Thursday, May 9, 2013

Old Testament Computing....

by Dianne

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the 
Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.


Jodi said...

Love this DIANNE!! So sharing this with my boss. He's a total pocket gay NERD!! Lol!!!

sacBarb said...

Dianne, So, this is how it all began?

sacBarb said...

Hey Jodi. What, exactly, is a "pocket gay NERD?" BTW, love your matching mani/pedi color. :)

Jodi said...

BARB - I call him my pocket gay, cuz he cute as hell + he's totally a computer nerd. His college degree is in IT!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi....having tummy problems today and don't have time for it between working, packing, hair, nails, pedi, etc. Hope it feels better soon.

Yes Barb, this is how it all began...:)

Jodi, I like your mani/pedi too.
BTW, you are pretty again today.

Tina~in_ut said...

haven't read any posts this week...but thanks for sending them, Di~

What I did read was that Lani passed away~ I'm so sorry, Linda~ She was the sweetest of ladies....and so dang funny~

Also, Happy belated Birthday, Linda~

Sitting at John Wayne airport...missing flights...prolly going back to parents house...ugh~

Di....don't fall off ship...mkay?~

Mary/MI said...

That was funny and I know the true birth of the internet lol!
Dianne, Just before my longer trips I used to get "tummy" troubles too! Just nerves I think. I had to force myself to slow down and you should!

I have been busy busy on the road all week! I have been meeting with the small town museum curators at my home town, getting ready for their summer opening. They want me and the author of my parents book to be there on opening day. I have loaned them some of my Dad's things from his shoe shop, and donated the old shoe repair sign he had in his window for many years.
I will take pics if I ever learn to operate my new camera. It should be easy, right? Wrong! The little shitty thing has too many fandagling options!

Tina,looks like you may be "laying over" @ your parents :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Tina, I'll try and keep my feet planted. I won't sing the Titanic song leaning on the bow...if I can control Louis!!!

I feel better tonight and was able to eat dinner without a problem...of course.

Mary, I have my camera all ready. It's just taking the pictures off the camera that I seem to have difficulty doing.