the push
and just take it slowly
learning a new way is always hard
however i think
baby steps and time will help~~
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 329 of 329MEK: I'm going to watch Medium after DWTS. It's another new one tonight.
Irwin just isn't himself!!!
Yes, i LOVE Medium!!!
Sorry I missed the march MEK, but congrats on 200 and being tedious!
SacBarb - LOL - thanks!!
maybe we should plan a scrapbook project for August!!
:-)
mek
I was msging you on myspace and here your are marching!
Congrats on 200
Yes I love when a owl is tedious...
Fun...
cpgem - I will go look now!!
I marched all alone!! :-(
MEK: You mean at the BABB? That would be awesome.
mek
I know, if I had known, I would have marched with you! I was here in spirit with you tho.
Bono - it's not over till the fat lady swings!!!
:-)
The more times I watch Raising Helen, the more impressed I am with how spot-on perfect Joan Cusack played her 'supporting' role. She's awesome!
SacBarb - maybe not AT the BBQ - but during that time there!! I love a good craft project!!
Bono - I love the WHOLE cast - and so many have gone on to be stars!!
and if you notice in all the Gary Marshall films - he uses the same supporting people over and over again!!
Pull tight!!!
You must whip it!!!
okay - back to the last half hour of DWTS!!
MEK: I didn't mean during the BABB, but we could plan a craft project either the day before or after. We can all get rooms at the same place and do it there.
SacBarb - yes, I am hoping that we all find the same hotel!! Sounds PERFECT to me!!!
:-)
220
Wow.. you guys are quick...
Bono--The ribs were delicious.. and we can't shoot the bear.. it is not "season" and you can get in big trouble... the bear was almost in the neighbors window.. they called the Sheriff and they told them to find a place to hide.. How nice...
MEK ~~ Yep....and btw, a week or so ago....the John Corbett voice-over I recognized...Applebee's :o)
and re: casting. I agree. It's like seeing Brothers & Sisters last night, directed by Ken Olin who has now written himself into the story, being married on screen and in real life to his 'thirty-something' co-star, Patricia Wettig for 20 some years now. So glad that show is back. It's the dysfunctional family I always wanted and never had! :o)
Watching "Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?" now........chores during commercials, LynnD!
222
Good evening everyone,
Waving Hi to everyone.
These comments today have been some really great insights to all the Owls. We were all raised in different nest's, but we're basically pretty much the same....just trying to make the best lives we can for ourselves. Great Blog, Carol.
I guess I'm pretty much a pushee and a pusher. Over the years I have tried to be a supportive and encouraging family member and friend, but sometimes I back-off, because the subject matter is really not my business...unless I'm asked.
My parents were very supportive of me, yet still babied by my father. He was from the old school that if you did everything like a young lady should, then you'll marry and someone will take care of you, as he had done. Certainly go for being the Drum Major and not just a marcher, if you were going to cheer, then be the Head Cheerleader. Yes, always do your best and excel, but be sure to learn your homemaking skills. LOL (That was such typical logic in the 60's and earlier). Look at all our sisters from decades ago that never even knew their potential...sad! I guess that was when it really was a man's world, huh?
Well, it wasn't that way with my mother. No Sirree, she KNEW she could succeed and do anything she wanted to do, if she wanted to do it badly enough...as the saying goes. These were some of the values Mother taught me, and by the way, I learned how to cook, too. LOL. I would imagine Mother learned these things because she had to, as she spent half her growing up years in a boarding school. She wanted to make a dress, so she taught herself to sew...etc. Watching her taught me the importance of always moving forward and giving encouragement to others. She was a very accomplished woman and an example in the business world.
Many times in the past, I have needed encouragement when I couldn't see progress in my recovery, and if it wasn't for the people that loved me and physical therapist, I'd probably be so wimped-out and not have moved forward.
Now if someone would just push me to clean my ceiling fans more often, I hate to do that and just put it off. I also need to up-date my will and someday I am going to wake-up dead and it not have been done.
Sorry for the long post....I know you little Owls would 'encourage' me to shorten them, because you're so supportive, and besides I know how 'tedious' it is to scroll past the banter.
((hugs)) to you all, and thank you for reading my dribble..
But--- if those same neighbors would haul their trash away in a timely manor .. we wouldn't have a bear problem!!!
224
crap I missed both of those.
SACBARB-- too funny.. just randomly counting!!!
sacbarb
do you want us to count with you :O)
Teen Wolf is on here also!!!
Ronnie - howdy!!
:-)
Bono - no Bueller for me!! sorry!!
IBB - when you watched the Bachelor - did you count how many times they say "AMAZING" during one hour?!!
Well I didn't think I was counting randomly...Bon'O and IBB just snuck in there.
Ronnie: LOL @ 'wake up dead' and I love reading your dribble...
Hi Mek. How are you?
Wishing all you beautiful owls a wonderful evening. I am taking my powder puff doggies and heading to bed. I have a very busy few days ahead of me. Thanks for all the entertainment today. You are a great read.
Your loving Tinka.
Thank you sacbarb, you're a sweetie.
LOL, after I posted and re-read what I had written...OMG, wake up dead???
Carol: Isn't it interesting how life eventually throws you curve balls that involve difficult moral choices? Like little tests of character?
I haven't been in a serious one of those situations with close relatives yet (both parents are still alive). Probably the situation I've been in personally that involved the most difficult moral decisions was with our friend "Tomasina" (not his real name), a neighbor and long-time friend of Huz's.
Tomasina broke up with a long-time lover in 1999 or thereabouts. One night, not long after the breakup, he came over and got really drunk and suicidally despondent. No exaggeration, I've never seen anyone in such an extreme state before or since. He kept trying to force his way out of Huz's apartment so he could go back to his own and end it all.
So here are Jim and I suddenly dealing with (really for the first time in at least my adult life), a completely crazy person. What do we do? In particular, should we force him to stay?
Yep, we did end up physically restraining him several times (both Jim and I would jump off our chairs and plant ourselves in front of the door when he bolted). And he would start over, begging and pleading with us to be let out and be allowed to die!
We were holding someone against their will. But it was the right decision. Eventually, we got him to calm down a little, and he slept it off.
Today, he's a happily partnered man again, having married "Drewsilla" (not his real name) in a fabulous ceremony (in a church!!) seven years ago.
But we sure did some fast second guessing of what the right course of action was at the time!
A little bit of second-guessing is good, I think.
Thanks for sparking these thoughts today!
Good night Tink, hope your day with your mother was fun.
xoxo
MEK- No ..I didn't know I was supposed to... If you guys watch it ... I haven't watched this year but the commercial made me curious...NO SPOILER..but..
It is just wrong!!!
SEE, I'm not the only long winded one. lol....Where's Jennifer?
Hi Bear!
Hey.. RONNIE___ WHABBEAR!!!
Ronnie - I am good, thank you!! and I totally understood the "wake up dead" comment - cuz I think about it all the time - the WILL is one of the things that I have have procrastiated on - it's like if you write it down - it's SO final!!!!!!!!!!
Hi IBB....Did you get a picture of your 300 lb. bear?
BTW, I'm so sorry for your lose of you best friend, but I bet you still talk to her....she's listening.
Whabby - had made his fly by!! You and Huz did a GREAT thing!!!
WHabbear..you did the right thing.. I had friend 23 years ago came to my house telling me he was going to end it all.... we talked for hours... i thought we had resloved everything... you can't imagine my surprise to find out the next morning that he had in fact taken his own life that night... right after he left my house...I still have remorse for letting him leave my house that night!!! I don't think I have ever forgiven myself for taht!!!
LOL Mek...Yes, that's pretty final.
You rested-up?
Ronnie.. i turned on the lights and got the camera and he slipped into the woods... But i will get his picture.. this will not be the last time we see him..
IBB, he was broken to the point that even a good friend couldn't 'fix' him. It was way past friendship and needing professional intervention.
((hugs)) to you.
IBB, are you scared to go outside sometimes?
250
Hey Bear, I forgot to tell you that I saw the NASA Telescope on top of Mauna Kea, 14,000 feet above sea level, when I was in Hawaii. Very impressive. We saw the sunset fron there and then did some star gazing and it was awesome. The last star we saw was Saturn and her rings and I was blown away.
Ronnie- sometimes.. but we have flashlights at every door... and check the yard before we let the dogs out.. I walk quick when I get home after dark..
IBB - there was nothing you could have done - when it's someone's time - it's their time!!!
IBB - I would be running - but then again - you are NOT supposed to run when there is wildlife!!
Ronnie - yes, I think I'm rested!!
255
IBB~
I guess you DO walk quick..lol
I believe I'd probably be breaking the sound barrier, making a sonic boom.
Just be careful.
257
MEK: We did our Trust last year. It actually makes you breathe easier, because you know all the things you have are going where you want them to go. I was freaked out at first..but glad we did it.
IBB: This is a silly question..but people actually eat bears?? I really want to know...eventhough it is gonna elicit some grins..and I don't mean our blog buddy!!
Hi RGIRL...Hi BEAR..
I was just thinking - if I had my choice of a bear or a rattlesnake - I think I would take the BEAR!!
OH - and Barb got to see her fair share of lizards while she was here!! they did NOT disappoint!!
260
Zona - I think most people kill bears for the rug!!
:-)
and, yes, I know - if we have everything in order - we will be able to "rest in peace"!! Maybe Melinda would have to help us "cross over" cuz we still have things to settle!! LOL
ronnie
Hey!
whabby
Well, you and huz deserve big Kudos. You held steadfast and knew if he just got thru the night, he would be ok! Good for you!
Around here they make rugs and have them stuffed to stand up in the living room...
BUT...YES they do eat them...
I actually have a wild life cookbook .. there are quite a few recipes for bear!!!
and Zona... remember... no question is silly if you don't know the answer!!
and any one who makes you feel like that, is the silly one!!!
IBB - EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
Hi Zona~~
I have a new year old granddaughter and it will be fast and easy to update, it's just doing it.
I know they make rugs and jewelry out of claws...but eat? I guess they did in the olden day on the frontier. Nasty.
Mek, I agree with you about taking the bear over a snake.
We "adopted" a rattler at the zoo for several years (my son's idea ) which meant we paid for his food..mice and rats, for each year he was ours. Nice huh? Well the zoo people said my son could name it and he was called Kojac! OMG
Hate, hate, those things.
269
Oh My!!!!
No pushin' and shovin'!!! YES!
Hey Carol~~~
You doing good?
you go Ronnie!!!
ZONA~~I really wasn't kidding about the bear sausage. Not to add to the 'wild west' image, 'cuz I've mentioned before here eating way too much salmon & venison. But, I used to archery hunt with my dad, killed a bear myself, and it made some really tasty sausage. You just have to know what you're doing when adding suet and spices. See why my MS is bon_nanook? ;D~
Thanks, ibb
I'll dedicate that one to our sick Owl, K-girl.
Ronnie
Yes, I am, and my nephew Vincent just stopped by, whenever I see one of my nephews I am always good.
Hey, BonO.
I hear your nephews are very good looking....must run in the family, huh?
Ok..guys I am off to bed 12a here, time to get comfy...
Hope all has a good evening..
Nite :O)
♥♥♥
IBB & MEK: You guys are too sweet...thank you. :)
MEK: I want you to LIVE in Peace for a long, long, long, long, time. OK?? Please?
That goes for everyone.
RGIRL: Except that dang snake..ick. I hate snakes...*shiver*
BonO...Bow hunting..way cool... now that is hunting... and that is THE hardest way to kill a bear!!
you impress me more every day!!!
BON'O: My cousin hunts with a crossbow..and he loves venison..I've never been tempted to try it though..
ronnnie
I think my nephews are handsome, but of course I am a very proud Aunt.
Their pics are on myspace, that pic was taken when the Youngest, Anthony was leaving for college, that was 4yrs ago. He graduate's in May. Time goes by so quickly. As I remember taking that pic.
And no it does not run in the family, but thanks anyway!
Carol...Sweet dreams!!!
Hey back, Ronnie! Did you see I put out an APB for you just before you flew in? Same with iTeach & Whab. We must all have some psychic connection.....or is it psychotic?
Carol~~G'night, and thanks again for the thought-fodder.
Thank You ibb...
nite!
well it is midnight... Need to work tomorrow.. but have to start at the court house...getting sworn in as a notary!!!
have a wonderful night ladies...
Play nice...
G'night CPGEM!! Lots of sweet dreams! Candle's burning!
TINKA: I missed you earlier G'night!!
ITEACH: I think I missed you too, G'night.
dang my eyes..I miss way too much..
Off to watch Medium..thank you again MEK!!
Night IBB!!
Nite, Nite, cpgem...
Zona - you are TOO sweet!!
:-)
Bono - the doctor I worked for in Colorado was an avid hunter of EVERYTHING - and I learned more about the "hunted" than I will ever want to know!!!
Ibb - good night!!
Yes, I am off to watch MEdium also!! be back in a few!!
heck, we'll miss the march to 300!!
should we stay around??!!
Niters, IBB. And it's not all that impressive...just livin' off the land. But that was MANY years ago, and while I was forced to eat venison or go hungry during the grade-school years, I could NEVER kill Bambi.
Maybe we should
RUN!!!!!
Elbow check!!
300
300
300
Good night Carol, i bet it DOES run in your family.
ibb~~Good night and don't let the bear-bugs bite. Strike that. Don't let the bed-bugs bite, although I hear they taste pretty good in sausage too. LOL Right BonO?
BonO~~ I didn't see an APB. lol I guess I was typing. Sounds like you and my son need to go Texas hunting together. He's a bow hunter too.
Holy crap - I got FOAD two times trying to win that one!!!
My day is complete - two marches in a row!!! SCORE!!!
I just went to MS to check mail and what's with the message from Tom?
'We are currently undergoing special maintanance'. Somebody needs to 'encourage' him to remember..."If it ain't broken, don't fix it"
Ronnie~~APB was way back at 10:33 on page one :) ~~ Haven't bow-hunted since High School. The Seattle years were all about deep-sea fishing with the ex. Subsequent years, if it used to breathe and isn't on-ice or styrofoam or delivered to my table, I don't eat it!
You're so funny Bon. I never have bow hunted.But I am a skeet shooter and waterfoul hunter though. Haven't been in about 4 years because the recoil would have been too much for me.
Please everyone, don't think less of me, we always ate everything we shot, and skeet is shooting clay disks.
Hope I haven't split my britches here.
Going to bed now before I say anything else.lol
((hugs)) to everyone and hope all sleep well.
Hi everyone,
Whab, I had a friend one time who talked about suicide, it was so strange. He did attempt it and I went to see him in the hospital.
Someone had found him in time, and he survived.
I felt completely helpless. He told me and other friends there was nothing we could do, he had his mind made up. He succeeded the next time he tried.
Anyway, your story made me remember Devon.
MEK, The Bachelor (or Bitchelor as my huz calls it) is on soon. I'm sure I'll again be AMAZED at how many times they say AMAZING during the show.
Ronnie - good night!!
EBJ - enjoy the AMAZING bachelor!!
Zona - Medium was EXCELLENT tonight - but I hate when I figure it all out!! (and I do that alot) - oh well - still REALLY good!!
I'm off for the night..
I hope everyone has an excellent Tuesday!! :-)
Night MEK..if you have a chance, you have mail!
Just stoppin in to say thank you for all the get well messages! I am sure it helps~ kinda like chicken soup for the mind....
Be back in full force soon....
OMG, IBB! Second-guessing should also leave some room for some self-forgiveness when those decisions ARE murky and the outcomes are NOT certain! We aren't in control of so many things!
East Bay: Wow! I seem to remember a spate of comments back on the Rossblog where everybody was talking about a personal experience with a suicide. I was kind of blown away at the obvious ubiquity of it!
And, on a lighter note, speaking of being blown away...
OMG! All this talk of eating bears is making me ROFLMAO!
It's really not bad, once you get the hang of it. The trick is to act graceful while you're spitting the pubic hairs out.
Barb: Were you actually up the mountain and near the observatories when you did the star-gazing? I would LOVE to do that; the skies up there are among the darkest on Earth, but I think an oxygen tank would be necessary!!
OMG, owls! For some reason I have been almost literally tripping on the music of the 80's band "Talk Talk" over the weekend and today!
Their original version of "It's My Life" is fabulous, of course (that's the big hit song of theirs that was covered a couple of years ago by No Doubt), but so are a couple of other songs on their greatest hits CD like "Such a Shame, and "Give it Up"!
Highly recommended!!!
WHABBEAR: Didn't Talk Talk also sing "Talk Talk"?? I liked that one. BTW..I might just have to call you by your full name from now on!! LOL!!!
LOL@Zona! You mean "Robear"?? LOL!
Yep, Talk Talk did "Talk Talk" too! Another catchy tune!
WHABBEAR: Oui!! ;)
Whabbear~~Just popping back in while checking late night news. Can't wait to check out the music. Love new recommendations and finds.
Isn't it odd how things surface at certain times here. Don't recall that suicide has ever come up here as a topic before.
Just last night it was the subject of MS messaging between myself and another owl who had been close to a successful suicide. I mentioned then that one of the things that led me to retire early from law enforcement last fall was the 3rd police officer suicide. During the course of a workday shift, I had laughed and joked with this officer/friend 3 different times. He seemed as jovial as on every other occasion. Three hours after going home that night, he argued with his police officer wife, then shot himself in the head with his service revolver.
Not retelling that here to bring anyone down, but if it helps any who've been so close and feel guilty for not knowing or doing more....I couldn't agree more with those who posted above. Some are beyond our ability to fix what's broken.
Whabbear If you'd put a music player on your myspace, you could have those songs on it. :)
Hello owls and owlettes. I gave a small dinner party . It was a success. I think I had too much Poille Fuisse and then cognac. I can't type and hit the right keys without great effort so I guess I must go towards the bed and fall in to it and see if I am okie dokie tomorrow. I won't remember this. I rarely drink. It took me forever to find the right page to write on. Geez! This is complicated when intoxicated.
BonO In the case of the officer/friend, do you think it was impulsive? You know, an "I'll show you"!
It is strange how our collective thoughts lead us down so many different roads in one day. It started out about confidence, turned into procrastination, with a side trip to hunting, and now suicide. As MEK would say, AMAZING!
Hey little owls above me..Wabbear, LustLin, Zonabay and everyone else.
It is 1 AM. I must go to bed before I pass out at my kepy board.
That's it..I'm mispelling names. I am going to bed. Shame on me.
dreama I like that new name you gave me, LustLin. Go nite nite now. :)
JustLin~~I wish I had a clue. He was a highly respected tenured officer and the last person one would expect to display any hostility toward anyone...but we never know what demons lurk. It's just one of life's many mysteries.
ROFLMAO@Dreama! I've been there!
Bon'O and Just_Lin: I love heavy topics! And by somehow getting on to suicide today, I think we've come full circle! What can be more frought with murky moral decision-making than suicide??
Some random thoughts about it:
When is suicide "bad" compared to "good"? I think we all kind of classify suicides that originate from great emotional pain (like serious depression) as something quite bad and tragic.
But when someone chooses suicide in response to great bodily pain, we are much more "forgiving", or at least not as likely to view it nearly as tragically.
What ARE the "guidelines" and "standards" that we should use when assigning a moral "value" to a suicide? Should it be viewed exclusively through the lens of how much pain and suffering the act causes to others? If you are checking out because you are terminally ill, and in great pain, the act may actually bring loved ones a measure of peace and comfort rather than guilt and sorrow.
But on the other end of the continuum, I've read so many narratives where the suicide decision leaves more guilt, pain, and sorrow among those close to the person than just about anything else they could do. Just unbelievable devastation.
Such wildly different reactions and impacts depending on circumstances, huh?
There is one suicide that I'm aware of that kind of haunts me to this day.
James Tiptree Jr. Science fiction writer from the 70's. Unbelievably interesting person.
James was really a woman named Alice Sheldon. She and her husband were involved in covert Pentagon activities until she went back to school, in the late 60's, and got her Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology. Soon after that, she started publishing science fiction short stories that won her all the highest awards in the field, over and over again.
But her husbands health rapidly deteriorated in the 1980's and, simply unwilling to live life without him, she suicided out.
What an amazingly pragmatic and almost dispassionate decision that was (it seems to me)! She just made an assessment about what was important to her about being alive, what made living worthwhile, and when that was taken away, it was time to take life away, too.
Things that make you go hmmmmmmm...
Whabbear She wasn't willing to start a new chapter and perhaps find new reasons to stay alive. Have you seen the documentary, "The Bridge" or maybe it's just "Bridge", I don't recall, but it is devastating.
I seem to be alone. I hope all the owls are resting peacefully. See you all tomorrow.
J/L: I haven't seen "The Bridge". Sounds like it's totally worthwhile!
Just checking in before I hit the hay.
Bear: we did the stargazing at 9,000 feet, but it was very dark and we could see a lot. The guide pointed out the stars with a blue lazer pointer and then positioned his telescope for us to see it.
I actually had to have a hit of oxygen when we were at 14,000 feet. I was having some breathing problems, but that cleared it up really fast. And yes, we were very close to all of the telescopes up there and the guide gave us a little background on all of them.
Good night Bear and to anyone who is left. Sweet Dreams.
Hi, Barb! Totally kewl! I've never been higher in altitude than Lake Tahoe!
Have a great night... signing off!
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