Monday, April 30, 2012

~ Your Moment of Zen ~

by Tina~in_ut

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just get out of the way and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable: if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. (my favorite~)

9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

11. No one is listening until you fart.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Without You

by Zona

I've never been a fan of Usher..and I don't think I've ever even heard of David Guetta before..but it looks like both things are about to change cuz I really like this song..and I love the video.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Pregnant Lizard

by Dianne

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged."Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm!)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on.  I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . Ernie is a boy.  You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . Um . . . Masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just, just .. .. . Excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .... That ....I'm picturing you pulling on its .. .. . Its. . Teeny little . . "

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140. One cage: $50..Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.  Lizards lay eggs!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Investment Tips for 2012

by Dianne

 For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2012:

  1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
  2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
  3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
  4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
  5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
  6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
  7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
  And finally....
  9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

Monday, April 23, 2012

2012 Summer Olympics

by Zona

The 2012 Summer Olympics begin on July 27th in London..that's less than 100 days away. The Opening & Closing Ceremonies..Swimming..Diving and Gymnastics are my favorite events. Will you be watching? I know I will.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

~ Good Feeling ~

by Tina~in_ut

Some of you may not think this is your "cup of tea", but I enjoy it~ :D

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Jesus in the Bathroom

by Dianne

A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that
he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven!"

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart!"

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny replied, "Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?' "

Friday, April 20, 2012

~ Wisdom Teeth ~

by Tina~in_ut

I cannot tell you how much fun today was! I wasn't looking forward to getting up early on my day off, but it was worth it. The boy went first, but woke up second. He wouldn't budge! It was great because I could kiss him all I wanted. Can't do that when he's conscious.

The girl woke up when they moved her to her recovery chair.....probably because they plopped her in it. She kept telling us she was fine. But every person she called, and she called EVERYONE, got to hear a song from her. It was easy really....she called someone, we asked her what song they wanted to hear, she asked them, and if they didn't have a song.....we told her what to sing and she sang! I only wish I had a video of that. My brother's call was my favorite....I told him that was my gift to him.

This video makes me laugh because she kept telling us she was perfectly fine. It almost makes me wish we could drug the kids every so often and film.....just to amuse ourselves~ :D

I really wish the hubby had gotten this video right side up!!! It's hilarious! He wanted to dance. He wanted to dance from the second he woke up. He wanted to get out of his chair, but we wouldn't let him. SO....when he got out of the car, he started dancing (if you can call it that!). This is the kid that won't even goof around and dance at home. All the rest of us will, but not this kid....and here he is....outside even. And the hubby got it's not "hooking"'s "cooking"......must be some rap thing~

Thursday, April 19, 2012

~ Remembering Dick Clark ~

by Tina~in_ut

Host and TV producer Dick Clark has died. He was 82.

Spokesman Paul Shefrin said the "American Bandstand" creator had a heart attack Wednesday morning at Saint John's hospital in Santa Monica, a day after he was admitted for an outpatient procedure.

Long dubbed "the world's oldest teenager" because of his boyish appearance, Clark bridged the rebellious new music scene and traditional show business, and was equally comfortable whether chatting about music with Sam Cooke or bantering with Ed McMahon about TV bloopers. He thrived as the founder of Dick Clark Productions, supplying movies, game and music shows, beauty contests and more to TV. Among his credits: "The $25,000 Pyramid," "TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes" and the American Music Awards.

For a time in the 1980s, he had shows on all three networks and was listed among the Forbes 400 of wealthiest Americans. Clark also was part of radio as partner in the United Stations Radio Networks, which provided programs - including Clark's - to thousands of stations.

"There's hardly any segment of the population that doesn't see what I do," Clark told The Associated Press in a 1985 interview.

"It can be embarrassing. People come up to me and say, 'I love your show,' and I have no idea which one they're talking about."

The original "American Bandstand" was one of network TV's longest-running series as part of ABC's daytime lineup from 1957 to 1987. It later aired for a year in syndication and briefly on the USA Network. Over the years, it introduced stars ranging from Buddy Holly to Madonna. The show's status as an American cultural institution was solidified when Clark donated Bandstand's original podium and backdrop to the Smithsonian Institution.

Clark joined "Bandstand" in 1956 after Bob Horn, who'd been the host since its 1952 debut, was fired. Under Clark's guidance, it went from a local Philadelphia show to a national phenomenon.

"I played records, the kids danced, and America watched," was how Clark once described the series' simplicity. In his 1958 hit "Sweet Little Sixteen," Chuck Berry sang that "they'll be rocking on Bandstand, Philadelphia, P-A."

As a host, he had the smooth delivery of a seasoned radio announcer. As a producer, he had an ear for a hit record. He also knew how to make wary adults welcome this odd new breed of music in their homes.

Clark endured accusations that he was in with the squares, with critic Lester Bangs defining Bandstand as "a leggily acceptable euphemism of the teenage experience." In a 1985 interview, Clark acknowledged the complaints. "But I knew at the time that if we didn't make the presentation to the older generation palatable, it could kill it."

"So along with Little Richard and Chuck Berry and the Platters and the Crows and the Jayhawks ... the boys wore coats and ties and the girls combed their hair and they all looked like sweet little kids into a high school dance," he said.

But Clark defended pop artists and artistic freedom, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame said in an online biography of the 1993 inductee. He helped give black artists their due by playing original R&B recordings instead of cover versions by white performers, and he condemned censorship.

His stroke in December 2004 forced him to miss his annual appearance on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." He returned the following year and, although his speech at times was difficult to understand, many, including other stroke victims, praised his bravery.

Still speaking with difficulty, he continued taking part in his New Year's shows, though in a diminished role. Ryan Seacrest became the main host.

"I'm just thankful I'm still able to enjoy this once-a-year treat," he told The Associated Press by e-mail in December 2008 as another New Year's Eve approached.

He was honored at the Emmy Awards in 2006, telling the crowd: "I have accomplished my childhood dream, to be in show business. Everybody should be so lucky to have their dreams come true. I've been truly blessed."

He was born Richard Wagstaff Clark in Mount Vernon, N.Y., in 1929. His father, Richard Augustus Clark, was a sales manager who worked in radio.

Clark idolized his athletic older brother, Bradley, who was killed in World War II. In his 1976 autobiography, "Rock, Roll & Remember," Clark recalled how radio helped ease his loneliness and turned him into a fan of Steve Allen, Arthur Godfrey and other popular hosts.

From Godfrey, he said, he learned that "a radio announcer does not talk to `those of you out there in radio land'; a radio announcer talks to me as an individual."

Clark began his career in the mailroom of a Utica, N.Y., radio station in 1945. By age 26, he was a broadcasting veteran, with nine years' experience on radio and TV stations in Syracuse and Utica, N.Y., and Philadelphia. He held a bachelor's degree from Syracuse University. While in Philadelphia, Clark befriended Ed McMahon, who later credited Clark for introducing him to his future "Tonight Show" boss, Johnny Carson.

In the 1960s, "American Bandstand" moved from black-and-white to color, from weekday broadcasts to once-a-week Saturday shows and from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Although its influence started to ebb, it still featured some of the biggest stars of each decade, whether Janis Joplin, the Jackson 5, Talking Heads or Prince.

But Clark never did book two of rock's iconic groups, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Elvis Presley also never performed, although Clark managed an on-air telephone interview while Presley was in the Army.

When Michael Jackson died in June 2009, Clark recalled working with him since he was a child, adding, "of all the thousands of entertainers I have worked with, Michael was THE most outstanding. Many have tried and will try to copy him, but his talent will never be matched."

Clark kept more than records spinning with his Dick Clark Productions. Its credits included the Academy of Country Music and Golden Globe awards; TV movies including the Emmy-winning "The Woman Who Willed a Miracle" (1984), the "$25,000 Pyramid" game show and the 1985 film "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins." Clark himself made a cameo on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" and a dramatic appearance as a witness on the original "Perry Mason." He was an involuntary part of Michael Moore's Academy Award-winning "Bowling for Columbine," in which Clark is seen brushing off Moore as the filmmaker confronts him about working conditions at a restaurant owned by Clark.

In 1974, at ABC's request, Clark created the American Music Awards after the network lost the broadcast rights to the Grammy Awards.

He was also an author, with "Dick Clark's American Bandstand" and such self-help books as "Dick Clark's Program for Success in Your Business and Personal Life" and "Looking Great, Staying Young." His unchanging looks inspired a joke in "Peggy Sue Gets Married," the 1986 comedy starring Kathleen Turner as an unhappy wife and mother transported back to 1960. Watching Clark on a black-and-white TV set, she shakes her head in amazement, "Look at that man, he never ages."

Clark's clean-cut image survived a music industry scandal. In 1960, during a congressional investigation of "payola" or bribery in the record and radio industry, Clark was called on to testify.

He was cleared of any suspicions but was required by ABC to divest himself of record-company interests to avoid any appearance of a conflict of interest. The demand cost him $8 million, Clark once estimated. His holdings included partial ownership of Swan Records, which later released the first U.S. version of the Beatles' smash "She Loves You."

In 2004, Clark announced plans for a revamped version of "American Bandstand." The show, produced with "American Idol" creator Simon Fuller, was to feature a host other than Clark.

He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 1994 and served as spokesman for the American Association of Diabetes Educators.

Clark, twice divorced, had a son, Richard Augustus II, with first wife Barbara Mallery and two children, Duane and Cindy, with second wife Loretta Martin. He married Kari Wigton in 1977.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ro's House

by Michael

I wonder why Rosie is selling her favorite place to be in the world.....

With her talk show on Oprah's network canceled after just one season—today being it's last day on the air—comedienne, chat show host and lefty-liberal motor mouth Rosie O'Donnell no longer needed or wanted the townhouse she bought a few months ago for $2,250,000 and sold a few weeks ago for $2,500,000.

Apparently the Nyack (NY)-based Rosie O' also doesn't need or want her mansion in Miami Beach, FL because today word comes down the celebrity real estate street via the South Beach Condo Blog (SBCB) that she somewhat surprisingly listed her Star Island estate with an asking price of $19,500,000.

Records show Miz O' picked up the waterfront property in March 1999 for $6,750,000. The Dade County Tax Man shows the just over 1-acre pie-shaped parcel has 203 feet of water frontage with private boat dock. Listing information reveals Rosie O's estate includes an 11,104 square foot main mansion plus two separate and private guesthouses. Listing information also indicates there are 12 bedrooms and 11.5 bathrooms on the property including a "vast master suite" complete with private office, sitting room, fireplace and waterside terrace. 

The handsome devil at the SBCB says the estate "has been upgraded from when she originally purchased the property" and listing information reveals there's a "professional kitc[hen]" and "impressive millwork." Outside there's a large motor court that wraps around a giant tree, lots of tropical landscaping that includes a privacy screen of foliage along the water front, various dining and lounging terraces, a built-in barbecue station, and a kidney bean-shaped swimming pool.

Other high-profile residents of Star Island include music mogul Tommy Motola, Miami Beach royal Gloria Estefan, showbiz entrepreneur Sean Combs who makes everyone take off their kicks before going inside, shoe tycoon Donald J. Pliner whose house has a fab key-shaped swimming pool, and German property developer Thomas Kramer who appeared in all his kinda-creepy glory on The Real Housewives of Atlanta as one of Kim Zolciak's friends.

Although her house is priced the lowest Miz O'Donnell may face some stiff competition from her neighbors. There are currently at least five other Star Island estates listed on the open market with asking prices from $19,999,999 to $35,000,000. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

~ Bits of Boston ~

by Tina~in_ut

The view from our room at sunset. It was gorgeous~

Hubby and I went to the JFK Library~
Just walkin' along and there, on top of a building, was a house, with trees included~
Mecca for the Christian Science Church! I thought it was a Scientology church, but they are quick to tell you otherwise. A nice lady showed us around inside. It was a little creepy~

 Harvard Hall~ I spent an afternoon at Harvard....snuck into this building to find a bathroom. It's a beautiful campus, but I'm glad my kids don't want to go if they'd get in~ lol~

I took this because it reminded me of the motel Michael told me to stay at! I laughed the whole time I was taking this picture.
I thought this was interesting. We were walking around the North End and came upon this. Not really sure what it is. There were several places with a lot of religious stuff.

Now this place was disgusting. I LOVED it!!! If you google the word cannoli, Mike's Pastry comes up. You can even order these puppies online!!! Everything in his pastry shop looked SO good, but he's best known for his cannoli. Hanover St in the North food and sweets EVER!~

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Saturday, April 14, 2012

~ The Hunger Games ~

by Tina~in_ut


I don't usually read a book and then see the movie. When our family went to see the very first Harry Potter movie, my husband and oldest, who read the books, spent the entire time telling each other what was missing from the movie. I didn't think it was worth it to be frustrated, so I never read them and just watched each movie with my kids and I was happy because I didn't know better.

Well everyone has been telling me FOR-EVER to read the Hunger Games trilogy. When I say FOR-EVER.....I mean F O R E V E R!!!!~ So I finally did. My friend from work lent me the books and my goal was to finish the first one by the time we got to Boston so hubby and I could go see the movie while on vacation. Well then hubby started reading them. As soon as he was done with the first one, which we both LOVED by the way, we went on our merry way to see the film. HUGE mistake! The whole time I was reading the book, I would imagine how they would depict each scene on the big screen. Not even close. They left out so many characters. I don't even remember them using Effie's name in the film. They didn't develop the relationships. It was a HUGE disappointment! Did I say HUGE? I really meant H U G E ! ! ! ! !~ The only character that seemed the same to me was Lenny Kravitz' character of Cinna. Loved him! Both the hubby and I spent the entire walk back to our hotel talking about how awful it was and what they could have done differently.

Why didn't any of you remind me to stay away from the film if I read the book?!!! Or to stay away from the book if I planned to see the film? Does that ever happen to you? Have you ever been disappointed with a movie after reading a book?

Friday, April 13, 2012

Hello and thank you for calling.....

by Jodi

This was posted by John Taylor of the band Duran Duran today.  It totally made me LMBO!!  Enjoy :)

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

~ You Should Get Out More ~

by Tina~in_ut

The hubby and I are in Boston. We went out for dinner and a movie and while walking back to the hotel, I told him that I had all these ideas for blogs. He smiled and said, "You should get out more. Experience life!" I do tend to want to stay home as much as possible now......only going out with friends on rare occasions.

Anyway, tonight, the hubby suggested Fleming's for dinner. He knows I love it and he wanted a good steak. It was about a mile walk and both of us love to people watch, so the time went by quickly and we arrived in no time. We were seated and I didn't really pay attention to who was seated around us because I was intent on selecting the perfect feast! After we ordered, I looked around and noticed a couple across from us. She was eating a salad and he was on the phone with his menu open in front of him. I thought it a little rude, but hey....whatever. The hubby and I talked about the kids and the trip and colleges for the twins....and then I realized.....the guy was STILL on the phone. Of course, the hubster and I started talking about them.......and making up their story. The woman was asian and the guy was some kind of latin......not Mexican.....I couldn't put my finger on it. Hubby was SURE the woman was brought over to this country to serve the man.....worse than a mail order bride. Oh he takes her to an expensive steakhouse. duh! I noticed wedding rings. So they're married.....but are they married to each other? I got my answer after he hung up his phone. They were silent for a while. He finally ordered his food and a beer and then started talking to her. He got no response. He tried again. Nothing! And again. And nothing! Ohhhhhhhhhh.....they're married to each other!!!! It took her forever and a day to say anything to him, and when she did, it was a shrugged shoulder and an "I don't know!" After she finished her salad, she got up to go to the restroom. Hubby and I talked for a while about other things, but after a while, we both realized at the same time that the woman had not come back. We looked straight into each others eyes and said the same thing, "Maybe she left him!" It took FOR FREAKING EVER, but she finally came back. When she did, she let him have it. In the middle of her talking to him, their food arrived. That's when I got a good look at the man. He looked like he had his tail between his legs and was ready to be shipped off to Timbucktoo! At least he had the wherewithall to look contrite. They were pretty quiet after that. Toward the end of our meal, I did notice that he pulled his phone out again and was messing with his apps! My hubby made a phone call just to be funny, but it was to our son and he didn't answer.

What would you have done if you had been this woman? I would have taken the darn phone away and hung up. If you can't be reached, you can't be reached. My husband has been complaining because his boss is sending work e-mails while he's on vacation. I looked at him and said, "Duh! Don't read them until Monday!" Just because most of us have cell phones with internet doesn't mean it's appropriate to use them ALL THE TIME! They are extremely convenient to have in another city for stuff like movie times and gps and restaurant locations, but ya don't have to talk on the phone in a restaurant and ignore your wife, unless of course you want to be the topic of a blog!~

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Water Dogs

by Zona