Monday, February 28, 2011

~ I Told You So ~

by Tina~in_ut

I told you.....I told you.......I told if you haven't seen it, GO!!!!!

King George VI triumphed and made his speech, and now, the film made the biggest speech of the night: "The King's Speech" was crowned Best Picture at the 2011 Oscars.

The World War II-set drama about friendship, trust and overcoming the odds beat out nine other films, including Golden Globe winner "The Social Network". It's the first time the Academy has awarded a film about British Royalty the top slot.

Colin Firth, who won for Best Actor, starred as King George VI, a stuttering King of England who must overcome his speech impediment to deliver a speech and inspire a downtrodden country as Nazi bombs rain down. Geoffrey Rush played his quirky speech therapist, Lionel Logue, while Helena Bonham Carter plays a young Queen Mum.


Colin Firth


Saturday, February 26, 2011

~ So Stupid ~

by Tina~in_ut

I see this stupid commercial everywhere I look!  I can't stand it.  What were they thinking?  Makes me not want to clean!  Wait, I don't....that's what I had kids for~ lol~

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Top 15 Grocery Store Pick-Up Lines

by Shirley

  1. "I don't care *how* many items you've got, baby, I could check you out all day long!"
  2. "Is it really cold in frozen foods, or are you just happy to see me?"
  3. "May I use those melons for my Fruit of the Loom salad?"
  4. "How about a little roll in the Bakery Department?"
  5. "What a coincidence! You've got butter in your cart, and I've got a copy of 'Last Tango in Paris' at home!"
  6. "How much of this caviar do you think I can get into the trunk of my Ferrari?"
  7. "I've got some meat here that's 'Best if used by tonight.'"
  8. "Price check for mixed roasted nuts on aisle 69!"
  9. "You know, it ain't often that I see a lady buying pork rinds, and when I see a lady buying pork rinds, I says to myself, 'This is one chick I *got* to get to know better.'"
  10. "What a small world! I belong to the Safeway Club, too!"
  11. "So how would you like to become a stock *man*?"
  12. "Pssst! My piggly is wiggly."
  13. "Are we in the laxatives aisle? 'Cause the thought of hooking up with you is running through my mind like crazy."
  14. "Clean up in Aisle BVD!"
    and the Number 1 Grocery Store Pick-Up Line...
  15. "Baby, you better get out of that express lane, 'cause you're all that *and* a bag of chips."

Thursday, February 24, 2011

~ Best First Date Ever! ~

by Tina~in_ut

I don't know why, but I love this commercial.  You couldn't pay me to drive a chevy, but I think the commercial is just sweet~

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


by Shirley

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning,and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

~ Evil People Hate Light ~

by Tina~in_ut

This is so freaky!  I know I talk religion, probably more than some of you would like, but it's what gets me through the rough patches.  When I need it, it's there.  In a big way.  At mass on Saturday night, it wasn't just the first reading, or the second one, or the was all three that spoke to me.  It was perfect.  Then today, I went to log into the blog, and never made it there. 

When I use my daughter's laptop, I always have to type the entire address for our site.  I messed up this time and left off an 's'.  Imagine my surprise to find a bible study website.  The real web address is  I typed and got to the same place!  Go figure. 

Check it out if you want.  You don't have to.  I went straight for the "evil people hate light" page.  So interesting. (all my lights are on!)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Tips you can't live without. You're welcome!

by Shirley

1. Line the bottom of your refrigerator’s crisper drawer with paper towels. They’ll absorb the excess moisture that causes vegetables to rot.

2. To keep herbs tasting fresh for up to a month, store whole bunches, washed and sealed in plastic bags, in the freezer. When you need them, they’ll be easier to chop, and they’ll defrost the minute they hit a hot pan.

3. A bay leaf slipped into a container of flour, pasta, or rice will help repel bugs.

4. Stop cheese from drying out by spreading butter or margarine on the cut sides to seal in moisture. This is most effective with hard cheeses sealed in wax.

5. When radishes, celery, or carrots have lost their crunch, simply pop them in a bowl of iced water along with a slice of raw potato and watch the limp vegetables freshen up right before your eyes.

6. Avoid separating bananas until you plan to eat them – they spoil less quickly in a bunch.

7. Put rice in your saltshaker to stop the salt from hardening. The rice absorbs condensation that can cause clumps.

8. Stock up on butter when it’s on sale – you can store it in the freezer for up to six months. Pack the butter in an airtight container, so it doesn’t take on the flavor of whatever else you’re freezing.

9. In order to make cottage cheese or sour cream last longer, place the container upside down in the fridge. Inverting the tub creates a vacuum that inhibits the growth of bacteria that causes food to spoil.

10. Believe it or not, honey is the only nonperishable food substance, so don’t get rid of the stuff if it crystallizes or becomes cloudy. Microwave on medium heat, in 30-second increments, to make honey clear again.

11. Prevent extra cooked pasta from hardening by stashing it in a sealed plastic bag and refrigerating. When you’re ready to serve, throw the pasta in boiling water for a few seconds to heat and restore moisture.

12. Keeping brown sugar in the freezer will stop it from hardening. But if you already have hardened sugar on your shelf, soften it by sealing in a bag with a slice of bread – or by microwaving on high for 30 seconds.

13. If you only need a few drops of lemon juice, avoid cutting the lemon in half – it will dry out quickly. Instead, puncture the fruit with a metal skewer and squeeze out exactly what you require.

14. If you’re unsure of an egg’s freshness, see how it behaves in a cup of water: Fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

~ More ~

by Tina~in_ut

I had another video ready to go, but I forgot the Daytona 500 was running today!  This song goes better with it!!

When I looked for the video for More, I had the hardest time finding one.  I found the "A" video first and REALLY didn't like it!  When I FINALLY saw that there was a "B" video, I was confused because I don't think I've ever seen an Usher video where he doesn't dance. THEN I saw that there was a contest put on by "Body by Milk".  KIDS made this video!  KIDS!!!!!  I thought that was so cool.  Both videos were on their website and people voted for the one they liked the best.  B won!  I hope you enjoy the song!  It goes great with NASCAR!  I know you'll all watch~

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Friday, February 18, 2011

Really Really Bad Pick Up Lines - Part 2

by Shirley

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
Are you an Alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Can I borrow your library card? Cause I'm checking you out.
Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
Are those astronaut pants? Cause that ass is out of this world!
Your feet must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
Got any raisins? Then how about a date?
If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.
You must be Jamaican, cause you Jamaican me crazy.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
Darling, if you were cocaine I'd OVERDOSE!
If you were a wedgie, I'd pick you!
Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?
I lost my virginity... can I have yours?
I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?
Are you a light switch? Cause I want to turn you on!
Ok, that's it. I won't torture you all with a third part...unless you insist!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

~ Prank Dial Dot Com ~

by Tina~in_ut

About a month ago, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize, so I didn't answer it.  They called again, and again I ignored it.  My daughter came downstairs and asked if Aunt Rita had called me.  Well I can't stand Rita and I don't have her number, so of course I didn't answer it.  That's when I realized my daughter was up to something.

It's called  You enter your phone number, the number you are calling, and the number for your fake caller ID.  This didn't sound like a good thing.  I told my daughter that she shouldn't be using this.  That's when I found out that she'd already used it over 10 times and my son was using it as well.  She showed me the website and the part that really got me was the fact that you can disguise your voice AND record the call.  There's a box to check if you want the caller to know that the call is being recorded, but I think that's more of a legal thing for the website, cuz really, what's the point in checking that box if you want to mess with someone? 

My college son had pissed me and my hubby off and wasn't answering our phone calls or texts.  My daughter decided that she'd call him and enter one of his friend's phone numbers to see if he answered.  And what do you know?!  "Hey dude!"  Of course my daughter couldn't keep from laughing, but my son still thought it was his friend, even after she explained that she wasn't.  We made her call him back to explain.

I told my kids that I didn't want them using the website anymore because it could really get them in trouble.  They were thinking of all these scenarios and they were starting to border on cruel.  I also explained, that even though I didn't want them doing it, for God's sake, ya gotta use a phone number that the person would answer.  Duh!!! 

I tried it on my daughter to see if/how it worked.  Sure enough, it showed her grandparents calling her when it was really me and I sounded like a guy!  The female voice sounds like a little girl, so I wouldn't recommend it.  She actually sounds possessed and hard to understand.  I guess it could be fun to mess with your friends, in a non-cruel way, of course.  But I can see this in the wrong hands and people can be so cruel.  What do you guys think of this?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dear Pets

by Maureen

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:  The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.  Racing me to the bottom is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.  I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

(1)  They live here.  You don't.  
(2)  If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.  That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.  
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.  
(4)  To you, they are animals.  To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(3) are easier to train
(4) normally come when called
(5) never ask to drive the car
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people
(7) don't smoke or drink
(8) don't want to wear your clothes
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Customer Is Always Right

by Bonachichi

I have an acquaintance who is by far, the world’s #1 trouble-maker. He went to Function4Sports to buy waterproof gloves and they happily sold him an expensive pair.

Assuming the gloves would be waterproof for use in the snow (possibly due to being told "these are waterproof gloves for use in the snow") he was surprised to find they became soaked within seconds and bled black ink down his sleeves and all over the front of his jacket. When he tried to return the gloves, he was refused on the grounds that he’d worn them. This became a most unfortunate decision for Anton, as you can see from the e-mail exchange. What have you done when a merchant treats you unfairly? What would you like to do? Incidentally, the snowboard offer has been extended through March, so be sure to call for your free stuff.

Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am
To: xxxxx xxxxxx
Subject: Advertisement
I received the attached advertisement from a friend who follows you on twitter or something. If this was some kind of joke I fail to see the humor. We had over 5000 calls asking for free snowboards and I know you are responsible.

Monday, February 14, 2011

~ Happy Valentines Day ~

by Tina~in_ut
I LOVE making cards. I really do. It's a long process, but worth it to me. It's theraputic in a frustrating kinda way.

It takes me a forever to figure out the design. Sometimes I get it right off the bat, and other times it takes me several tries. Once I have something I am satisfied with, I bring it to work to show Janice and I show my daughter. Janice, being the nice lady that she is, will tell me she likes it. I have to bring several different versions for her to see so she picks the one she likes the best. I also have to watch her face closely to see if she's telling me the truth. My daughter is way different. She will tell me what she thinks even if it hurts my feelings. When I showed her this particular card, she scrunched up her nose and said with a straight face, "I don't really like the patterned paper!" I was shocked, but then she started laughing. I promptly smacked her!

I know most people don't send Valentine's Day cards. I usually don't, but when I feel like being crafty, I feel like being crafty!

~ Happy Valentine's Day ~

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Set Fire To The Rain

by DeeDee

Adele is whats happening these days....and she is fantastic!

Friday, February 11, 2011


by Maureen

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Salt Lake City Weekend

by Sac Barb

I recently spent a weekend in Salt Lake City with Mickie, Pam, Claire, Margaret, Pat, and Betsy, six wonderful women with whom I went to elementary and high school and all of whom live in California.  Mickie’s daughter and son-in-law (Beth and Paulo) left their very quaint four bedroom house to stay with her son and daughter-in-law (Rich and Sue), so we could all stay comfortably together.  It was a very generous gesture which we all appreciated.

Mickie rented a seven passenger van so we could all ride together.  We all had our assigned seats.  Mickie, the driver, and Pam were in the front seats (first class), Claire and I were in the middle two seats (coach), and Pat, Betsy, and Margaret (the skinny bitches) squeezed in the back seat (steerage). 

The first night we arrived we went to a showing of Paulo’s art at a local café.  Beth had given us her GPS so we wouldn’t get lost.  Mickie didn’t have any faith in the GPS and decided to use her own intuition and consequently we got totally lost.  Bertha the GPS lady kept asking if we wanted her to recalculate the route and we finally convinced Mickie to follow her directions.  We made it to the café only a half hour late and Mickie took a lot of ribbing about getting lost. So, when we left, Beth said all we had to do was ask Bertha (which later changed to the Bitch) to take us home, but for some reason she took us in a completely opposite direction.  We were lost again.  Mickie called her other son Mike (who was also at the café) to ask for help.  Mike told her to go to 3300 East and turn right and after we did that and went a few blocks Mike asked her what kind of car she was driving.  She told him, and he said “Are you at a red light next to a bus?” and she said “How did you know that?”  He said, “I am at the same intersection turning right at the green light.  Follow me and I’ll get you home.”  None of us know how he found us, but we were happy to follow him home.  We even asked him if he could just put a trailer hitch on his pick-up and tow us to Park City the next day.  No dice.

Suffice it to say, every time we got in the car was a comic adventure.  We made it to Park City, but not without a few more phone calls to Mickie’s kids.  She would call one and if that one didn’t answer she would call another.  I personally think they took shifts for answering their Mom’s calls and ignoring them if it was not their shift. 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Monday, February 7, 2011


by Shirley

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now I know why some people are where they are!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Friday, February 4, 2011

~ God Works In Mysterious Ways ~

by Tina~in_ut

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.

The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'

She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Let's Face It

by Just Lin

I almost always go to bed with my make-up on. There, I've said it.

Most of you probably think that's really gross and perhaps it is but it's been this way with me ever since I started wearing make-up back in my teens. Once in a while, I try to mend my ways and scrub my face with soap and water before going to bed, but my commitment wanes as soon as I feel too tired to make the effort. I guess I'm just plain lazy, really. The only thing I do for my face is to put some moisturizer on it before applying my make-up in the morning.

Now that I'm in my 60's, it may be too late for me but I feel like I should really be doing more to try and keep my skin more youthful looking, diminish the appearance of wrinkles, etc., all those things the ads for skin care products tell us we should be doing. Every so often, I'll get inspired by one of those ads and go buy a rather pricey product with hopes of making my face look better, healthier, firmer. I'll try it for a little while but if I can't see any noticeable difference, I soon lose interest and stop using it and go back to my lazy ways.

Maybe I'm fooling myself but I don't think my skin looks too bad for my age. I don't know that my lack of attention has harmed it in any particular way. I think I could use some slight face lift surgery but that's not going to happen and I don't think any of the products on the shelves would be a replacement for that.

Do you have a skin care regime that you feel really works well? If so, I'd be willing to try it. Well, at least for a week or so. : )

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Dreaded Stairs

by Zona

Even with my bad knee..I think I'd try walking up these stairs instead of taking the escalator. It really does look like fun!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Chinese Feng Shui Horoscope

by Maureen

This is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope. If you are honest this tells the truth. Write your answers on paper. To find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll down.

1. Which is your favourite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?
5. The name of a person that is the same sex as you?
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a Lake or the Ocean more?
9. Write down a Wish (a realistic one)

When you are done, scroll down.. Don't cheat!


1. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person & give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is between:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to live your life to the max & your love life is soon to bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future looks very bright.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your life will be great; you will find your soul mate.

4. If you choose:
Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your Best Friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time.

7. If you choose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida : You are a laid back person.

8. If you choose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.