by Sac Barb
Two blonds were going to
Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw
the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and
turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR
MOON
Two blonds living in
Oklahoma
were sitting on a bench talking, and one blond says to the other,
'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The
other blond turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????'
CAR
TROUBLE
A blond pushes her BMW
into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says, 'What's the
story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the
carburetor.'
She
asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING
TICKET
A police officer stops a blond for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys
would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER
WALK
There's this blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blond on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I
get to the other side?' The second blond looks
up the river, then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the
other side!'
AT THE
DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead
goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she
touched it.
'Impossible!' says
the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere
she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are
you?'Well, no' she said,
'I'm actually a blond.'
'I thought so,' the
doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A
highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blond behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL
OVER!'
'NO!' the blond yelled back, 'IT'S A
SCARF!'
BLOND ON THE
SUN
A
Russian, an American, and a Blondie were talking one
day.
The Russian said, 'We
were the first in space!'The American said, 'We
were the first on the moon!'The Blondie said, 'So
what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and
the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you
idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the blond replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!'
IN A
VACUUM
A blond was playing
Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and
she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She
thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY,
THE BLOND JOKE TO END ALL BLOND JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blond friend, who
had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The
blond responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named
Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch
dogs'!
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