Friday, December 31, 2010

A Holiday Wish For You

by SacBarb

Throughout the rest of this Year and all of 2011.....

May you always make the right moves.
May your cup runneth over with love.
May you always find shelter from any storm.
May you remain good looking and looking good!
May you find the perfect diet for your soul.
(If this face doesn't make you want to stop eating sausage, nothing will.)
May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.
May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.
May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan.
May you manage to make time for siesta.
May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind.
May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!
Should your mouth be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time!
May you always know when to walk away and know when to run. 
And may your friends always bring you joy!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

An Oxy for the Morons

by Bonachichi
Sometimes I look at something and wonder how the human race survives. Other times I just laugh. Then once in a while, I do both.  What’s your favorite oxymoron or irony?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Paraprosdokian Sentences

by Maureen

Paraprosdokian sentences:A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a phrase.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level
and beat you with his experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,
they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool
and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money,
if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
"If an emergency, notify:"
I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with
"Guess" on I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until
they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real,
but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way
that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home,
even if you wish they were.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go.
Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling
and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt,
plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire,
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people.
Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it
as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes,
why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Monday, December 27, 2010


by Shirley
The word itself does not have much appeal, the guttural sound and the thought of drinking egg doesn't sound very appetizing to most.  There are differing opinions as to the origin of the name for this famous drink.  One version says that nog derives form an Old English word for strong beer, hence "noggin".  Another version attributes the name to Colonial America where colonists referred to thick drinks as "grog" and eggnog as "egg-and-grog".  Either way, we know it today as Eggnog.

It is believed that the eggnog tradition began in Europe as an adaptation of the various milk and wine punches often served at social gatherings.  In the 17th century, eggnog was used as a toast to one's health and was consumed by the well-to-do of society as milk and eggs were scarce commodities in Europe.

When the brew was brought to the "New World," colonists added a new twist, rum.  The rum Americans could get from the Caribbean was considerably less expensive than the other liquors shipped from England.  And so, along with the readily available supply of milk and eggs in the colonies, the rum version quickly became a popular drink for people of all classes.

As a rich, spicy and (oh yes) alcoholic drink, eggnog soon became a familiar item during the holiday season across the growing nations.  Each region would adapt the drink to their personal tastes.  Even George Washington devised his own version of the brew which only the most courageous would partake using rye whiskey, rum and sherry.

In the south, Southern taste replaced rum with bourbon.  And when the brew reached Latin America even more adaptations were made; in Puerto Rico, coconut juice or milk was added, in Mexico eggnog became a harder liqueur to be sipped with the addition of Mexican cinnamon and rum or grain alcohol, and in Peru it was made with the Peruvian pomace brandy called pisco.

The basic recipe for eggnog has not changed of the years (eggs beaten with sugar, mile, cream and some kind of spirit) and remains a favorite for holiday parties.  Whatever the variation of the popular holiday drink, it is sure to be a winner with most of your holiday guests.  however, for those who wish to go "nogless," there are other warm spirited drinks that are sure to be a hit as well and lift everyone's holiday spirits.

So, do you serve eggnog at your Christmas parties?  Do you like eggnog?  Do you spike your eggnog?  Do you make your own or do you buy it?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

~ Maybe Baby ~

by Tina~in_ut

More Sugarland.  One of my favorites. I love that they are featuring Kristian Bush's voice for once instead of Jennifer Nettles, although I love her voice too.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Christmas Magic
Are we too grownup to feel a thrill
As we light the Christmas tree?
Are we immune to cookies,
Christmas cards and Christmas glee?
Are we too adult to "Ooh" and "Aah"
At the Christmas candle's glow?
Are we blasé about our gifts;
Do we shun the mistletoe?
Are we too mature for carols,
For merry or for jolly?
Do the decorations leave us cold,
The ornaments and holly?
Fat chance! We'll never grow too old
To love the Christmas magic.
A year without a Christmas
Would be boring, even tragic.
So bring it on! The candy canes,
The feasting and good cheer;
O Christmas, lovely Christmas,
You're the highlight of the year!
By Joanna Fuchs

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve, My Tradition

remembering past Christmas Eve's for me
always bring a bright cheery smile to my face
since i was little, our dear Christmas Eve in 
my family was bigger than Christmas day

my family, and many extended members would start at my
house were i grew up early in the day
as the fish had to fry, and since we had mounds of fish
early was the way to go

i watched as aunts and uncles starting the
cleaning process, of these slimy creatures
their preparations were endless
in our tradition we are to have
the Feast of the Seven Fishes
so yes, we must have at least seven kinds of fish served

and that they did
and more

and each of these delightful wonders are prepared 
differently, so our taste buds can truly do a dance
i watch with envy how now my mother does it all alone
when at one time she shared this task with her brothers and sisters 
i now help her fry the fish, but with this is a ritual, we both begin
with the oldest clothes we can fine so we can ditch them
outside after the frying ends
the smell of frying fish can last for days
so to cut down on the smell of our clothes
out the door they go 

the frying takes a while, but mom and i 
have to down to a science, two frying pans
ready to go, me frying, her dipping the fish in a concoction
only she can make, and than handed off to me

split splat goes the oil, ouch and ouch again
but it is totally worth it
for in the end around our table the
fish will be celebrating with us
in only a way a perfectly piece of fish can

after our fish feast, we begin our next journey
onto nuts and fruits
our nuts are brought uncooked
 my mother roasts them in the oven
on Christmas Eve morning
the smell thruout the house
is indescribable
nuts, such as filberts, almonds, walnuts and chestnuts
are put on the table with nutcrackers
and then the cracking sound begins

the fruit, grapes, clementines, and tangelos are all put in 
separate basking around the table, so one can
crack a nut, and take a piece of clementine
and of course mangia

all that is left is coffee and dessert 
and no holiday in a Italian household 
would be without Italian Pastry on Christmas Eve
Calandra's is the best in my area for these pastries
I go early Christmas Eve morning and pick out all
the ones that my family loves
it is so great to end our quest with a perfect desserts
our night could not end without opening some gifts
so we all head to the tree, to call out names and 
the gift giving begins

as the years have gone by, things have changed a bit
mostly the people, some decided to stay home
and do their own traditions
and some have left us, not to enjoy the holiday at
out our table, but certainly in heaven watching over us

this year my two eldest nephews will not be with us
 they are going with their wife's family
so yes it will be different, ever since my eldest was born (30yrs ago)
we have been together for the seven fish feast

things do change, but the memories do not
and i can't tell you enough how this memory 
of Christmas Eve has molded me
it gave me my foundation of what a holiday
is to be for our family
and it goes back to grandparents (on both sides) as this is
what they did on Christmas Eve 
and all these so many years later
we are still doing the same

i am grateful for my elders
in instilling this into my parents, my aunts and uncles
and my cousins
its a wonderful tradition
and in time i know i will be with my nephews
some day, eating Christmas Eve dinner at their home
with their families

i believe in tradition
it makes us who we are

Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 23, 2010

It's that Time

My Christmas Shopping and wrapping of the presents are done! I feel so relieved. Each year I say the same thing "I am not going to get done" but yet I do. I am usually done by the week of Christmas and this year was no different I finished yesterday.

I take such great care to try and pick out the perfect gift for that special someone on my list. I usually succeed, but there have been times, when the person opens the gift and they look at me kinda strange and in that moment I know "not the perfect gift". But its all good because that is what gift receipts are for and the good ole exchange.

I was not to much in the holiday spirit this year, and still don't feel I am. But I pushed myself, as we all do, because we know we have to. This past year has caught me totally off guard and I feel I am running, running with no direction.

These next two days will be busy ones, which I am glad for, as when one is preoccupied, your mood kinda shifts, and I am looking for that mood change. And I guess I have to make it change, cause that Jolly ole fellow in the red suit is on his way.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

If it's broke, I guess ya gotta fix it!

In my home you just never know
when my father will 
pull something off 
that you just have to 
shake your head and laugh
it truly is a crap shoot
cause the odds can go both ways

His slippers broke
so he did what any WW2 veteran would do

He taped them with duck tape

Not much more to say
the picture tells it all!


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Funniest Song Titles

by Shirley

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life,
Then Number Two On You

You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up

If Love were Oil, I’d be a Quart Low

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump

I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)

I Sat Down On a Beartrap (Just This Morning)

Heaven’s Just A Sin Away

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

Gave Her My Heart And a Diamond
And She Clubbed Me With a Spade

It Ain’t Love But It Ain’t Bad

C’mon Down off the Stove, Granny,
You’re Too Old to Ride the Range

Don’t Run Through The Screen Door Honey
You’ll Only Strain Yourself

From The Indies To The Andes In His Undies

If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me
I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It’s Love

I Only Have Eyes For You,
But Look What I’ve Got For Your Sister

Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

~ Stereo Love ~

by Tina~in_ut

My girl child heard this song when she was in Greece over the summer.  When I started playing it, she proudly announced that she heard it first and danced to it with her friend.  I hope you like it as much as we do~

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wat's Yor Escuse?

by Shirley

If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check
out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads.  the following are
actual excuse notes received by teachers.

   Dear School:
     Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32,
     and also 33.

     Please excuse Gloria from Jim today.  She is administrating.

     Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day.  Yesterday he fell out of
     a tree and misplaced his hip.

     John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

     Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.  He was
     hurt in the growing part.

     Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very
     close veins.

     Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

     Please excuse Ray Friday from school.  He has very loose vowels.

     Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday.  He had (several
     mispellings of diarrhea crossed out) the shits.

     Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday.  He had diarrhea and his
     boots leak.

     Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.

     Please excuse Jimmy for being.  It was his father's fault.

     I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because
     I don't know what size she wear.

     Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday.  We forget to
     get the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday,
     we thought it was Sunday.

     Please excuse my son's tardiness.  I forgot to wake him up and I did not
     find him till I started making the beds.

     Sally won't be in school a week from Friday.  We have to attend a

     My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.  She spent the
     weekend with the Marine's.

     Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday.  She was in bed with

     Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

     Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.

     Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
     headache, and upset stomach.  Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
     throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over.  I wasn't
     the berst either, sore throat and fever.  There must be the flu going
     around school, her father even got hot last night.

Friday, December 17, 2010

My Library

by Maureen

I just read a cute book...Free For All by Don Borchert. The author is an Assistant Librarian in Torrance, CA. He writes sweet, silly, scary and sentimental stories about the library.
I first knew I would enjoy the book because he is from Cleveland and works in Torrance. I am from Cleveland and worked in Torrance! How could I not like it? LOL!
Anyhow, as I read the book I thought about how much my library means to me. I really started using the library a couple of years ago. And yes, I do mean "using" the place. I started to frequent it in the summer, when the heat was unbearable. Not only do they have free books, they have free A/C. I could take in my little bottle of water, cozy up in a comfy club chair, read a book, be cool and refill my bottle repeatedly from their fountain. It really was a lovely way to spend a day.
I have been a regular ever since. And due to budget cuts I have seen the library shorten their hours. But, I see the same employees since day 1. And I have come to recognize some of the other regulars, too! There is the guy that uses the computers that has a nasty mullet, the elderly couple that searches the web for airline fares in a regular basis, the kids that have their homework sprawled around them and Facebook on the screen!
I am thankful for the library and what it does for me. I always enjoyed reading, but somehow forgot to find the time to sit down and read. Since I started going back I have read about a book a week. Sometimes, a book a day! I was a slacker this summer having so much of my time taken up because of Joanne, but I got back on track in the fall.
The library also gave me the freedom to play on Facebook, watch some blog vids, watch some YouTubes and keep my mind sharp (SHUDDUP SHIRLEY) with games of Scrabble (which I win over 90% of the time!).
The library also opened my mind to classic movies and my love of Mr. Cary Grant! I have been able to watch many of his movies, watch wonderful clips on YouTube and read 2 biographies of him. I also became a fan of The Thin Man movies, Audrey Hepburn movies, Gene Kelly movies, Fanny Brice and a hole host of other great classics. I would never have discovered this without the library.
My library has given so much to me, that I almost feel guilty. I feel like I owe them something (besides the 30 cents in fines I owe!) in repayment. Other then voting for levys, I don't really know what else I can do.
I guess the best thing to do is continue to frequent it and support it and use it to discover a whole world of things I had yet to learn. That is what they would want me to do. Don Borchert says so!
Do you frequent your local library?
PS...the pic is of my library!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Rusty Chevrolet

by Shirley

(Sung to the tune "Jingle Bells")

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet.
Down the road I go, sliding all the way.
I need new piston rings.  I need some new snow tires.
My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer.
I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer.
Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops.
I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop.

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke.
People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke!
I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway,
Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh!

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.
I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.
The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.
Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusttttttttty Chevroooooooleeeeeet!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Winter Wonderland

by Maureen

I feel that I just have to write a rant. I hafta!

What in heck is wrong with people? I know that is the $64,000 question these days. I'm talking about the morons on the road.

C'mon's a fricking blizzard around us. Use some good old fashioned common sense. And if ya wanna kill yourself, then do it in the privacy of your own home...not on the roadway.

Today we have had major snowfall, gusting winds, blowing snow and almost 0 visibility. Maybe a car length.

And lo and behold the morons are out in all their glory.

TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS. How many living brain cells does it take to do this?  You don't even know they are there until you are on their ass. The law states that if you need your windshield wipers on, you need your lights on. TURN THEM ON!

CLEAN THE SNOW OFF YOUR CAR. I hate it when there is some dipwad driving with a foot of snow on the car and their lights are covered. Then the snow blows off their car onto your car, which you just spent 10 minutes freezing your ass off to clean...lights included. Now my visibility is even less. Talk about the lights being on and nobody home!

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BIG TIRES AND A SMALL DICK DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWN THE ROAD. I can't stand the imbeciles that drive private snow plows. You know, the guys that plow your drive and leave mounds of snow in the road. And think that they can go barreling down the icy snow covered roads like it is a sunny day in May. I don't want you behind me...and I bet you don't wanna be behind me as I creep along at 15mph! Serves ya right ya little Napoleon!

IF YOU WANT TO TURN RIGHT ON RED, DON'T WAIT UNTIL I AM IN THE INTERSECTION TO DO IT. Is that half of second so important that you will risk having the traffic come to a slip-sliding halt? So you can only get stuck at the first red light anyhow. And in your haste cause me to lose a year or two off my life.

If they say there is a great chance of black ice, there probably is.
If the law says you need your lights on, you probably do.
And if I call you a son-of-a bitch and flip you the bird, you probably deserved it.

Ahhh, winter. F/U!!


Monday, December 13, 2010

~ Red Wristband ~

by Tina~in_ut

I watch the Conan show and he made a joke about this one night.  I thought he made it up, so I looked online to see if it was actually true.  I was astounded.  A boss in Norway made a new policy stating that all women must wear a red wristband when on their period so that everyone would know that they needed more restroom time than others.  It was only discovered when a worker's union was doing a study on tyrannical restroom rules among Norwegian companies.  Obviously, the women were humiliated.

This same study uncovered other companies requiring employees to sign a visitor's book, or use a key card, and even went as far as to use video surveillance for restroom visits.  I thought it was bad because I only have a certain amount of time to use each day for breaks, including restroom visits.  Ha!  I guess it's true what people say.....It could always be worse!~

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Let it Be....

Gyldne Tider (Golden Times) is a Norwegian TV-show, where the three guys (in red shirts in the video) travel around the world to visit the stars they loved when they were kids. These are the stars they have visited. They are all lip-syncing over the Stock/Aitken/Waterman produced version of  Let it Be (Ferry Aid) from the 80s.
I loved it!

Saturday, December 11, 2010


by Bonachichi
Sometimes work gets so frustrating, you just have to escape. I used to fret and worry, which just made it worse. Now I embrace the absurd. What do you do when work or life gets to you?

Friday, December 10, 2010

~ George in Sudan ~

by Tina~in_ut

My hubby came home late one night and was stunned.  He wanted to know why I was watching something real, something current, something important.  I never watch Dateline.  Then he saw my George and he moved on..."Ahhhh! I get it now!  If George is involved, then you'll pay attention!"  Sadly, that is true.  I had no idea that Sudan was headed for another civil war.  I didn't know that the South wants to secede and that if it happens, there will probably be bloodshed because of the amount of oil the south has.  If you missed that episode of Dateline, see if you can watch it online or catch it if they re-run it.  It was so well done, and if I may say, it'll make you love George even more.  George Clooney isn't just another pretty face~    

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

You can't read this, Not Laugh, and be in a bad mood!

by Maureen

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?

They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?


6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?


7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?

Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?

Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?


13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?

Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?

Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?

Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

20. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

Monday, December 6, 2010


by Shirley

Top 10 Girls’ Names of 2010                      Top 10 Boys’ Names of 2010

            Sophia                                                           Aiden    
            Isabella                                                          Jacob
            Olivia                                                             Jackson
            Emma                                                            Ethan
            Chloe                                                            Jayden  
            Ava                                                               Noah
            Lily                                                                Logan 
            Madison                                                        Caden
            Addison                                                         Lucas  
            Abigail                                                           Liam      
Among the less popular names now moving up the girls' list are Isla, Adalyn, Giuliana, Olive, Kinsley, Evangeline, Paisley, Vivienne, Maci, and Kinley. And although Bentley, Kellan, Kingston, Aarav, Ryker, Beckett, Colt, Paxton, Jax, and Lincoln are well below the top 100 on the boys' list, they're all fast climbers.

What and Why did you name your child/children what you did? Did the father/fathers take part in the naming process? Do you know why YOU have the name that you do? Do you like it? Why? Why not? Do you like any of the names above? Would you ever use them?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

~ City of Silver Dreams ~

by Tina~in_ut

lol~  This is the only video I could find of this song. I don't know who made it....just like the song!  Again....from Sugarland.  Enjoy~