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Monday, February 7, 2011

Mathematics-DUH!!!

by Shirley

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now I know why some people are where they are!

26 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moanin'~

Tina~in_ut said...

thanks for the blog Shirley~

bonachichi said...

Yeah. That 110% line always gets to me. Unless it's an investment that's realized that sort of return.

Hiya to Tina and everyone dropping by later.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Boy Shirley ain't this the freaking truth!!!

Hey Tina I read yesterday that a certain airline, I believe the one you work for is sending all of it's customer service employees to charm school. Did they miss your enrollment? :)Bwahahahaha

Carol Sending you ((((Hugs))))!

Mary thinking about you today. (((Hugs))) to you to!

Waving at Bonachichi and Tina and anyone who flies in later.

Bebbilane said...

Good morning Tina! Loved the song yesterday..wow. Had to listen a couple of times..great selection!

Funny blog today..Yes, I see that does look like it works.

Hi Bonachichi and good morning!

Bebbilane said...

Good morning Lynn!! :)

DeeDee said...

I don't know if you all have met my husband to be...Aaron Rodgers??

We fell in love at a football game....

Mary/MI said...

Good afternoon Hooters!

Tina, what can I say? You are as pretty as your picture :)

Shirley, adds up to me! I take your word for it since I am so bad at Math cept when it comes to my checkbook and portfolio lol!

lynnD, aw you are such a sweetie!

DeeDee was he a "tight end"?
Waving @ Bonach & Bebbi~~

goldie said...

Hello Hooters!

Shirley, you hit my husband's pet peeve on the head! According to him if something is 100% that is the total of anything that it can be. So giving 110% is not possible. Drives him NUTS whenever someone says that. LOL

I personaly like the Bullshit one. :)

Hi Mary, Lynn, chichi , tina,bebbi and deedee!!!!!!!!!!

Zona said...

SHIRLEY: So true..unfortunately!

TINA: You're looking fab today..totally fab.. :D

DEEDEE: Was it the dimples..or the thighs? ;)

MARY: LOL@ tight end!

Waving a wing at GOLDIE, BEBBI, LYNN and BONACHI!

Gotta run..Nikki rolled in the dirt and dead grass again and I need to give her a bath..grrr..bbl when I'm un-grrred.. ;)

whabbear said...

Mary, he was, until Dee Dee's strap-on got to him!

See if you can guess what position he plays now?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! It's my blog!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Evening Owls...Tina, Bonachi,
Lynn D, Bebbi, DeeDee (glares at her), Mary, Goldie, Zona and Whabbear!

(((HUGS))) for Carol. Your post in Area 51 made me cry.

(((HUGS))) for Mary.

Gentle (((HUGS))) for bruised Dianne.

You people need to learn how to stand up and stop falling down!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Isn't this a fantastic blog?! (I don't remember sending it but it's great!)

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

SHIRLEY...fantastic blog! It adds up to laughs!! You really put 150% into it!

DIANNE...{{hugs}}

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled peppers.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Goosee goosee gander
Whether shall I wander

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Jingle bells
DeeDee smells
A million miles away
Plug your nose and there she goes Down the toilet drain.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Monday night!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maureen said...

uh oh...seems like SHIRLEY is pounding back all the left over beer from yesterday!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I mam fereckly fine u ole ditch!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

fighty fight bowels!
tanks for palying wif me!

Maureen said...

SHIRLEY...good night to you and your bowels!

Oh, and it takes a ditch to know one!

DeeDee said...

Mary...I think he is a "passer"...

but he is scared to death of dogs! The reason I know is because...well...you know that sound ur wa-jay-jay makes like if ur lying down then us raise up? Yeah! That one.

Well Aaron is rather well endowed and you know me...just so tiny....well he rolled over and I raised up and he JUMPED UP AND RAN to this dressing screen...
Poor thing....I had made a tiny little sound when I raised up and he said he thought there was a rabid pitbull in the room!

Well!

He finally agreed with ME! ...that the sound could not have come from me...such a petite flower...

Rabid pitbull indeed!

Mary/MI said...

Thanks for the hugs Shirley. Just wondering if cabin fever is getting to you! You sound a little tense!
Maybe DeeDee has done some doo doo that voo doo too you!

Whabby, I wonder if she made him an "ineligible receiver"?

Mo, lol @ bowels!

Mary/MI said...

DeeDee,is it "tiny" from lack of use or swelled up from *ahem* over use?