It's Caturday

by Bonachichi

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by Bonachichi

I don’t know why I think this will make a good blog. It’s an advert. But it’s hilarious!

Don't Cut Government Spending

by Bonachichi

I keep seeing posts on FB about how cutting government spending is a bad thing. Do people take the time to look further than the journalistic propaganda in order to see whether what’s being shoved down your throats is true or false? Below is a list of government agencies, funded by California taxpayers. Many of them overlap. Many are special interest only. Many don’t really do anything. I for one, am tired of paying for something that exists yet does nothing. I’m not saying we don’t need some of them, but what’s the difference between the California Bay-Delta Authority and the California Bay-Delta Office? Why are California Business Agency, California Business Investment Services (CalBIS), California Business Permit Information (CalGOLD) and California Business Portal separate entities? Read the list. I dare you. If you don’t live and pay taxes in California, no worries. Every state has agencies like these. And the Fed has even more.



California Academic Performance Index (API) * California Access for Infants and Mothers * California Acupuncture Board * California Administrative Office of the Courts * California Adoptions Branch * California African American Museum * California Agricultural Export Program * California Agricultural Labor Relations Board * California Agricultural Statistics Service * California Air Resources Board (CARB) * California Allocation Board * California Alternative Energy and Advanced Transportation Financing Authority * California Animal Health and Food Safety Services * California Anti-Terrorism Information Center * California Apprenticeship Council * California Arbitration Certification Program * California Architects Board * California Area VI Developmental Disabilities Board * California Arts Council * California Asian Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus * California Assembly Democratic Caucus * California Assembly Republican Caucus * California Athletic Commission * California Attorney General * California Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California Bay-Delta Authority * California Bay-Delta Office * California Biodiversity Council * California Board for Geologists and Geophysicists * California Board for Professional Engineers and Land Surveyors * California Board of Accountancy * California Board of Barbering and Cosmetology * California Board of Behavioral Sciences * California Board of Chiropractic Examiners * California Board of Equalization (BOE) * California Board of Forestry and Fire Protection * California Board of Guide Dogs for the Blind * California Board of Occupational Therapy * California Board of Optometry * California Board of Pharmacy * California Board of Podiatric Medicine * California Board of Prison Terms * California Board of Psychology * California Board of Registered Nursing * California Board of Trustees * California Board of Vocational Nursing and Psychiatric Technicians * Cal! Ifornia Braille and Talking Book Library * California Building Standards Commission * California Bureau for Private Postsecondary and Vocational Education * California Bureau of Automotive Repair * California Bureau of Electronic and Appliance Repair * California Bureau of Home Furnishings and Thermal Insulation * California Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine * California Bureau of Security and Investigative Services * California Bureau of State Audits * California Business Agency * California Business Investment Services (CalBIS) * California Business Permit Information (CalGOLD) * California Business Portal * California Business, Transportation and Housing Agency * California Cal Grants * California CalJOBS * California Cal-Learn Program * California CalVet Home Loan Program * California Career Resource Network * California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau * California Center for Analytical Chemistry * California Center for Distributed Learning * California Center for Teaching Careers (Teach California) * California Chancellors Office * California Charter Schools * California Children and Families Commission * California Children and Family Services Division * California Citizens Compensation Commission * California Civil Rights Bureau * California Coastal Commission * California Coastal Conservancy * California Code of Regulations * California Collaborative Projects with UC Davis * California Commission for Jobs and Economic Growth * California Commission on Aging * California Commission on Health and Safety and Workers Compensation * California Commission on Judicial Performance * California Commission on State Mandates * California Commission on Status of Women * California Commission on Teacher Credentialing * California Commission on the Status of Women * California Committee on Dental Auxiliaries * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office, Junior Colleges * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office * California Complaint Mediation Program * California Conservation Corps * California Constitution R! Evision Commission * California Consumer Hotline * California Consumer Information Center * California Consumer Information * California Consumer Services Division * California Consumers and Families Agency * California Contractors State License Board * California Corrections Standards Authority * California Council for the Humanities * California Council on Criminal Justice * California Council on Developmental Disabilities * California Court Reporters Board * California Courts of Appeal * California Crime and Violence Prevention Center * California Criminal Justice Statistics Center * California Criminalist Institute Forensic Library * California CSGnet Network Management * California Cultural and Historical Endowment * California Cultural Resources Division * California Curriculum and Instructional Leadership Branch * California Data Exchange Center * California Data Management Division * California Debt and Investment Advisory Commission * California Delta Protection Commission * California Democratic Caucus * California Demographic Research Unit * California Dental Auxiliaries * California Department of Aging * California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Appeals Board * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control * California Department of Boating and Waterways (Cal Boating) * California Department of Child Support Services (CDCSS) * California Department of Community Services and Development * California Department of Conservation * California Department of Consumer Affairs * California Department of Corporations * California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation * California Department of Developmental Services * California Department of Education * California Department of Fair Employment and Housing * California Department of Finance * California Department of Financial Institutions * California Department of Fish and Game * California Department of Food and Agriculture * California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CD! F) * California Department of General Services * California Department of General Services, Office of State Publishing * California Department of Health Care Services * California Department of Housing and Community Development * California Department of Industrial Relations (DIR) * California Department of Insurance * California Department of Justice Firearms Division * California Department of Justice Opinion Unit * California Department of Justice, Consumer Information, Public Inquiry Unit * California Department of Justice * California Department of Managed Health Care * California Department of Mental Health * California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) * California Department of Personnel Administration * California Department of Pesticide Regulation * California Department of Public Health * California Department of Real Estate * California Department of Rehabilitation * California Department of Social Services Adoptions Branch * California Department of Social Services * California Department of Technology Services Training Center (DTSTC) * California Department of Technology Services (DTS) * California Department of Toxic Substances Control * California Department of Transportation (Caltrans) * California Department of Veterans Affairs (CalVets) * California Department of Water Resources * California Departmento de Vehiculos Motorizados * California Digital Library * California Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Division of Apprenticeship Standards * California Division of Codes and Standards * California Division of Communicable Disease Control * California Division of Engineering * California Division of Environmental and Occupational Disease Control * California Division of Gambling Control * California Division of Housing Policy Development * California Division of Labor Standards Enforcement * California Division of Labor Statistics and Research * California Division of Land and Right of Way * California Division of Land Resource Protection * California Divisi! on of Law Enforcement General Library * California Division of Measurement Standards * California Division of Mines and Geology * California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (Cal/OSHA) * California Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources * California Division of Planning and Local Assistance * California Division of Recycling * California Division of Safety of Dams * California Division of the State Architect * California Division of Tourism * California Division of Workers Compensation Medical Unit * California Division of Workers Compensation * California Economic Assistance, Business and Community Resources * California Economic Strategy Panel * California Education and Training Agency * California Education Audit Appeals Panel * California Educational Facilities Authority * California Elections Division * California Electricity Oversight Board * California Emergency Management Agency * California Emergency Medical Services Authority * California Employment Development Department (EDD) * California Employment Information State Jobs * California Employment Training Panel * California Energy Commission * California Environment and Natural Resources Agency * California Environmental Protection Agency (Cal/EPA) * California Environmental Resources Evaluation System (CERES) * California Executive Office * California Export Laboratory Services * California Exposition and State Fair (Cal Expo) * California Fair Political Practices Commission * California Fairs and Expositions Division * California Film Commission * California Fire and Resource Assessment Program * California Firearms Division * California Fiscal Services * California Fish and Game Commission * California Fisheries Program Branch * California Floodplain Management * California Foster Youth Help * California Franchise Tax Board (FTB) * California Fraud Division * California Gambling Control Commission * California Geographic Information Systems Council (GIS) * California Geological Survey * California Government Claims and Victim Compe! nsation Board * California Governors Committee for Employment of Disabled Persons * California Governors Mentoring Partnership * California Governors Office of Emergency Services * California Governors Office of Homeland Security * California Governors Office of Planning and Research * California Governors Office * California Grant and Enterprise Zone Programs HCD Loan * California Health and Human Services Agency * California Health and Safety Agency * California Healthy Families Program * California Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau * California High-Speed Rail Authority * California Highway Patrol (CHP) * California History and Culture Agency * California Horse Racing Board * California Housing Finance Agency * California Indoor Air Quality Program * California Industrial Development Financing Advisory Commission * California Industrial Welfare Commission * California InFoPeople * California Information Center for the Environment * California Infrastructure and Economic Development Bank (I-Bank) * California Inspection Services * California Institute for County Government * California Institute for Education Reform * California Integrated Waste Management Board * California Interagency Ecological Program * California Job Service * California Junta Estatal de Personal * California Labor and Employment Agency * California Labor and Workforce Development Agency * California Labor Market Information Division * California Land Use Planning Information Network (LUPIN) * California Lands Commission * California Landscape Architects Technical Committee * California Latino Legislative Caucus * California Law Enforcement Branch * California Law Enforcement General Library * California Law Revision Commission * California Legislative Analyst's Office * California Legislative Black Caucus * California Legislative Counsel * California Legislative Division * California Legislative Information * California Legislative Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Caucus * California Legislature Internet Caucus * California Lib! rary De velopment Services * California License and Revenue Branch * California Major Risk Medical Insurance Program * California Managed Risk Medical Insurance Board * California Maritime Academy * California Marketing Services * California Measurement Standards * California Medical Assistance Commission * California Medical Care Services * California Military Department * California Mining and Geology Board * California Museum for History, Women, and the Arts * California Museum Resource Center * California National Guard * California Native American Heritage Commission * California Natural Community Conservation Planning Program * California New Motor Vehicle Board * California Nursing Home Administrator Program * California Occupational Safety and Health Appeals Board * California Occupational Safety and Health Standards Board * California Ocean Resources Management Program * California Office of Administrative Hearings * California Office of Administrative Law * California Office of AIDS * California Office of Binational Border Health * California Office of Child Abuse Prevention * California Office of Deaf Access * California Office of Emergency Services (OES) * California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment * California Office of Fiscal Services * California Office of Fleet Administration * California Office of Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Implementation (CalOHI) * California Office of Historic Preservation * California Office of Homeland Security * California Office of Human Resources * California Office of Legal Services * California Office of Legislation * California Office of Lieutenant Governor * California Office of Military and Aerospace Support * California Office of Mine Reclamation * California Office of Natural Resource Education * California Office of Privacy Protection * California Office of Public School Construction * California Office of Real Estate Appraisers * California Office of Risk and Insurance Management * California Office of Services to! the Blind * California Office of Spill Prevention and Response * California Office of State Publishing (OSP) * California Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development * California Office of Systems Integration * California Office of the Inspector General * California Office of the Ombudsman * California Office of the Patient Advocate * California Office of the President * California Office of the Secretary for Education * California Office of the State Fire Marshal * California Office of the State Public Defender * California Office of Traffic Safety * California Office of Vital Records * California Online Directory * California Operations Control Office * California Opinion Unit * California Outreach and Technical Assistance Network (OTAN) * California Park and Recreation Commission * California Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST) * California Performance Review (CPR) * California Permit Information for Business (CalGOLD) * California Physical Therapy Board * California Physician Assistant Committee * California Plant Health and Pest Prevention Services * California Policy and Evaluation Division * California Political Reform Division * California Pollution Control Financing Authority * California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo * California Postsecondary Education Commission * California Prevention Services * California Primary Care and Family Health * California Prison Industry Authority * California Procurement Division * California Public Employees Retirement System (CalPERS) * California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB) * California Public Utilities Commission (PUC) * California Real Estate Services Division * California Refugee Programs Branch * California Regional Water Quality Control Boards * California Registered Veterinary Technician Committee * California Registrar of Charitable Trusts * California Republican Caucus * California Research and Development Division * California Research Bureau * California Resources Agency * California Respiratory Care Board * Cali! fornia Rivers Assessment * California Rural Health Policy Council * California Safe Schools * California San Francisco Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California San Gabriel and Lower Los Angeles Rivers and Mountains Conservancy * California San Joaquin River Conservancy * California School to Career * California Science Center * California Scripps Institution of Oceanography * California Secretary of State Business Portal * California Secretary of State * California Seismic Safety Commission * California Self Insurance Plans (SIP) * California Senate Office of Research * California Small Business and Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Small Business Development Center Program * California Smart Growth Caucus * California Smog Check Information Center * California Spatial Information Library * California Special Education Division * California Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology Board * California Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) * California Standards and Assessment Division * California State Administrative Manual (SAM) * California State Allocation Board * California State and Consumer Services Agency * California State Architect * California State Archives * California State Assembly * California State Association of Counties (CSAC) * California State Board of Education * California State Board of Food and Agriculture *California Office of the Chief Information Officer (OCIO) * California State Children's Trust Fund * California State Compensation Insurance Fund * California State Contracts Register Program * California State Contracts Register * California State Controller * California State Council on Developmental Disabilities (SCDD) * California State Disability Insurance (SDI) * California State Fair (Cal Expo) * California State Jobs Employment Information * California State Lands Commission * California State Legislative Portal * California State Legislature * California State Library Catalog * California State Library Services Bureau * C! alifornia State Library * California State Lottery * California State Mediation and Conciliation Service * California State Mining and Geology Board * California State Park and Recreation Commission * California State Parks * California State Personnel Board * California State Polytechnic University, Pomona * California State Railroad Museum * California State Science Fair * California State Senate * California State Summer School for Mathematics and Science (COSMOS) * California State Summer School for the Arts * California State Superintendent of Public Instruction * California State Teachers Retirement System (CalSTRS) * California State Treasurer * California State University Center for Distributed Learning * California State University, Bakersfield * California State University, Channel Islands * California State University, Chico * California State University, Dominguez Hills * California State University, East Bay * California State University, Fresno * California State University, Fullerton * California State University, Long Beach * California State University, Los Angeles * California State University, Monterey Bay * California State University, Northridge * California State University, Sacramento * California State University, San Bernardino * California State University, San Marcos * California State University, Stanislaus * California State University (CSU) * California State Water Project Analysis Office * California State Water Project * California State Water Resources Control Board * California Structural Pest Control Board * California Student Aid Commission * California Superintendent of Public Instruction * California Superior Courts * California Tahoe Conservancy * California Task Force on Culturally and Linguistically Competent Physicians and Dentists * California Tax Information Center * California Technology and Administration Branch Finance * California Telecommunications Division * California Telephone Medical Advice Services (TAMS) * California Transportation Commission * California Travel and Transportation Agency * California Unclaimed Property Program * California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board * California Unemployment Insurance Program * California Uniform Construction Cost Accounting Commission * California Veterans Board * California Veterans Memorial * California Veterinary Medical Board and Registered Veterinary Technician Examining Committee * California Veterinary Medical Board * California Victim Compensation and Government Claims Board * California Volunteers * California Voter Registration * California Water Commission * California Water Environment Association (COWPEA) * California Water Resources Control Board * California Welfare to Work Division * California Wetlands Information System * California Wildlife and Habitat Data Analysis Branch * California Wildlife Conservation Board * California Wildlife Programs Branch * California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) * California Workers Compensation Appeals Board * California Workforce and Labor Development Agency * California Workforce Investment Board * California Youth Authority (CYA) * Central Valley Flood Protection Board * Center for California Studies * Colorado River Board of California * Counting California * Dental Board of California * Health Insurance Plan of California (PacAdvantage) * Humboldt State University * Jobs with the State of California * Judicial Council of California * Learn California * Library of California * Lieutenant Governors Commission for One California * Little Hoover Commission (on California State Government Organization and Economy) * Medical Board of California * Medi-Cal * Osteopathic Medical Board of California * Physical Therapy Board of California * Regents of the University of California * San Diego State University * San Francisco State University * San Jose State University * Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy * State Bar of California * Supreme Court of California * Teach California * University of California * University of California, Berkeley * University of California, Davis * University of California, Hastings College of the Law * University of California, Irvine * University of California, Los Angeles * University of California, Merced * University of California, Riverside * University of California, San Diego * University of California, San Francisco * University of California, Santa Barbara * University of California, Santa Cruz * Veterans Home of California

Staff Weekend

by Bonachichi

This guy Michael makes a career out of annoying people. I don’t know how he keeps his job. It’s long, but I laughed out loud (not the cutie “lol”, but a real laugh) several times.

From: Thomas
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 9.06am
To: All Staff
Subject: Staff weekend

Sharon and I had a meeting on Friday to discuss doing one of those staff team building weekends. It's tax deductible and we can get a package deal with one near the river that looks nice with activities like yoga, canoeing, talent night, hiking and orienteering. It's 3 hours drive so if we leave Friday lunch time, we will get there by 4pm. The plan is to lock in the 25th to the 27th of this month so can everyone check their diaries and get back to me please?

TJ

From: Michael
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 9.34am
To: Thomas
Subject: Re: Staff weekend

Dear Thomas,
Although I am usually the first to embrace any excuse for absence from the workplace, my absence usually involves a direct correlation to the absence of people I work with. Spending several hours in a vehicle to participate in activities that involve being sweaty, wet, judged and then lost together, sounds pretty much the same as a normal week in the office. Will we be paid to attend?
Also, what is the difference between hiking and orienteering?

Regards, Michael.

From: Thomas
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 10.04am
To: Michael
Subject: Re: Re: Staff weekend

I think one is where you walk around and look at things and the other is where you have a compass. I don't know, google it. The point isn't what the activities are, it's that we do them together as a team. I knew you would be the first one to complain about this. Everybody else had a good time last year on the houseboat trip.

TJ

From: Michael
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 11.22am
To: Thomas
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

Dear Thomas,

When did I indicate that I had anything other than a fabulous time aboard the houseboat last year? I am the last to complain about anything. If I were on a television game show where points were awarded for complaining, my only complaint would be participating in a show that is clearly beyond my means of winning. At the end of the show, I would thank the host and say I had a wonderful time anyway.

My favourite part of the houseboat trip was when we were stuck on a sandbar for three days. Unable to radio for help due to your hair dryer usage draining the reserve batteries, you claimed yourself Captain and ordered me to swim ashore in search of a tall hill to climb with the hope of gaining mobile phone reception. It is not mutiny if the Captain cannot provide sufficient evidence to support his title, and besides, you refused to accept my title of Grand Admiral Emperor King of Everything the next day. My second favourite part of the trip was when you drank our entire week's alcohol supply on the first afternoon, fell from the bow, and yelled at me for not diving in to rescue you. In my defense, I was wearing new shoes and did give the area a quick visual check for anything of sufficient buoyancy to cast to you. Failing to locate a jumping castle, I felt the next best thing would be the ability to later provide an accurate eye-witness account. I would have left out the bits where you screamed, "Something touched my leg" and "Not like this. Not like this."

Just this morning I was sitting here thinking, while nodding randomly to portray interest in Sharon's dilemma regarding missing Farmville credits and watching Lucian pick his nose and wipe it under his desk, that the one thing missing in my life is a greater percentage of time spent with these people.

If I take a compass with me on the hike does that mean I can skip the orienteering? This would leave me with only yoga, canoeing and talent night to avoid participating in.

Regards, Michael.

From: Thomas
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 11.46am
To: Michael
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

You're such a liar and it wasn't 3 days. It was less than six hours and when I went into the water you didn't even get out of your chair. You threw a coke can at me and told me to hold on to it so don't pretend you tried to help. What's the point of you even going this year if you are not going to participate in the TEAM activities??

TJ

From: Michael
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 1.09pm
To: Thomas
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

Dear Thomas,

My point exactly. I knew you would understand. It might be interesting to see what talents the staff comes up with for talent night though. I have been here for years and haven't seen any. You and I could team up and present a re-enactment of last week's client presentation. I will play the female client and you can demonstrate the importance of remembering to do up your fly if you forego underpants. We could do a puppet show. All we would need is one those floppy skinned pug dogs peeking through a set of curtains while wearing a rusty-brown Brillo® pad collar.

Yoga is out of the question. Seeing the staff clad in Spandex, kicking and rolling around on the floor like a pod of neon walruses engaged in a territorial dispute, is not only something that once seen cannot be unseen, but is also quite possibly a breach of Occupational Health & Safety regulations. I don't care if there is a funky dance beat. I am fine with canoeing though. As long as I can sit in the back and pretend to paddle only when the person in the front turns around to complain about me not paddling; it might be a nice break from avoiding activities. If it is one of those little single-person kayaks, my non-paddling will have the added benefit of failing to keep up with the group. As you all pass around a bend in the river, I will have the opportunity, should I wish to take it after our day together, to roll the kayak and drown.

Also, what are the sleeping arrangements? I won't share with Lucian again after the last interstate client meeting. I was unable to sleep due to his controlled breathing and rustling. It was around 3am before I realized why he had placed the mini hair-conditioner bottle from the hotel bathroom on his side table and what the clicking and squeezing sounds were.

Will we be paid to attend?

Regards, Michael.

From: Thomas
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 1.18pm
To: Michael
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

The client didn't notice and if it had been you, I would have said something. And people don't wear spandex doing yoga, you're thinking of jazzercise. As a member of the team you are expected to be there and participate in ALL the activities. It's meant to be about the team spending time together outside of work establishing and reinforcing staff relationships. Relationships that create a friendly, trusting and balanced work environment.

TJ

From: Michael
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 1.46pm
To: Thomas
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

Dear Thomas,

By a surprising coincidence, best described as "hardly a", that is the exact text the staff training website has on its front page. Your engagement with this appropriated copy is particularly surprising as it is the same rhetoric we write everyday for clients.

I personally have no desire whatsoever to work in a balanced environment. A coordinated procedure of constant correction would be required and I doubt anybody here has practical fulcrum experience. If someone picked up a stapler from one side of the office, it would need to be replaced with something of equal weight. Probably a calculator and two pens. When you leave for lunch each day, we would have to place something in your chair for three hours and be able to shift it on your return. A system involving rope, pulleys and a mule would probably need to be devised. I hope you have thought this through as it sounds like a lot of team effort and that is the last thing any of us want around here.

Also, will we be paid to attend?  

Regards, Michael.

From: Thomas
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 2.03pm
To: Michael
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Staff weekend

No. You don't get paid to go on a staff weekend trip. It's like a bonus. It costs us money to do it. What a stupid question. Not counting food and travel, it is $3200 just to stay there and Sharon has budgeted another $500 for alcohol. If you are going to spend the entire trip being annoying just don't go.

TJ

From: Sharon
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 2.26pm
To: Michael
Subject: Hey

Hi,
Are you coming to the staff weekend event on the 25th? I am booking it today.

Thanks, Sharon.

From: Michael
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 2.41pm
To: Sharon
Subject: Re: Hey

Count me in Sharon. I for one am excited about the opportunity to spend the weekend together establishing and reinforcing staff relationships. Relationships that create a friendly, trusting and balanced work environment. On talent night, I am going to be a sexy space pirate. What are you going as?

From: Sharon
Date: Monday 14 March 2011 2.53pm
To: Michael
Subject: Re: Re: Hey

I don't know yet. Probably a magic trick or something.

Marriage and Horse Racing

by Bonachichi

CAUTION! Do not watch with kids around!!!

Who would have thought they were so much alike?

Who Is Your Ben?

by Bonachichi

Don’t tell anyone... I love this song. It’s so sweet and it says so much about friendship. Who is the Ben in your life and how did this person become “Ben”?

Mine and Ours

by Bonachichi

Just today, I realized I am no longer a “me”. I am a “we”. For some time, I’ve been living the single lifestyle. Even when I was “married”, I lived it. Everything I had was mine. Only mine. 

My guy is working in Hawaii at the moment. Hazard duty, for sure. He sent me a message asking where he could download some software he needed in a pinch. He’s done this before, using my accounts and I thought nothing of it. But today, when I told him where to get his goodies, I used the word, “our”. As in, “our account”.

What happened? When did I go from me to we? My to our? Neither one of us even thinks about where we’ll be a year from now, or even tomorrow. We’re both in it for the moment. No strings. My feelings haven’t changed significantly, not that I’ve realized anyway. But at some point, I let go of what’s only mine and began to share it.

Did any of you have this epiphany? The realization that all of a sudden, your life became shared with someone else? How did it come about?

Urgent Blog

by Bonachichi

Neither Blonde Nor Female....

by Bonachichi

These contractors are installing steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and anxious to go home. How long do you think it'll be before they realize where they parked their truck?

"Why DeeDee Invented Keyless Car Entry"

by Bonachichi

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The Customer Is Always Right

by Bonachichi

I have an acquaintance who is by far, the world’s #1 trouble-maker. He went to Function4Sports to buy waterproof gloves and they happily sold him an expensive pair.

Assuming the gloves would be waterproof for use in the snow (possibly due to being told "these are waterproof gloves for use in the snow") he was surprised to find they became soaked within seconds and bled black ink down his sleeves and all over the front of his jacket. When he tried to return the gloves, he was refused on the grounds that he’d worn them. This became a most unfortunate decision for Anton, as you can see from the e-mail exchange. What have you done when a merchant treats you unfairly? What would you like to do? Incidentally, the snowboard offer has been extended through March, so be sure to call for your free stuff.

From: anton@function4sports.com
Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am
To: xxxxx xxxxxx

Subject: Advertisement

I received the attached advertisement from a friend who follows you on twitter or something. If this was some kind of joke I fail to see the humor. We had over 5000 calls asking for free snowboards and I know you are responsible.

Physics is Phun

by Bonachichi

What, you think all geeks do is sit around polishing slide-rules and scotch-taping our glasses? Here is an educational glimpse of stress-relief in a physics lab. There will be a pop-quiz later.

Backin Up

by Bonachichi

This video is currently all the rage in Europe. It came out of the great American heartland and is from an interview with a woman who was in a gas station during a robbery. At first I thought, “Yeah, it’s that strange EU sense of humor”. But I came to like it, and her. What do you think?

An Oxy for the Morons

by Bonachichi

Sometimes I look at something and wonder how the human race survives. Other times I just laugh. Then once in a while, I do both.  What’s your favorite oxymoron or irony?

Hallelujah

by Bonachichi

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Escape

by Bonachichi

Sometimes work gets so frustrating, you just have to escape. I used to fret and worry, which just made it worse. Now I embrace the absurd. What do you do when work or life gets to you?

Funny, or Not?

by Bonachichi

The first time I saw this vid, I laughed. In fact, I laughed whilst watching it several times. What a knob! And a spoilt brat. Then I thought about the girl. Surely, she didn’t put this on YouTube herself? I saw some of the comments people were making about her. If I were her mother, I’d have gotten it taken down immediately. I hope the ending of this story isn’t a sad one. We all have moments like this girl displays, but they are usually secret, not broadcast to the world. So watch this video. Watch it a few times and see if your reaction changes from laughter (go ahead, cuz it’s funny) to compassion for the mistakes made by youth when their quest to stand out doesn’t go as planned.

Too Hot For Television

by Bonachichi

This advert was recently banned from a few television networks, being deemed as “too controversial”. It is an homage to a 1986 advert entitled, “The Deficit Trials”, also banned by major networks. In 1986, the U.S. national debt was around 2 trillion dollars. Today, it is rapidly approaching 14 trillion dollars. A seven hundred percent increase.

Three questions for today: Do you find this advert offensive or controversial? (why or why not?) Do you think it’s right to censor this advert in light of what we’ve just seen with political adverts? What do you think of the “Tax and Spend” solution to the economic crisis? There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions. Just opinions. Everyone’s got one, and everyone can voice it.

Master Asshole

by Bonachichi

This strongly resembles a typical day for me. What about you?

Corruption

by Bonachichi

My oldest daughter loved public school. She made friends easily and was an avid learner. That changed in the 4th grade, under the tutelage of a Ms. Jamie Brown. Jamie Brown was verbally abusive. Not just to my daughter, but to any child who dared to be noticed by her when she was in one of her moods. I saw it myself. My dad saw it. I believe what my daughter told me about Ms. Brown's behavior when parents weren't in the classroom. If there was a child who wasn't reduced to tears in that class, I'm unaware of it.

In March of that school year, I requested a meeting with the principal to discuss this. It just seemed so wrong! The principal, Mr. Ackerman, informed me that I was the problem. Nobody else had complained and Ms. Brown was in fact, a highly respected teacher throughout the school district. Oak Park Unified. I've no problem naming names.

A couple weeks later, I was talking with a few of the parents. I learned that of the 4 of us, 3 had complained about this very same teacher, and we had all been told we were the only ones with complaints. Describing me as "livid" is like describing a hurricane as "a few rain sprinkles". After some thought, I went back to Mr. Ackerman and called him out. I didn't want a big to-do, I just wanted my daughter out of that class. He refused my request. He refused my request to move her to a different school within the district. So I filed a complaint with the District Office and pulled her out of public school altogether.

As of a couple years ago, Jamie Brown was still teaching, still abusing students. What a shame. Teaching is such a noble profession, yet I've nothing but vile disrespect for it. Not because there aren't good teachers, but because I've seen a corrupt system that directly impacts our children. People like our beloved Jennifer are being thrown in the same heap of trash that the school administrators are diligently building. This helps nobody except those who have no business being around children in the first place.

There is talk about establishing an evaluation system for teachers in California. I don't know the deatila, other than some group doesn't want it. Of course they don't. How will they keep their dirty little secrets? California is one of the lowest ranking states for education. No wonder. The teachers are running amok, the administrators are busy ignoring problems and villifying parents.

These days, we are seeing corruption and back-room deals everywhere. From Rod Blagojevich to the city of Bell. Even our schools. Is there hope for the future?  Is your locale free from scandal?