YOU ASKED FOR IT!!

by Dianne

I thought I would write a little blog about having Tina for a roommate.  I sure hope this blog doesn't get edited (you all get my drift, right)?

I am not a person that really likes to share a room, so it took some convincing from Tina to even agree to this as I am very very shy.  Here was the story of the roommate:

The best thing was she brought a box of donuts just for us!!  She even brought me a little present...(probably for sharing a room with her) :)

When Tina gets ready for bed or in the morning, she went into the little tiny toilet/shower area and got dressed.  I am pretty sure she locked the door so I wouldn't try and get in (she said no but I heard the click). I think she would have propped a chair under the door if she could have fit one in there  with her.  I even mentioned in the morning it was rather steamy in there for her but her answer was "she likes to get dressed in steam".  .....whatever

Now it was time for bed.  Yes, there was that quiet deadly smell from time to time.  I knew that when deciding to room with her since I have been around her a couple of times.  Tina wears a slinky teddy to bed. It really made me uncomfortable but we are what we are as the saying goes.....She also brings her own pillow and it is shaped like a heart...again, whatever.

I was quietly reading a magazine on my bed when all of a sudden .....WHAM BAM....TINA jumps on top of me....nose to nose!!  Maybe it was just her way of kissing me goodnight or maybe it was just a Mexican thing.  One of my husband's used to do the same thing.

So...no naked pictures, but if want a teddy one....I could put it on FB or my farm.

All in all it was an experience to remember.  Any takers for the next Meet and Greet?

Dirt, Trees and Desert Stuff

by Bonachichi

I've just returned from spending a couple days camping with my oldest and dearest friend. After witnessing my recent meltdown in Copenhagen, you all know that I like to know where I am as well as "when" I am. Before going further, I would like to point out that my Copenhagen meltdown occurred whilst using all that modern technology had to offer, air taxis as well as some twisted connection to the Dutch Army, which I didn't even know was an actual thing. So why would I go to the middle of a desert, the location of which is still a mystery to me, with no internet, no phones and no daily showers, on purpose? I don't know. But I'm glad I did.

I knew I was in good hands. Everyone was an expert camper and they had lots of nifty toys to eat up the desert terrain, sandblast your teeth, and permanently tattoo desert dust in your arsecrack in one fell swoop. My girlfriend is married to a man who can do anything. Her kids, all girls age 13, 18 and 20 make me look like the village idiot of the off-road world. I had to be told that whilst sitting around the bonfire one night, my shoes were afire. I thought my feet were just toasty warm. No clue whatsoever that I was on fire.

My girlfriend's youngest daughter is a beautiful young woman named Corey. Corey isn't just beautiful. There is nothing that girl can't do better than any boy. I felt perfectly safe going for an off-road ride with her in her Uncle Clancy's contraption. It has a name, I just don't know what it is. This 13 year-old wonder had to show me how to strap myself into the harness. There was a roll-cage, which is always handy to have, an "oh-shit" bar as well as an "oh-shit" strap. Oh shit, what would I need those for?

Corey it turns out, is quite skilled in Gymkhana, which you Yanks call Drifting. If you've never done it before, it's unsettling because it feels as if you're hydro-planing. A good Gymkhana driver can handle the temporary loss of control and set the vehicle back on track. Corey managed to convince me within the first minute of our jaunt that she could handle Drifting. 

So there we were, racing cross the desert, laughing and having a blast. What are those branches doing right in front of the windshield? "Oh God! Don't tell Clancy I ran over a tree!" "Ran", "over" and "tree" are three words I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence. Ever. I was about to hear them two more times, during which we somehow managed to acquire a hood ornament that strongly resembled a big stick.

Then, Something happened. I'm not sure what, because I was busy "Oh-Shitting" myself. I heard Corey ask me if I was okay. Looking towards the sound of her voice, I looked to my left and "up". There she was, hanging sideways from her straps, just above me. I was laying comfortably on my right side, inside the car. Don't see that every day now, do you? We unstrapped ourselves and climbed out. 

We tried rolling the car back over, but it was too heavy for the two of us. Then we saw an RV coming down the dirt path. I ran out to the middle of the path and did a fairy dance, just in case the driver of the RV didn't think we were strange enough, in the middle of the desert with a car resting on its' side. He helped us roll the car back over; We had the insane thought that, "Maybe Clancy won't notice", so we came up with a half-baked alibi that didn't involve lying, but also didn't involve telling Clancy, "Sorry, Mate. We rolled your car."

Corey removed the recently-installed hood ornament, and we drove back to the campsite. The first thing Clancy did was ask, "What'd you do, roll the car?" Okay, so if you roll a car, someone's probably going to notice. I'm sure Corey and I will be spending some time as Clancy's personal slaves to make his toy pretty again, but it will be worth it. That was hands down, the most fun I had over the entire weekend. 

We've not heard the last of Corey, I'm sure. She will be the next Jolene Van Vugt. A beautiful daredevil, able to do things most boys just can't handle. I fell in love with Corey that afternoon. That 13 year-old woman handled herself better than most men I know with the possible exception of maybe Clancy and her dad. One thing's for sure; The word "failure" just doesn't exist for her.

~ Journey Medley ~

by Tina~in_ut

I can't get enough of these kids.  Since the season finale, I've listened to this CD over and over and nothing else.  It only has six songs on it and I love them all.  They are showing the season all over again on Thursday nights and I'm watching it again.  Watch it and fall in love with these misfits too~

Tell Him

by Shirley

Two female music icons singing together...it doesn't get any better than that! 

What's He Thinking?

by Bonachichi

This is a day for creative thinking. What do you think is going through this man's mind?

Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous

from your hostess today... DeeDee

Snakes, also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis), can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

An older couple I know had a lot of potted plants. During a recent thunderstorm watch with reported hail, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from possible damage.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had gotten acclimated, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) shuffled out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still, and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a thunderstorm watch for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her……

STRESS

by Dianne

Ouch, hurt foot

Go to doctor

Misdiagnosed

Back to Doctor...(still ouch)

PT suggested

Pt didn't work..sigh

Back to 2nd doctor

Surgery needed

Confined for two months

"must" makeover house, closet, etc.

Surgery not approved (2 days before surgery)

F@@@...call doctor

"be patient"....I AM THE PATIENT

Go have beer

Surgery approved...ouch

Mind thinking.....Well, at least it's not the dentist!!!

Do you ever have stress that you can do absolutely nothing about and drive yourself nuts over it or is it just me?