Saturday, September 15, 2012

Questionnaire For Retired People

by Sac Barb

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ?
A: Nudity
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"


Tinka said...

Good Morning All Owls!

That's a good one Barb. I will make a copy of it and read it again when I am old and 60. It will be even funnier then.

Sorry I have been MIA. We have been busy with appointments and shopping for our son's birthday.
His birthday is tomorrow but we are having his party today at my daughter's house. I am going to have breakfast and then start making my famous buns.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hmmm. I can smell the buns all the way in Colorao, Tink. Yum yum. Have fun at your birthday party.

Barb: gosh these were all so true. I especially liked the one about an antique shop and remembering everything. I am so darn old and feel every inch of it.

Have a good day owls. Hmm, I think I will roll over on my other side doe something to do here. No pity party here---no siree!!!!!

Mary/MI said...

Too funny Barb,'cept it should be peeps over 70!! I am the new 50s lol!!
Diane "woopie", I see your surgery date has been moved up. Start the countdown to relief!!
Tinka, Have a great day at the birthday party.
It's a glorious day here in Michigan.
I am heading to our VFW to bus tables at our steak dinner.
Have a great day all!

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

BARB: I'm not quite 60 yet..but ya know..I can certainly relate to a lot of those..especially the one about trying to retrieve your memory..that one really made me LOL! :D

TINKA: You look absolutely lovely today! Have a wonderful time at the party..and please send me some buns!! OH! And some birthday cake too please..if it wouldn't be too much trouble! ;)

DI: I was so happy to hear that your knee surgery date has been moved'll be dancing on those tables again before you know it! :)

JMM: Yay! That means I'm the new 40's!! :D

Getting ready to start dinner..must remember the foil.. ;)

Have a good evening everyone!

Just_Lin said...

Tinka You look lovely in first. I think I can smell your buns all the way down here. Sure wish I could try one. After you send some to Zona, maybe you could send any leftovers to me. I hope you've had a wonderful day celebrating birthdays.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Those were funny, right? Hmmm.....

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Are you still partying today? This whole summer has been quite a bummer for you, hasn't it? I hope next summer is especially good to make up for it. Maybe you should start planning a vacation. Think of how nice it will be to be able to get around with a repaired knee.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Yes, 60 is definitely the new 50! Thanks for reminding me. I hope your VFW event went well.

Just_Lin said...

Zona What's for dinner? I'm roasting a chicken. My granddaughter loves mashed potatoes, as do I. Must be in the DNA. There will be mashed potatoes and gravy and fresh green beans. I can hardly wait. It's smelling good.

Tina~in_ut said...

okay.....u guys are all making me hungry!!!!~

Just_Lin said...

Tina Well, eat something! I've got roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. Tinka has her famous buns and birthday cake. Mary has steak dinners and Zona has some kind of surprise that involves aluminum foil. If you don't want any of that, you can take some of Dianne's drugs and go to sleep.

sacBarb said...

Good evening Owls.

I'm glad I have already eaten, otherwise I would be rummaging through the kitchen looking for something good to eat.

Zona, I think it would be a good idea to remove the foil from your kitchen completely. js

Mary, can I get a doggy bag?

Tinka, I hope you had fun at your party.

Dianne, So glad to hear that your surgery date has been moved up. I hope it will be early in the morning so you can get it over with.

J/L, My family is big on mashed potatoes, too, especially when I would put grated cheddar cheese in them.

Tina, go get some take-out.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I might have to do that next time even though it might set a dangerous precedent. LOL

Just_Lin said...