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Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Negative People

by Dianne

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:  
 
"Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome .  So, how are you getting there?" 

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"  
 
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's  Tiber River called Teste."   

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
 

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome . 
 
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..  And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" 

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." 
 

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.  
 
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."  

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
  

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

211 comments:

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Just_Lin said...

Dianne No, I haven't made it to see that movie yet but our plan is to go tomorrow after dinner. I have a feeling it will be one of the nominees for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. That show is always more fun to watch when I've seen some of the movies.

What? Did you get snow already? Yikes! It's feeling like fall here these days. My tree in the front yard has been shedding a lot of it's colorful leaves and the redwood tree in the back is shedding, too. I don't know what you call the stuff that fall from the redwood tree. They aren't really leaves are they? Are they fronds? Anyway, my back yard is covered with them now. It's an evergreen so doesn't go bald but some of it turns rust colored and that's what sheds everywhere.

I'm so glad that Kayla's new guy is nice. Now that he broke the ice by meeting you all at Kayla's birthday dinner, he'll probably feel more comfortable attending family things with her. Has she met his parents?

Just_Lin said...

Mary Your surgery used to seem so far away and now it seems to be coming up fast. It's probably not soon enough for your liking, though.

You do so much for your family they probably think they're living at a 5 star hotel. I think you should prepare them for reality when you are laid up. Soup and sandwiches may be the order of the day. No one will starve. On weekends, I bet Matthew could follow many slow cooker recipes and make you all a nice dinner. Who knows. He might actually enjoy it when he sees he can be successful at it. As for Jim.....Well, you know what they say about old dogs. LOL

That's great that you are getting used to the hearing aid. It sounds like it is a really, really good one with lots of bells and whistles. You know it's working when you are no longer yelling. I used to have a deaf cat and he had a god-awful loud cry. It sounded like he thought he was yelling from the bottom of a deep well.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Miss Saigon was not one of my favorites, either. I hadn't known anything about the story except for the setting. Also, there was no memorable music, in my opinion. I think my favorite of all time was Evita. I loved all of it; the story, the clever staging, the music. I would love to see a stage production of South Pacific.

The kitties are going to take a long time to accept this new situation. That goes for yours and his. Hopefully, they will eventually tolerate each other's presence. It's hard when everyone is already an adult and not a kitten.

So, has your life changed since your son moved back in? Having someone share cooking duties would be nice, for sure.





Just_Lin said...

We haven't had a second page of comments for a long, long time. I hope you all find me over here.

Mary/MI said...

I found you JustLin!
I decided to keep the hearing aids. Without ins they would almost be $8,000! I am paying 1,100. I got a $100 discount for mentioning my friend's name, who referred me. They use a lot of batteries, but those are free. I just stop by their office and pick up a box when I run out.The box hold 80 batteries. I use about two batteries per week.

LOL, @ 5 star restaurant! I finished the burritos and now making choc. chip sheet cake.
Matthew cooks light things like breakfast,hamburgers and sandwiches. So I will be fine.
I am getting nervous! I got news the other day that one of my friends had to have her leg amputated. She has diabetes, so I am assuming that is the reason. I feel so bad for her. She is in her early 50s and a nurse. It took me a while to find the right "thinking of you card" You would be surprised how hard. Many would mention things like "you will be back on your feet soon", or Things will be back the way they were etc.
I am glad I always take the time to read the whole card!

Mary/MI said...

Turn the page...we are over there--------->

Dianne said...

Hello. I see you guys

Mary/MI said...

LOL, my last post must have been automatically transferred from the last pg.

Jim went to his heart specialist today for check-up. He is still concerned about the small aneurysm in his head. He told him smoking could make it grow. Jim said he smoked a couple of cigs on his way home! :(
They drew blood and has to go in for some kind of test that requires some kind of dye in his system.

Dianne, thanks so much for the pre-surgery card :) Crazy how they have cards for that!
It has been cold here. I think it is going to stay that way :(
I took care of all they outdoor furniture,covered the grill, pulled the tomato plants and stored the cages. I even replaced Queenie's tarp on her outdoor pen. She will be coming in soon. Right now she has a house with a bed of straw and a heat lamp.

Got my hair did today and have a Chiro appt. tomorrow for my neck.
Hope you are all doing ok!

Dianne said...

Hi....you’re welcome, Mary for the card. I get my cards from a card place online and they have the cutest cards for everything. My friend just went through a major bathroom remodel and I even found a cute card specifically for it too. I enjoy sending cards and notes to people and always hope they enjoy them. It is hard to pick out a card for someone that is suffering. I read them over and over too. I once almost sent a sorry for the loss of your pet to someone that lost a family member! That would have been terrible. It’s fun to get real mail. Better get that pedi before surgery too! Sounds like you are getting things in order. I just heard from a cousin that she got both knees done last week. She didn’t want to go through two recoveries. Whew! Dang that Jim won’t quit smoking. You’d think when health was specifically mentioned to him from dr about the aneurysm it would scare him to quit.

JL, how did you like the movie? I too think it will be nominated for awards. I really liked it.

Barb, how are things going in your house? I know you have a houseful of people and cats.

We took my sister in law out for her birthday tonight for Italian food. I was good and stopped half way through my meal and boxed it up. I had a salad for lunch since I knew I was going to dinner. I gained point six at ww today. It would be nice to have a loss for a change especially before we go on vacation in a few weeks.


Just_Lin said...

Dianne I still haven't seen the movie, darn it! Jane and I planned to go Tuesday but she ended up taking her husband to the ER that morning as he was having tightness in neck and chest and discomfort down his arm. After having another episode while there, they admitted him and he had an angioplasty yesterday and they put a stent in one of his main arteries. He's doing good now and is probably going to come home today. While he was in recovery, Jane and I went to dinner and had a much needed drink. Maybe next week we will actually make it to the theater.

I almost choked on my coffee when I read that you almost sent a "loss of your pet" card to someone who lost a family member. OMG, that would have been the biggest faux pas ever!

Just_Lin said...

Mary I had to laugh when I saw your attempt to tell the gals that we were on this page. Page one only lets you enter 200 comments and that's it. Everything goes to page 2 after that.

Your knee surgery is coming up fast. You are having it on my daughter's birthday. I couldn't remember when the date was but then I saw you wrote it on a FB comment. I will be going to visit my brother again during Thanksgiving but this time only for one week instead of three that I did the last two years when he was getting his knee operations. I'm glad he only has two knees. LOL

I'm glad you are keeping the hearing aids. It seems they are extra good ones so the likelihood that you will actually use them is excellent.

I realize there is a new blog but I didn't feel like going there until I responded here.

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