~ Happy Halloween ~

by Tina~in_ut

Two Men

by Dianne

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

 

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

 

His bed was next to the room's only window.

 

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

 

The men talked for hours on end.

 

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

 

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

 

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

 

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.  Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

 

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

 

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

 

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

 

Days, weeks and months passed.

 

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

 

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

 

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

 

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

 

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

 

It faced a blank wall.

 

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

 

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

 

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

 

Epilogue:

 

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

 

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

 

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

 

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'

The Other Cook

by Dianne

A wife was making a breakfast, fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more
butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You
NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry
up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt
them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE
THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
Do you think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied,

"I just wanted to show you how it feels when I'm driving."

Getting to Heaven

by Dianne

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her.

"Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
 
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled 'Love',and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
 
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
 
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
 
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ..."

Moral of the story: LEARN TO SPELL!

Remembering Mom's Clothesline

by Dianne

We had a long wooden pole (clothes pole) that was used to push the clotheslines up so that longer items (sheets/pants/etc.) didn't brush the ground and get dirty.

 

You have to be a "certain age" to appreciate this one....

(But you YOUNGER ones can read about "The GOOD ol' days"!!)

 

I can hear my mother now.....

 

THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: 

 

(If you don't even know what clotheslines are, better skip this.)

 

1. You had to hang the socks by the toes... NOT the top.

2. You hung pants by the BOTTOM/cuffs... NOT the waistbands.

3. You had to WASH the clothesline(s) before hanging any clothes - walk the entire length of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

4. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

5. You NEVER hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?

6. Wash day on a Monday! NEVER hang clothes on the weekend, or on Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

7. Hang the sheets and towels on the OUTSIDE lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

8. It didn't matter if it was sub-zero weather... clothes would "freeze-dry."

9. ALWAYS gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky"!

10. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

11. Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

12. IRONED???!! Well, that's a whole OTHER subject!

 

And now a POEM ...

 

A clothesline was a news forecast, To neighbors passing by,

There were no secrets you could keep, When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link, For neighbors always knew

If company had stopped on by, To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the "fancy sheets", And towels upon the line;

You'd see the "company table cloths", With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby's birth, From folks who lived inside,

As brand new infant clothes were hung, So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could, So readily be known

By watching how the sizes changed, You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck, As extra sheets were hung;

Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe too, Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, "On vacation now", When lines hung limp and bare.

It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged, With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon, If wash was dingy and gray,

As neighbors carefully raised their brows, And looked the other way.

But clotheslines now are of the past, For dryers make work much less.

Now what goes on inside a home, Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life, It was a friendly sign

When neighbors knew each other best... By what hung out!