Happy Halloween

by Zona and Mr. Zona

As most of you know..Mr. Z loves carving pumpkins for Halloween. I am always amazed by how he can take just about any picture and carve a pumpkin that looks so much like it...I'm lucky if I can carve the traditional triangle eyes, nose and jaggedy mouth!! Every year we have a big Halloween display in our front yard and we usually get anywhere from 200 to 400 trick or treaters. A lot of former neighbors are so impressed by the pumpkin patch section of the display that they have made it a tradition to come back year after year to see the new ones he's carved. I thought you might like to see some of the pumpkins Mr Z carved for this year..as well as a couple from previous years. I hope you like them! Happy Halloween!!

Tim McGraw

Harry Potter

Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter

The Raiders

Frank Sinatra

Planet of the Apes

Heath Ledger as Joker

~ Mr. Know It All ~

by Tina~in_ut

Halloween

by Dianne

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the Company another nasty letter of complaint.

The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

We have TRIED our very best.

Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.

   

Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.

The Mouse

by Zona

You always hear how 'kids say the darndest things'..well here's an instance where Grandma came up with a pretty good line herself!! Mr. Z and I were at the Dollar Store the other day..I was looking for a strainer and he was looking for Halloween stuff. I was walking around the corner of an aisle heading towards the kitchen gadgets when I saw a lady and a little girl looking at mousetraps. The little girl asked.."Grandma what are these?"..pointing to the traps. "Those are mousetraps." her grandmother answered. "Mousetraps?" asked her granddaughter.."Why do you want to trap a mouse..so you can keep it for a pet?" The grandmother seemed a little distracted as she replied.."It doesn't really trap the mouse..it kills it." The little girl's voice started quivering as she said..."Kills it? The mouse goes inside and gets KILLED??!!" Her grandmother suddenly seemed to realized what she had said and quickly answered "Oh no..no..what happens is the mouse sees the trap and it gets so scared it has a heart attack..." "Oh!" the little girl said calming down..."I guess that's ok..." Boy did that grandmother let out a huge sigh of relief!! I wanted to give her a high five and say "Nice save Grandma!" :D

 

~ Wife Mowing the Lawn ~

by Tina~in_ut

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"

I took a drink from my bottle of Molson Canadian, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied!

"I am. That’s why she cuts the grass."

End of conversation. :)~

~ Daytona Beach ~

by Tina~in_ut

Just some random pictures of my trip to Daytona Beach.

Bridge to the race track.

Dale Earnhardt statue in front of the Daytona speedway museum.

I used to be able to get a lot closer to the track without taking the tour. I guess they are concerned about stalkers now...imagine that!!!

Ponce Inlet Lighthouse.

Daytona Beach. It was so freaking windy.

These two birds cracked me up. They were playing....or fighting....or somethin' else altogether~

And I wore my dang freaking crocs!!! Ga!!!! I thought I'd never utter those werds~

~ T-Shirts ~

by Tina~in_ut

* Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
* I recycle. I wore this shirt yesterday.
* I’m good in bed. I can sleep for days!
* Also available in sober.
* Voted class of 2057′s most likely to travel back in time.
* I’m like a museum – look but don’t touch.
* Somebody needs to rub my belly and tell me I’m pretty.
* I cannot be cloned without the express written permission of major league baseball.
* The world doesn’t revolve around you, it revolves around me!
* I’m like a good book. Wanna curl up with me?
* I do all my own stunts.
* I’m not old, I’m vintage!
* Anybody seen my mind? I know it’s around here somewhere…
* Save the drama for your mama.
* Official member conjugal visitors program.
* Official member fashion police academy.
* My long term goal is to get rich quick.
* I speak sarcasm as a second language.
* I have attention deficit… Hey, look at that!
* We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
* 333 – I’m only half evil.
* I can’t see the forest for the gump.
* Alcohol, tobacco, firearms. Check. Who’s bringing the punch and chips?
* I don’t have baggage, I have freight!
* I have the body of a god – Buddha.
* Nobody is perfect. I am nobody so I am perfect.
* Money talks. Mine says, "Goodbye."
* I can’t believe I bought a shirt that says only this!
* When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, ester of wood rosin, brominated vegetable oil, tocopherol, yellow number 5 and 1% natural flavors… Make lemonade!

Kodachrome

by Zona

When I was about 9 years old my mom gave me her father's old camera..I think it was called a Brownie. I was going to the zoo with my Girl Scout troop..and wanted to take some pictures of the animals. From that day on I was hooked. I loved photography. I was rarely without a camera..whether it be an Instamatic..Poloroid or Disc..remember the Disc camera? Weirdest negatives evah! In college I bought a Canon AE-1. I loved that camera..I took it everywhere with me..eventho it weighed a ton!! Somewhere along the line I stopped taking pictures...maybe it was because the film became so scarce or because I didn't really warm up to Digital cameras..I'm not sure. I still love photography though. This is one of my favorite songs..it makes me want to pick up my old camera and start snappin' away!!

~ Basilica of the National Shrine of Mary, Queen of the Universe ~

by Tina~in_ut

****We interrupt the Sunday Video blog to bring you a special in depth report. Your regularly scheduled crappy Sunday video will be back next week!****

When Disney built the first big hotel in Orlando, the Bishop sent a priest to say mass there. The second one was built, and another priest was sent....and so on. Well, the money that was collected at these masses was put aside until it could be decided what to do with it. Since the area grew and grew, it was decided that the money would be used to build a Basilica that could hold 2,000 people.

The church was next to the outlet stores that the hubby and I were giving all our money to, so when we were done shopping, we went over to check out the church, the museum, and the gift shop. The stained glass windows and stations of the cross were amazing. I loved the Our Lady of Guadalupe Chapel as well as many of the statues.

 

We had about an hour til mass started, so we went to dinner and when we returned, there was a policeman in the middle of the road directing traffic. When we got into the parking lot, we passed a place set up for cabs (weird) and the parking lot was half full (we were 10 min early). I couldn't believe how many people were there. This church is mostly used by tourists. I have a lot of church going friends, but almost all of them skip church when they go on vacation, so I was shocked at how full the church was. There were so many families, not just the old folks. It was nice to see. I love going to new churches. Thanks for indulging me~

~ Epcot ~

by Tina~in_ut

Ever been? I don't know if I'd ever have gone to Epcot if the hubby didn't have a conference here. I'm glad we got to go. It was fun. For some reason, the picture below reminded me of someone~ :)~

Junk Drawer

by Zona

Every house has a 'junk drawer'...a drawer where you throw things that you don't know what to do with..but don't want to throw away because you just might need them someday. We actually have four or five junk drawers...(and a junk room and a junk closet...but let's not get into those right now)...and I decided to take a look into one of them to see some of the 'can't live without' things that are in there. Here's what I found...one Jack Nicklaus golf ball with the word Muirfield stamped on it. My dad played golf back in the 70's. Maybe we are keeping this golf ball in case Mr Z decides to play one day..of course he'll need a golf club too..let's see..nope..not one in here. There's a Kodak 100 Instamatic camera..it takes 126 film. No film inside it though...phooey. Oh look..an earphone with a cord about 20ft long..I can't even imagine what this is for..maybe so you can listen to a transistor radio that's in the living room while you're in the kitchen? A deck of Pinochle cards. My folks had friends over often in the 70's to play this confusing card game. Oh wait..my mistake..these are Poker cards..ahhh the old days..when we used actual cards to play Solitaire! Flashcubes!! I better keep these in case I find 126 film for the camera..unless you want them DI?? ;)

 

There are screws and picture hangars and all sorts of other doo-dads in this drawer...I don't why they're all here..I only know that we must keep them...just in case. So...what kind of junk is in your drawers? ;D

~ The Land of Old Age ~

by Tina~in_ut

Have you celebrated your 25th birthday for the last ten years? Twenty? Even thirty? There are many perks to getting older such as closer parking, discounts, and the fact that you’re least likely to get kidnapped. Here are some signs that maybe, just maybe, you might be getting a little older.

1. You walk into a room and forget why you’re there. You repeat this four times before realizing you just wanted a drink of water.
2. You’re asleep, but others worry you’re dead.
3. Your friend is dating someone less than half their age, and isn’t breaking any laws.
4. People call you at 8pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" They did.
5. Happy hour is a nap.
6. You have a party and your neighbors don’t even realize it.
7. You have more hair in your ears than on your head. And you don’t care.
8. It takes three tries to get up from the couch.
9. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
10. You sink your teeth into a grilled cheese. They stay there.
11. The twinkle in your eye is just the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
12. You can’t remember where you put your glasses.
13. An hour later you remember you’re wearing your glasses.
14. You sit in a rocking chair, but you can’t get it going.
15. Your secrets are always safe with your friends because they can’t remember them.
16. You don’t worry about tying shoelaces. All your shoes are slip-ons.
17. Adult diapers? Actually, they’re kind of convenient.
18. You look both ways before crossing a room.
19. Your worst enemy? Gravity.
20. You see toys from your childhood. In a museum.
21. Your knees buckle. Your belt won’t.
22. You start every sentence with "Nowadays…" or "When I was your age…"
23. Someone says it’s windy today, and you reply, "No, it’s Thursday."
24. You pet your cat on the bathroom counter. It’s really your toupee.
25. You get winded on the stairs. Going down.
26. You wonder when they started letting elementary school kids become doctors.
27. You have ever used the word "whippersnapper".
28. You realize you can’t find some of your favorite magazines on the racks any more: Colliers, Coronet, Life, Look, Galaxy…
29. People start letting you go through doors first.
30. You no longer have to worry about strange men offering you candy. Or wine.
31. You know the difference between your and you’re; its and it’s; there, they’re and their; and are annoyed when you notice them misused.
32. You have ever referred to yourself using a ‘C’ word: Crotchety, Curmudgeon, Codger, Coot.
33. Other people have begun referring to you as "eccentric".
34. Your drivers license goes from "black" to "salt & pepper" to "grey" to "flesh-toned".
43. You tend to lose count of things.

~ Sophia Grace ~

by Tina~in_ut

and

My friend told me about these videos. I laughed so hard when I watched them both. I LOVED that Nicki told the girls that school comes first and music second! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

~ The Ides Of March ~

by Tina~in_ut

There's a line in the movie where Marisa Tomei's character, Ida, tells Ryan Gosling's character, Steve, that he has been drinking the kool-aid. She is amazed that Steve really believes in Governor Morris and tells him to just wait......wait til he is disappointed. This movie is both exciting (Clooney) and sad. It's about morality, the choices people make, and it asks, "at what price do you sell your soul?" Go see it~

Rules for Halloween for Seniors

by Dianne

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask,' And you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, 'Trick or...' And you can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3.  You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.


And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...
*
*
*
*
*
1. You keep having to go home to pee.


No matter,  have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.

~ Brandy (You're A Fine Girl) ~

by Tina~in_ut

~ Caption of the Day ~

by Tina~in_ut

~ How Do You Know You are a Teacher? ~

by Tina~in_ut

- You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

- You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.

- You walk into a store and hear the words "It’s Ms./Mr.________" and know you have been spotted.

- You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.

- You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.

- You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.

- You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

- You believe the teachers’ lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.

- You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 9 to 3 and have summers off."

- You believe chocolate is a food group.

- You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.

- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

- You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.

- You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

- You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

- You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

- You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!

- You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."

- You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.

- You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.

…. and finally ….

- You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.

~ Make Women Happy – Demerit Point System Explained ~

by Tina~in_ut

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

* You make the bed ….. +1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows ….. 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets ….. -1
* You leave the toilet seat up ….. -5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty ….. 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex ….. -1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom ….. -2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings ….. +5
* in the snow ….. +8
* but return with beer ….. -5
* and no liners ….. -25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night ….. 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing ….. 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something ….. +5
* You pummel it with a six iron ….. +10
* It’s her cat ….. -40

HER BIRTHDAY

* You take her out to dinner ….. 0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar ….. +1
* Okay, it is a sports bar ….. -2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night ….. -3
* It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ….. -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

* Go with a pal ….. +5
* The pal is happily married ….. +4
* Or frighteningly single ….. -7
* And he drives a Ferrari ….. -10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED) ….. -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

* You take her to a movie ….. +2
* You take her to a movie she likes ….. +4
* You take her to a movie you hate ….. +6
* You take her to a movie you like ….. -2
* It’s called Death Cop 3 ….. -3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans ….. -9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ….. -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

* You develop a noticeable pot belly ….. -15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and exercise to get rid of it ….. +10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ….. -30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” ….. -800

THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)

She asks, “Do I look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding ….. -10
* You reply, “Where?” ….. -35
* Any other response ….. -20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression ….. 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes ….. +5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV ….. +100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep ….. -200

Inappropriate Sticker Placement

by Shirley

~ Flash Mob at Copenhagen Central Station ~

by Tina~in_ut

On May 2, 2011, the Copenhagen Philharmonic amazed commuters at the Copenhagen Central Train Station, as they created a kind of orchestral "flash mob" – performing Ravel's famed Bolero, with the musicians gradually assembling in place as the work progresses. The video – which shows not only the assembling orchestra, but also the delighted faces of the commuters – has generated overwhelming interest, and indeed has exceeded the orchestra’s expectations. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

~ The Rosie Show ~

by Tina~in_ut

The Rosie Show starts today! I'm excited and a little nervous to see how she does. I'd like the show to be like her old one, but I know it can't be. I'll have to wait and see. Anyone else going to watch?

~ It's Not Unusual ~

by Tina~in_ut

Some New Maxines

by Sac Barb

~ New Car ~

by Tina~in_ut

The car pictured is a Mercedes Maybach...
Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof. 
The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passengers preference.

NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET 
BACK TO WORK! (BE HAPPY 
WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT)!