Monday, September 10, 2012

Husband Store

by Sac Barb 

A store that sells new husbands has opened in
New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: 

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs


She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
 (scroll and keep reading!)


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

he second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer. 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Barb LOL

Tinka Happy Anniversary to you and Jack. Your farm sounds lovely.

I am so tired today. Lordy the zoo was packed! We found out that it was free day for Pierce County residents. We live in Thurston county and had to pay. I think everyone who lived in Pierce County took advantage of the free day.

The highlight to the kids was the aquatic center. Where they watched the seals play and swim. The Puffins dancing, and then the male Walrus perform a sexual act on himself.

Yes you read that right. I did not see it as I was in the back of the crowd with the stroller. But I did here the OMGD's and Ewwwwwwws! And did anyone have their cameras ready for that hat trick. NO. LOL Angel and her Daughter in law were moving the kids as quickly as possible away from the window. Ahhh the Zoo.

Zona said...

BARB: Cute joke! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

LYNN: Yikes! I thought it was the monkeys that never behaved!! Bad Walrus!!! :D

FROM 51:

TINKA: Jack had to turn on the furnace? Wow! We won't be that cool for 3 months..if even then! So sweet about your first meeting with Jack..Happy Anniversary! :)

DI: Congrats on the win! I didn't watch the game..but I did want the Broncos to win..can't stand the Steelers. Cardinals won too! Tonight..Raiders play..I'll have to get out my fringe towel.. ;)

J/LIN: LOL..I think she had it picked out a while ago.. :D

Randy was organizing stuff all weekend..which means I'll probably spend all day looking for

Have a good day everyone!

Lynn D said...

I just realized that the Walrus may have been responding to the Pink video. :D

Just_Lin said...

LynnD OMG! I really laughed about your encounter with the walrus. Now I know what John Lennon meant when he sang, "I am the walrus". LOL Have a visual?

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks for the blog today, that was cute. I thought the guys on the top floor were going to be gay. LOL

Just_Lin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just_Lin said...

That was weird. Somehow I magically reposted what I had written to Lynn. Hmmm,.....

Just_Lin said...

Zona Do you look forward to the day you can crank up the furnace? I turn the heat up here on most evenings.

Tina~in_ut said...

It's raining....and still it's warm~

J/L~ I thought the top floor was full of gay guys too~ lol~

Lynn~ Maybe the Walrus is gay and has been reading 50 Shades of Grey and has a thing for Christian~ :)~

Zona~ Good luck on the hunt~

Sackie~ Thanks again for another blog~ SO handy this one....I was SOOOOOO busy this weekend....wanted to fall into bed last night when I got home...remembered that I had to throw something in for today....hopefully something w/o pictures cuz that takes me forever...and there this one thanks~ :D

sacBarb said...

Tina, YW. Ya know, if you ever get too tired or too busy, we are perfectly capable of 'talking amongst ourselves,' so you don't need to get too stressed about putting up a blog every day. We are very understanding. Right Owls?

Lynn D said...

Afternoon Glories!

I may be wrong Angel thinks her daughter in law might have gotten a video of the Walrus. Will let you know. :)

J/L and Tina you never know what is going to happen at the zoo. The Puffins were also in mating season and all they do is puff up and dance. I am just grateful the kids were to little to ask what he was doing.

I went and got the rest of Richards presents and I am so damn tired I can barely think. Between yesterday and today, I am feeling all 50 of my years today.

sacBarb said...

Tina2, A51-BTW I have never heard that song, but it was very interesting. I have often had s*&t days, but never felt the need to sing about them. On another note, I really like Pink, so thanks for the song.

sacBarb said...

Lynn, going to the zoo is always an interesting event. You never know what you're gonna get, to quote Forest Gump. We went to Fort Defiance zoo when I was in Seattle and Chad got some interesting pictures. However, we didn't see the walrus perform. They were selling tickets for a ride on the camel and Chad bought a ticket for me, but I was not about to take that ride.

sacBarb said...

Zona, Isn't it nice when someone else 'organizes' stuff and then you can't find anything? I don't have to worry about anyone else organizing my stuff, but I still have trouble remembering where I put stuff!

sacBarb said...

J/L, I thought the same thing about the top floor guys. However, that wouldn't be so bad. I could get advice on decorating and he wouldn't complain about shopping with me.