~ Happy Halloween ~

 

~ September ~

 

When God Sends Help, Don't Ask Questions!

 by Dianne

Pole Dancing

 by Dianne

The teacher graded it and the child took it home. 

She returned to school the next day with the following note: 

Dear Ms. Davis, 

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration. 

It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. 
 
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much 

money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel. 

Sincerely, 

Mrs. Harrington

~ Happy Valentine's Day ~

 

The Period

 by Dianne

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

 

The first little boy called upon, walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

 

Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said the little boy.

 

"Well, I can see that." She said, "But what is so exciting about a period?"

 

"Darned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my 16-year-old sister was missing one, Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the guy next door shot himself."

Resurrection Question

 by Dianne

While the priest was presenting a children's sermon.   

he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. 

 

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial,

but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a 

congregation can also be very dangerous.

In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

 

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if

    you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are

           supposed to call the doctor." It took ten minutes for the congregation

to settle down enough for the service to continue!