Thursday, September 25, 2014

On The Beach

by Dianne

Goldie, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a Florida beach
near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
"Hello, sir, how are you?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.
"Do you live around here?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, continuing to read. Goldie persisted.
"Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, the old gentleman threw his book down, jumped off his blanket
onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most
passionate ride of her life!
 As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"
 The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

Thursday, September 18, 2014

New York Cab Ride

by Dianne

A woman and her 10 year old son were riding in a taxi in New York. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.

"Mom " said the boy, "what are all these women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replies.

The taxi driver turns around and says "Geez, lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, kid! They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mom?"   

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"Most of them become taxi drivers!" she said.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Female Medical Exam

by Mary

During a woman's medical examination, her British doctor says,

"Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor.

"No! No! Leave your knickers on! Just stick out your tongue!"