Pages

Friday, February 11, 2011

ADULT TRUTHS...

by Maureen

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

21 comments:

DeeDee said...

BAM!!

DeeDee said...

I woke up with this piercing pain in my buttocks....

Lynn D said...

Morning glories!

Deedee is Bam Beautiful this morning and evidently had her buttocks pierced. Seems kind of painful to me, but to each his own.

Mo I liked all of these but I have some comments:

5. Ask Martha Stewart. No really I saw her show one day and she was giving instructions on the correct way to fold a fitted sheet. Geeeeeeez. Yeah I have time for that. NOT life is to fucking short just wad it up and throw it in the cupboard.

6. NO

7. Is for Me and Heidi. The rest of you may not need directions out of your neighborhood but since my family calls me wrong way I do! I knew Heidi and I were separated at birth.

16. So True!

23 LMAO!

Waving a wing at everyone.

DeeDee said...

those are good Maureen!

I agree that obituaries should be more detailed....when I see an obit of a 50 year old woman and it says..."died at her home"...I'm like...OF WHAT!!....sometimes I even will call the funeral home and ask them...but you have to call late...to make sure no "family" is there....only funeral home employees...
and act like you knew the deceased...I usually act despondent...like I just got the news....and say something like "OMG I just heard about Betty...WHAT HAPPENED!?"

And google maps!! That does drive me crazy!!
1. Pull out of your driveway...

DeeDee said...

Hi Lynn D!

I didn't get my butt pierced...I just have a stabbing sensation...its very annoying..

LMAO at "wad it up and throw it in the cupboard!!"

hilarious!!

whats a cupboard?

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee- Bam-a-licious today..nice..and beautiful too. :)

I am sorry to hear you woke up with a piercing pain in your buttocks..I hope that you are okay and it is nothing serious.

LynnD: LOL..wow, DeeDee had her buttocks pierced..no wonder she had a pain! yowch.

Mo: Very funny!! Loved those. :)

DeeDee (again): Read further down and saw you did not pierce your buttocks..I hope you are alright. I can't tell whether you are leading up to a joke or if you are serious..if you are serious..I hope it gets better soon.

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters1
BAM back at you DeeDee.

Who the hell folds fitted sheets?

Lynn, we were seperated at birth- I am 100% sure! :)

MO- loved your blog~very funny (and oh so true)

Hi Bebbi and to all those join in later.

DeeDee said...

I think Shirley is jabbing the ass of a voodoo doll with a needle...

I have one in a vise grip by the boob..we'll see how that goes...

sacBarb said...

Happy Friday Owls.

Mo, These are funny, but true. I so identify with #18, boredom vs hunger, especially late at night. LMAO @ #23.

Lynn, Screw Martha, I just wait til the sheets are dry and put them right back on the bed.

Dee, BAM back at ya.

Waving a wing to all the other Owls.

Headed to Sharon's. We are going to Burlington Coat Factory so I can return a gift, then to her niece's for a Pampered Chef party. I AM NOT BUYING ANYTHING! I already have so much PC stuff and since I don't cook much, all of it is almost like new. BBL

Bebbilane said...

Sacbarb: LOL at "screw Martha"..

..and sure, you won't buy anything, you know the pressure you will feel...right? ..he he. :)

I hope everyone is having a happy Friday! :)

Zona said...

Good Afternoon!

MO: These are great! #10 I find so true..unfortunately! If you ever get a good answer to #19..let me know..I live this! I have to amend #21..sometimes I look 3 times before I remember I'm not even wearing a watch! LOL @ #23!

And just so you know..I had to search the keyboard for that dang # sign every time! No short term memory..I'm tellin' ya.. :D

DEEDEE: Hello Gorgeous! Please put voodoo dolls away! :D

LYNN: I don't try to fold fitted sheets anymore either..as long as it fits in the closet rolled up in a ball..it gets put away..close enough.. ;D

SACBARB: I'm going to call you later to see what you bought.. ;D

GOLDIE: Sheet Folder at DEEDEE's..otherwise..no one.. ;)

BEBBI: Happy Friday to you too Sunshine! :)

Why do I have to sign in AFTER I submit a comment now? Doesn't Blogger know I don't do well with change? ;)

Bebbilane said...

Zona!! good day! :)

DeeDee said...

well it seems a shame to me to press a sheet and wad it into a ball....

Kathy...I did have a start after that post about the vd doll...I thought OMG thats Kathys doll with its ta-ta in that grip!!!

They are so easy to get mixed up....but it wasn't yours....as soon as I thought it I noticed that yours was back up high on that shelf....remember...the shelf it fell off of....so everything is cool....

DeeDee said...

and Bebbi...I am going to just leave ur doll in the magic happy dust....it seems to work really well for you...and ur not nearly as annoying...ah! I mean I like it better when you are happy...

kiss kiss...love you...mean it...

Tina~in_ut said...

Mo~ those were great~ I LOVED the one about "every kiss begins with Kay"!~ AND the car one~ so right~

DeeDee~ congrats on prettiest~ and maybe if he pulled it outta that hole and put it in ur other one, it wouldn't hurt~ ijs~

Hi to everyone~ :D

Tina~in_ut said...

oh.....and I forgot to tell you all...I can fold a fitted sheet~ It's not hard~ I'm weird that way, I guess~

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi....

MO: Great list of things. I love the one about the alarm clock.....and I can't fold a fitted sheet either but then I don't have anyone to iron them for me !! (DEEDEE)

Went to the doctor today with x-rays in hand to be sure nothing is broken on me. I also went to the dentist and my front tooth is loose so he thinks it will reattach itself in a couple of weeks. Pain in the a@@ and the arm, face, knee, hand and foot....actually!

Ccngratulations on first DEEDEE....you are the best "bammer" I know.

TINA: Who taught you how to fold a fitted sheet? That is a surprise to me about someone that washes clothes without water!! j/s

Hello to everyone that flies in later and to LYNN< BEBBI, GOLDIE, ZONA AND SACBARB.

Is J/L already gone to Idaho?

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!
What a surrise to see a blog topic (is that the correct way to put it, DEE DEE?)by me!!

DEE DEE...you look lovely today! Even with SHIRLEY sticking your ass!

LYNN...LOL @ just wadding up the sheets! I do fold them, but I have NEVER ironed sheets or pillow cases! Why bother! I don't even make the bed...unless company is coming. Shit, just gonna mess it up again!

BEBBI...How's tricks? Too funny thinking of DEE DEE getting her ass pierced!

GOLDIE...good question about who really folds sheets! I fold them..but not so nicely! Usually though I wash and re-use the same ones. Even though I have a closet full of sheet sets! BTW...it's nice to see you posting again!

ZONA...The answer to #19 is 4! BTW, the burrito was yummers!

SACBARB...I didn't even know there was a line to cross! Inquiring minds want to know...what PC items did you end up getting? LOL!

TINA...Hi Cupcake ;)~
Thanks for publishing my entry! Unless it is really DIANNE'S entry! bwahahaha

DIANNE...I'm glad nothing was broken. LOL@ TINA doing laundry with no laundry!

Thanks all for your comments today!

Maureen said...

TINA...just one of the ways you are weird! But that's why we love you so much!

SACBARB...I'm sorry I didn't post on your blog yesterday. I really enjoyed reading about your adventure. Spending time like that with such old and dear friends is really such a blessing. It kinda reminded me of our get away to Chicago...well except for needing the GPS since we never left the hotel!!!

Maureen said...

What the hell is up with Blogger?

sacBarb said...

I did not buy anything...the PC party was canceled at the last minute. The consultant is sick so I assume it will be rescheduled.

Dee, I hope the pain in your A$$ is gone.

Where is J/L?? Did I miss something? Is she traveling again?

Good night and sweet dreams everyone. Happy Saturday to you all.