Quarter Back!!

by Jodi

Don't Mess With Old Ladies in an Impala!

by Jodi

Corps of Brothers - 75 Years of Survival

by Jodi

My nephew James is living his dream this summer.  He tried out and made The Madison Scouts colorguard line.  This is the video that my SIL shot of their final run thru after their dress rehearsal.  Enjoy!!!

Brian J. Ouellette

This is the Navy Seal that James is representing in the 75th anniversary edition of the Madison Scouts. He was killed in a Humvee attack on May 29th, 2004 during operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. He was one of four killed in the attack and the fifth man from his base in Virginia Beach who died in combat.  What a beautiful way to honor those that have given the ultimate sacrifice!

"A Corps of Brothers - 75 Years of Survival"

OZ The Great and Powerful

by Jodi

Have you seen the trailer for Oz The Great and Powerful?  Looks like great fun!!  The Wizard of Oz is still one of my all-time favorite movies, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out!

 

I'll Remember You

by Jodi

For Tinka

It is the 40^th Anniversary of Elvis’ Aloha from Hawaii concert.  I vaguely remember my Mom watching it.  It truly was a big deal back in 1973.  Broadcast via satellite to over one billion viewers worldwide.  How many of you remember watching?  Hard to believe that just 4 years later we would lose such an awesome performer.  Enjoy ♥

 

Never Wax Your Hoo Ha

by Jodi

I got the following from my friend Sandy that used to work at my store.  I havent' stopped giggling since.

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal.  The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now the wax.  Read on…

My night began as any other normal weeknight.  Fix dinner and watch the grandkids come and go.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours…”maybe I should get the waxing kit from the medicine cabinet”.

So I headed to the site of my demise:  the bathroom.

It was one of those “cold wax” kits.  No melting a clump of hot wax; you just rub the strips together in your hand.  They get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.  No muss, no fuss.  How hard can it be?

I mean, I’m not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out…..YA THINK?!!?  So I pull one of the thin strips out.  Its two strips facing each other….stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.  “Cold wax”….yeah, right!!  I lay the strip across my thigh, hold the skin around it tight and pull.  It works!!!

Ok, so it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad.  I can do this!!  Hair removal no longer eludes me!  I am She-rah.  Fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.  After checking on the family, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship.  I drop my granny panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).  I inhale deeply and brace myself…..RRRRIIIPPPP!!!

I’m blind!!!  Blinded from pain.  O M G!!!!!  Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half the strip.  CRAP!!!  Another deep breath and RIP!!!  Everything is spinning and spotted.  I think I may pass out.  I must stay conscious….I must stay conscious.  Do I hear crashing drums?!!?  Breathe, breathe…OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy.  A wax covered strip.   The one that has caused me so much pain; with my hairy pelt sticking to it.  I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.   I hold up the strip.  There’s no hair on it.  Where is the hair?????  WHERE IS THE WAX???  Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.  I see the hair.  The hair that should be on the strip.  It’s not!!!  I touch it.  I am touching wax.  I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake.  Remember my foot is still propped on the toilet, so I put my foot down.  Sealed shut!!  My butt is sealed shut.  I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself “Please don’t let me get the urge to poop”….my head may pop off!!!

What can I do to melt the wax?  Hot water!  Hot water melts wax!  I’ll run the hottest water I can stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe if off, right?!!?  I get in the tub.  The water is slightly hotter than used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment.  I sit.  Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.  In scalding hot water…which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.

So now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!  God Bless the AT&T man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!  I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.  It’s a very good conversation starter.  “So, my butt and hoo ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!!”  There is a slight pause.  She doesn’t know any secret tricks for removal, but she does try to hide her laughter from me.  She wants to know exactly where the wax is located.  “Are we talking cheeks or hoo ha?”  She’s laughing out loud by now.  I can hear her.  I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.  YEAH….RIGHT!!!  I should be the joke of someone else’s night.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor.  Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!  

By now the brain is not working.  Dignity has taken a major hike and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.  My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace….the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.  What do I really have to lose at this point?  

I rub some on the area and O M G!!!!  The scream probably woke the family and scared the dickens out of my friend.  It is sooooo painful, but I really don’t care.  IT WORKS!!!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.  I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair….THE HAIR IS STILL THERE….ALL OF IT!!!  So I recklessly shave it off.  Heck, I’m numb by now.  Nothing hurts.  I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I’m going to try coloring my hair.  How bad can that turn out?!!?

Gilbert Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades of Grey

by Jodi

Hello and thank you for calling.....

by Jodi

This was posted by John Taylor of the band Duran Duran today.  It totally made me LMBO!!  Enjoy :)

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

The Carol of the Day

by Jodi

It’s that time of year again.  And as much as I enjoy seeing everyone’s posts about the season, one FB friend is just cracking me up!!  She has been posting a snippet of lyrics every day.  I’m calling it The Carol of the Day.  The only thing is, she can’t spell worth a crap!!  Thus my amusement.  Enjoy!!

1.           and the song for the day is.......chestnuts roasting on a open fire jack frost nipping at your nose......

2.         Feel free to add on to the song of the day......Oh come all ye faithful joyful

3.         Todays song ......It came upon A Mid night Clear that glories sound of all. With Angle standing near the..............

4.         Todays song (whiCh I thought I did at 1 ). On eveRy street conneR you'll hear Silver bells Silver bells its christmas time in the city. Hear them ring

5.         Todays song.......... Over the river and threw the woods to grandma's house we go the horse knows the way.........

6.         The song for the day: silent night holy night all is clam all is bright........

And just a mere 24 hours later…a slight variation:

7.        Todays song......silent night holly night all is claim all is bright

It has been the first thing I check when I get up!!  She is truly a sweet person.  Is it ignorance or auto correct.  I have no idea!!