Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
JUST THINK HOW THIS YOUNG LADY FELT WHEN SHE DISCOVERED THE VIDEO HER FATHER SHOT
Great video of a Spontaneous Victory Parade in Honolulu in 1945. Take a look at this video-absolutely fabulous! Notice the cars and jeeps, youth. The guys in khaki or gray shirts and black ties are Navy officers or chiefs. The rest are Army or Marine. How young they all were to do what they did. This guy really captured a moment in history! (You can listen to Jimmy Durante singing "I'll be Seeing You" in the background, too) This is a super video of a time past - we need to remember and be THANKFUL. Check out the color fidelity. It's not bad for 1945. Nothing will ever compare with Kodachrome film.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I frequent a small, local coffee shop. I've been going there for years so I'm one of the "regulars". This means that the cooks and waitresses know my name and I know theirs. I often chat a bit with the waitresses if time allows. Not every day, though, and I'm usually reading my book while I eat. On occasion, I may end up sharing a booth with one of the other "regulars' and we'll have a little conversation while we eat. We have some nice chats but, generally, I'm not a real big talker. I'm more on the quiet side.
The coffee shop has a new waitress, Theresa. I would guess Theresa is about 60 years old and wears her hair in a single braid that reaches her waist. Theresa is a talker. Today during my 1/2 hour lunch Theresa told me the following, all completely unsolicited by me.
Theresa likes to go to the other end of the mall to visit the tobacco shop because the clerk there has a chihuahua behind the counter that jumps up and down, up and down, so it can see her over over the top of the counter. She said it's like he's on a pogo stick or something and she thinks it's soooo cute..... Unless, he's barking at something, then he's not so cute. Very yappy. She can't stand yappy dogs. She could never have a yappy dog, she's more of a cat person. She used to have a house cleaning business and she really liked it. She cleaned some businesses, too. This one house that she cleaned regularly was really quite large and a really nice house. She really enjoyed cleaning that house but the owner was one of those people that cleaned the house before she got here. (Tinka, are you reading this?) She didn't like it that the owner would do that because then when she, herself, cleaned it, she couldn't tell that it looked any different than before she started. Next door to this house was another house and the people there had two small dogs. Those dogs would bark all day long. They were very yappy. Theresa wouldn't be able to handle that. She asked about my dog, a pit bull, and answered her own question that pit bulls don't stand around barking all day. She doesn't know how anybody could stand to have a dog like that and it would drive her crazy to live next door to that constant barking. When Theresa got done at the coffee shop today, she was going to go to the store to pick up wine for her elderly mother who lives in a senior apartment complex. It's really a pretty nice complex but she thought the one where she used to live was a little nicer. Her mother didn't have any friends in the old one, though, so she wanted to move and this new place has worked out better because she has friends there, now. When she talks to her mother on the phone her mother always complains about the phone not working well but Theresa suspects that the real problem that her mother is probably losing her hearing.
I love to sit at the coffee shop, quietly reading my book while I eat. This book is taking me a lot longer than usual to get through. I think it has something to do with Theresa.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
by Sac Barb
LADIES!!! Remember ... a layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.'A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture .'
I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over'. Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!
NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home.
They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.
If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice.
Life is short. Enjoy it!
Dust if you must ........
but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?
Dust if you must, but there's not much time . . . ...
with wine to drink, rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must,
but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!
It's not what you gather , but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Monday, September 24, 2012
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you, because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just got mine wet."
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
(This one actually makes sense...lol)
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
|Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our|
Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
|Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,|
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
|Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit|
on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
|Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off|
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog?
|Dear God: We Dogs can understand human|
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
|Dear God: More meatballs,|
less spaghetti, please.
|Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?|
If there are, will I have to apologize?
|P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,|
May I have my testicles back?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
by Sac Barb
I'm not sure what that last line reads, but it made me laugh.
Wife: Baa bukkie, where on earth are you?
Husband: honey, u remember that Jewelery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and you totally fell in lov with it?
The wife relaxed with a smile.
Wife: yes, the king of my heart i remember
Husband: and you remember i do not have money 2 buy it for you at that time and i told you "honey, that necklace will be yours one day"
The wife is totally relaxed with a big smile now and even blushing.
Wife: yes i remember my love, only cockroach in my cupboard,
Husband: good Iya bukkie. i am in a beer parlour next 2 dat shop wer I'm chopping d lyf of my head!!!
Monday, September 17, 2012
A sweet old couple, both well into their 70's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' BILL says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..' He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good-bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
BILL says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.'
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
by Sac Barb
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
| || |
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
| || |
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ?
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
Friday, September 14, 2012
Woman Arrested For Warning Drivers Of Speed Trap With Makeshift Sign
A makeshift sign used to warn drivers of a speed trap landed a Houston woman in jail last week. Natalie Plummer was riding her bicycle home from the grocery store when she noticed several cars beng pulled over for speeding. Hoping to save a few drivers from a potentially pricey ticket, she turned one of her paper bags into a sign that warned of the waiting police ahead. While she was doing so, an officer pulled up and arrested her."I was completely abiding by the law," she told KRTK. "I was simply warning citizens of a situation ahead." The Houston police, however, were not amused by her tactics and arrested her for, believe it or not, "standing in the street where a sidewalk is present," an offense that not only sounds ridiculous, but that Plummer also denies even doing. "He couldn't take me to jail for holding up this sign or he would have. So all he could do was make up something fake about it," she said. The officer also searched her backpack and threatened to arrest her for obstruction of justice, a much more serious charge, Plummer alleges. She was held in jail for 12 hours until she posted bond and is scheduled to appear in court for her misdemeanor charge in the near future.