by Dianne
A lonely
widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in
the local paper that read:
“HUSBAND
WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, RUN AROUND ON ME, AND
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.”
On the
second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to
see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old
woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just
look at you . . . you have no legs!"
The old
man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" She snorted.
"You
don't have any arms either!"
Again, the
old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised
an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed???"
The old
man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell,
didn't I?"
227 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 227 of 227Mary, just read about your aunt on FB. Is this the aunt you just went to visit? I'm really sorry
SLIN - Is this trip for your Class Reunion?
DIANNE - Should be an epic game. May the best team win!!!
Best go hoist and rinse. Day 5 of 6 in a row!!!
HOdi Yes, this trip is primarily for my 50 year high school reunion. I will be staying with and visiting my brother, too.
Dianne I got a number of things done yesterday but there's more to go. Some of it is just stuff I want to get done around here before I take off, some things like getting my nails done I will do the day before I leave. I don't go until Wednesday and am taking my dog up to my daughter's on Monday so she will be staying with her while I'm gone.
Dianne I'm glad you got some kind your biopsy results back. Have you talked to your primary about the confusion regarding the iron pills? And how's that scratch on your hand? My skin is so thin now that I bruise super easy. I'm hoping the big one on my left forearm is totally gone by my high school reunion on the 7th. It's looking a whole lot better now that it was right after the dog smacked me with her ball.
I had a fun lunch yesterday with a former high school classmate. She only lives at the other end of the county so there's no real reason why we don't get together more often. We met half way down the coast and ate at a little place right by the ocean. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside. It was really nice to catch up. Of course I will see her at the upcoming reunion, too. We promised each other to be better at getting together. I hope we do.
JL, you do need to get together more with your friend...plus it gets you out and about. My hand is getting smaller but still red and gross looking. I put Vaseline on it a few times a day per dr orders. Yes, I called primary and she said just take one a day so that's what I'll do. I go back to dentist on Monday to get this broken bridge finally out and a new one impression taken. They are going to put some metal in this one to make it stronger. I hope it works.
You lunch by the ocean sounds beautiful. It was a beautiful day here and night too. We might get some snow on Thursday but 70's tomorrow. We went to my sons tonight and had such a nice time around the kids and their friends. I always like my DIL when I'm there but then when I'm not she gets strange. Tomorrow night we go to my middle grandsons championship game. We will be missing theBronco/Green Bay game so will have to peek at my phone.
Everyone must be busy tonight. I think Mary had a gig for the evening
Dianne Were there many tricker-or-treaters at your son's? I had about 30 and I had enough candy for 3 times that many and that's giving out 3 candies to each kid. Last year I had a lot more kids come by than this year. I wonder if I can take the unopened bags of candy back to the store. I certainly don't want it here although the only ones that tempt me are the Snickers.
Tina in Ut Happy Birthday! I hope you're having fun today.
Hellooooo.
I am waiting for Dean and family to pick me up for my birthday celebration dinner. We are going to Maggiano's. I hope to bring home some leftovers because they serve very generous portions.
I had zero kids for trick or treat which has been the pattern for the last 3-4 years. It's a good thing no one rang my bell because I didn't buy any candy. I didn't want to be responsible for having to eat the leftover candy. I had some $1 bills ready just in case.
I hope everyone is having a good Sunday. It has been raining here and everyone is happy. I hope it lasts all day and night!
Happy 50th TINA!!
It's halftime. Rough first half for the Packers. I hope they can re-group and bring it in the 2nd half.
Well, hello!! Good game Jodi but I have to say I had my orange tassels swinging and they worked. I'll get my green ones back on next week. Jodi, the news said there was a lot of green in our stadium tonight. Our weather was perfect tonight too. My other do it ent is my grandson won their championship game tonight! He's the quarterback and we've been in second place for three years. This is the team my son coaches too. They were all so excited and it was a good fun game.
Barb, I hope you had a great birthday dinner. Did you bring some home? You are like me...celebrating for a long time!!
JL, my son has kids trick or treating last night but not near as many as usual. I wouldn't take your candy back. I guess that's one of my problems.
Mary, how was last night?
Happy Birthday Tina. Are you really 50?
DIANNE - Congrats on the win. I fell asleep during the 2nd half.
Barb My neighbor across the street brought me a dish of homemade eggplant parmigiana last night. OMG! I think it is the best I have ever tasted! I have enough leftover for tonight and Tuesday night, too.
I woke up today to real rain. Yay! It was great to just lay in the bed and listen to it for a few minutes. I had to get up and get moving, though, as today is the day I take the dog to American Canyon to stay with my daughter when I go to SoCal. Also, I'll be taking her out for her birthday lunch today. I hope the rain lightens up by the time I will be driving on the freeways and over the Bay Bridge. People forget how to drive when it rains.
HOdi Your Packers are certainly doing much better than my 49ers. The Niners suck this year, big time. Too many key people out, new coach, and other various problems. That's the way it goes sometimes.
Dianne I did take the two unopened bags back. I have some bags still here because I had opened them. I need to have fewer choices for the kids next year so I don't end up opening different bags at once.
Congrats to your son and grandson. How exciting for them to make it to being number 1 this year.
The weirdest thing just happened. I opened up the blog and saw the comment I posted yesterday and all of a sudden it disappeared! Did anyone else post yesterday?
Anyway, Happy belated Birthday Tina.
I celebrated my birthday with the family last night at Maggiano's. I like that place and they have a bye one-get-one for $12.95 on the permanent menu, so it doesn't cost Dean too much.
It rained almost all night and most of today. We got a flash flood warning for the areas where the bad fires were. The burn scars don't allow the water to be absorbed so this rain is a mixed blessing. Mother Nature is very pissed!
Ha, I found you! I swear if I see " A lonely widow, age 70"" one more time Dianne!!
Dianne, yes, that was the Aunt that I had recently visited. I am so glad I did! I won't be attending the funeral because it will be way up North in Travers City where she and her husband retired and where he is buried.
JustL, I had the best visual when you described your lunch by the ocean! How lucky you are to live so near it.
SacBarb, we haven't had Trick or treaters here in years. Not since all the kids near us got too old to go out. We keep a little candy just in case. My son is usually here while we do our DJing.
On the "GIG"
It was a fun night .As always there is at least one drunk, and as always it's usually a woman lol! They are the worst! This one was dressed as "Madge" (I think that's her name)the weird Insurance gal in the tv commercial. She was right in my face for some reason. I mentioned it to the gal that pays me for the gig. She said "oh, that's my DIL, she is being an ass-hole!" I was embarrassed!. Oh well, she was nice about it, and the "Madge" suddenly disappeared lol!!
OOPS, I forgot to say hi to Hodi!!!
HI HODI!!!!
SLIN - Yay for real rain!! And I saw on the news that they benched Kaepernick. Ouch!!! Enjoy your trip pretty lady ♥
BARB - Love it when restaurants have good specials like that!!
MARY - HI!!!!!
BARB - P.s. When I open the blog, it takes me to the first page. I don't think your comment disappeared. Click newest and look up!!! lol!
We've been blessed with some beautiful weather this week!!! We had a high of 74* yesterday, and will see 70's again today. Unheard of this time of year in Wisconsin!!!
Have a great day HOoters ♥
New blog.
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