~ Financial Planning ~

by Tina~in_ut

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Wine - Good For A Smile

by Sac Barb

~ Remember When ~

by Tina~in_ut 

Indians Don't Use Saddles

by Mary/MI

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

 

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.

"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

Life from the seat of a tractor

by Dianne

An old Farmer's Words of Wisdom we could all live by.......

The last quote fits everyone...   


“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.” 


“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”


“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”


“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”


“Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.”


“Meanness don't just happen overnight.”


“Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.”


“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”


“It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.”


“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”


“Every path has a few puddles.”


“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”


“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”


“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.” 


“Don't judge folks by their relatives. 


“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”


“Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.”

 
“Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.”


“Timin' has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”


“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.” 


“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. 


“The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.” 


“Always drink upstream from the herd.”


“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”


“Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.”


“If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.”


“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.”

 
“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill  you.”

UNREAL REALITY TV!

by Maureen

Have you had the opportunity to watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? OMG. I know there is no reality in reality TV, but this SURREAL!

 

They refer to themselves as "red necks" and I can think of no more perfect adjective. They certainly do put the FUN in dysfunctional! One of their favorite things to do is go mudding...yes they play in the mud! And it seems they pretty much live on junk food and I do believe road kill!

 

They are a family of Mom, 4 daughters and Sugar Bear...Honey Boo Boo's daddy. I don't know if mom and Sugar Bear are married, but a few episodes ago they had their first date! And one of the teenage daughters is expecting her first daughter.

 

Of course one of my favorite family members is Glitzy, the pet piglet! Sadly they had to give her back to the breeder, but she was a cutie patootie. But, and there is a BIG but...they let that little piggy walk on the table and yep, you guessed it, it took a dump on their table! She did fit right in as she had a rather imposing flatulence issue, but then again so does Mom! And she doesn't hold back!

 

Honey Boo Boo is the star of the show. She is around 6 or 7 and an aspiring beauty queen. That is another issue I have and maybe another blog in itself. I do give the kid credit, she works hard. But the real defining quality of Honey is her attitude! And she has 'tude to spare! She can teach graduate level additude...with a shake of her head and 2 snaps at least!! She is quite endearing...in a red neck sort of way!!!

 

As dysfunctional as each and every one of them are, they love each other ginormously. They make it work!

In some odd way, they really do have strong family values.

 

If you haven't seen this yet, give it a try...you might like it. Or be repulsed!!

~ When Reindeers Attack! ~

by Tina~in_ut

My twins wanted me to see a video of a kid from their school. He was long boarding up in the mountains and gets taken out by a deer. The next day they wanted to show me that the video went viral. Take a look. That kid had to be really banged up~