Call a Doctor......

by Dianne

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........

  

The pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Fishing Story

by Dianne 

The DEA Agent

by Dianne

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

 

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go into that field over there", as he pointed out the location.

 

The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "Look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!"

 

Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

 

"See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

 

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

 

The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"