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Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Other Cook

by Dianne

A wife was making a breakfast, fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too
many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more
butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You
NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry
up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt
them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE
THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
Do you think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied,

"I just wanted to show you how it feels when I'm driving."

78 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Good morning, HOoters!

Dianne Thanks for the laugh this morning! None of us would do that, right? I bet you wouldn't even do it to your granddaughter.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I used to have my own ball and bag. Bowling is a lot of fun but it bothers my back too much now to do it anymore.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Ha!!! That would NEVER happen here. I don't cook eggs AND prefer to drive!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Aren't you stunning today! I've only had to bowl once this season so far, but I can tell u my back was fine, but definitely felt it in my hips the next day! Now that I have my ball fixed and my own shoes, I really should practice!! I'm not exactly what you would call a consistent bowler. Ha!!

Mary/MI said...

Thanks for the wishes!
Not sure when my sister's next surgery is. She is feeling better, but sadly her light dementia is causing some problems. How sad that we will all have to go through this "growing old thing" with our kids.

I quit bowling when #1, I hurt my knee at work, and #2,when I heard a loud *snap* when I released my bowling ball! I was a lousy bowler anyway lol!

btw, they only time I "back seat drive" is when we are at or near stop signs. If he even "looks" like he doesn't see it, I am on him like stink on shit lol!!

Jodi said...

Waving a wing at MARY!! Thankfully it's more about having fun with this league :)

Jodi said...

Have a great day HOoters!!

Mary/MI said...

Still nursing this dam cold! I only went out for a short time today... another funeral! I swear if one of you drop dead in the next few weeks I will scream lol!
It was the Mother of a friend. She was 74 and from what I hear, had a rough life. Sadly there is a lot of smoking and drinking in the family.
The younger generation not so much thank goodness!

I am going to nap for a while and then hit my farms again :)

Just_Lin said...

Mary Hope you get over your cold soon. I've been sniffing a lot this evening and am remembering the guy I was sitting next to on the plane two nights ago that sneezed a couple of times and was sniffing throughout the flight. :(

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Throw any gutter balls?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Where are you? Out driving with your granddaughter?

Dianne/Denver said...

I'm here...hellooooo

I've been busy with my cousins from Texas. Tomorrow is our family party. I love family things usually. Lol.

JL...hope you're not getting sick. Take some vit c.

Mary, hope you get better. Back in that sauna you go. Sorry you had another funeral to go to. We will try and stay healthy.

I'm still having that dsmn pain in my face into my tooth. I will be glad to go to the root canal guy on Wednesday as this has been going on too long.

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi..another big game Sunday night. When is your game.

Jodi said...

Good morning HOoters!

Jodi said...

MARY - So sorry you had another funeral to go to. I hope you can get more rest this weekend and kick that cold's ass!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I haven't had a chance to try out my ball after getting it drilled. I'm sure I'll throw a few ;)

Jodi said...

DIANNE - We play Sunday afternoon. We best leave by noon so I can watch the game!! I see Denver is playing in Indianapolis. That is the stadium that DCI Finals was at!!

Jodi said...

Heading out in a couple of hours. Before my Uncle Jerry's funeral Aunt Jane hadn't seen her brother since we went to Ohio in June, so I had promised that I would take her down to see him this month. Tim is coming with us and LOIS and her hubby are meeting us for dinner tonight!! Should be a fun time! Uncle Kenny got us a hotel room about 15 minutes from where he lives in DeKalb. Good thing Tim is going with. He can be our designated driver tonight!!

I best get in the shower. I still have to pack my bag and clean out the trunk of my car. We have to swing by my store before we leave town to gas up and Kenny wants me to bring some Spotted Cow down!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Thinking of you today.

Jodi said...

Cheers SLIN!! Just finished my first cold beer. That Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale is delicious!

Mary/MI said...

Safe travels everyone!
I feel bad that Jim & I were unable to volunteer at our VFW dinner today, but I didn't want us to "spread the love" lol! Jim isn't too happy that we "re-gifted" our colds to him!
Have a great week end everyone! AAAACCCCHHHHOOOO!!
I will stay on the top branch lol!

Jodi said...

Tim is helping Uncle Kenny finish chores and then we are heading into town to meet LOIS and her hubby for dinner.

Jodi said...

MARY - Waving at u on that top branch!! Feel better roomie <3

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi...how was your dinner? I sure you had fun. Our game is a big deal tomorrow because it's against the Colts and they are having a big celebration for Peyton manning before we whip their butts. It's kind of weird

Mary..stay way up on that branch, please. No germs wanted!!! Get better soon.

JL...did you end up with a cold too? Hope not.

Barb...having lots of fun? Hope you can check in soon

Had fun at my family party today. Everyone came so my daughter ended up with about 40 people. I woke up with quite a fat lip. I think it's from this tooth problem and it ever quits hurting

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm so sorry about your tooth. I guess that's why you hurt under your nose, right? I stayed home and took it easy today. A little sneezing and a little sniffling but so far it hasn't turned into a full blown cold. Maybe it's allergies.

Today I swept spider webs off the front of the house and then put up fake spider webs for Halloween. LOL

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Bet you had a good time at dinner. Are you still laughing now or are you conked out?

Just_Lin said...

Mary I'm throwing a box of tissue to you up there on that high branch. Hope you feel better soon.

Jodi said...

Dinner was fun!! So happy that LOIS finally got to meet Jane and Kenny!! Jane said that she felt like she already knew her!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - When r u going back to the dentist? Doesn't sound like much fun :-(

Jodi said...

SLIN - We were back at the hotel by 11pm. LOIS's daughter was their DD and she had to work early today.

Jodi said...

Tim got up early and drove out to the farm to help Kenny with chores. Jane and I are taking our time. He is coming back to pick us up later. Kenny put a pot roast in the slow cooker for our lunch.

I will check in when I get home. Wishing u all a peaceful Sunday <3

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Yum! Pot Roast! Wish I had some here.

Jodi said...

SLIN - It was sooo good!! Potatos, baby carrots and acorn squash were the sides.

Jodi said...

Watching the Packer game and trying not to fall asleep. Too late for a nap!!

Jodi said...

35!!!

Mary/MI said...

8 boxes of Kleenex between us and I think we may be rounding the corner!
A bonus, my son gets hacking cough whenever he lights a cig! Hasn't smoked in days! I told him,"Good time to quit!"

JL, LOL,I sure can use the extra tissues!

Missing you Barb!

Jodi, What a great visit! I make pot roast once in a while. Not as good as back in the day when yhey left the bone in. That added so much more flavor. My Mother was the pot roast champ! Every Sunday she would put it on low while we went to church. By the time we got home it was falling off the bone :)

Dianne, my Lions and Tigers lost :( Looks like your Broncs better hustle! 3rd quarter and they are down. I need to shake my tassels!

Just_Lin said...

Mary Glad you're rounding the corner. You are right that it would be a great time for your son to quit smoking. He's already gone through the hardest first days.

All this pot roast talk.....making me hungry.

Jodi said...

MARY - You best stay on that top branch another day. I can't afford to get sick!! Tough day for your teams :(

Jodi said...

SLIN - We would often have pot roast for Sunday dinner, so it was a treat to have that with family ♥

Jodi said...

I best get my ass going!! I'm opening with my boss this morning :D

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Tough loss for the Broncos! On the otherhand, the Packers won and we are in 1st place in our division :-)

Just_Lin said...

HOdi My Niners won. It was a fun game to watch.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Woot woot for a 9'ers win :-D

sacBarb said...

G'day. We are in a very small town near canberra. Only McDonald's has free wifi and it's been down since we got here, so we are at the Library where we paid $2 for 30 min. Our room is right on a river and is very pretty and peaceful. Much slower pace than Sydney. We leave here on Friday. I have no time to catch up on comments this time. 30 min. goes fast. Hope you are all well.

Mary/MI said...

Glad you checked in Barb. loving the pics!
I am still a snotty nosed kid so I will keep my upper perch..... :(

Jodi said...

Thanks fir checking in BARB!! Waving at you from Wisconsin :-D

Jodi said...

Fir?!!? Lmbo....for!!!

Jodi said...

MARY - You may be a snotty nosed kid, but u r still cute as hell :-)

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Everyone ....went to mt knee dr for my one year check up and all is well except my face is so swollen. I go to dentist on Wednesday. Called her today to tell about my face and it hurts. Knee dr put me on antibiotics. He said infection will go right to my joints especially my knee. He was not happy about dentist.

Hi barb...enjoying the pictures.

Yes Jodi, it was a hard loss yesterday. We are now in second place. Yea for you being in first place. Sounds like you had a great weekend.

Mary, you did twirl hard and fast enough. You kept stopping to sneeze and the broncos lost!!!

JL..glad you are feeling okay. I think all that pot roast sounds yummy too, bout makes me want to cook. Went out for Italian food with friend tonight but now my nose, eye and cheek are hurting bad.

Ok off to sleep. Night all

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Ooh, I'm so sorry about the pain from your tooth. I hope you get relief today.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Thanks for staying on the infirmary perch. Let me know if you need more tissues. I agree with Hodi....you're still cute, even with a red nose.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Waving a wing at you. What's it like in your neck of the woods? I see blue skies and low clouds. It's about 50 here at the moment.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Waving a wing at you way across the big pond. Can you see me?

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Glad your knee Dr put you on antibiotics!! Good luck at the dentist ♥

Jodi said...

SLIN - Bluish skies, with a few clouds. Hovering around 42* this afternoon. Chance of rain/snow later. I am NOT ready for this!! I did get our energy bill. Thankfully that has gone DOWN!! About $50 bucks less than when we were having to run the air conditioning!!

Jodi said...

MARY - You must've dripped on me ;) Been sneezing my fool head off this afternoon and kinda feel like something's coming on. Making some green tea with a side of Emergen-C!

Mary/MI said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary/MI said...

That was my delete. I hit send, half way through my comment. Now I forgot what I wrote lol!

Mary/MI said...

booger brain

Mary/MI said...

snotty kid

Mary/MI said...

snotty kid

Mary/MI said...

double posting dribble

Dianne/Denver said...

Face still swollen and hurting...going to dentist tomorrow. I'm irritated with this whole deal. I'm one inch from going back to my old dr.

Beautiful day here in the high 60's and 70 Sunday and then snow next week. Get ready Mary and Jodi as I'll be blowing it your way.

Jodi, I hope you tea made you feel better. You are too busy to be sick.

JL..stay away from those runny nose owls. Come over here by swollen me. I'm not contagious.

Wonder what barbs weather is like on her trip? She's gone on her birthday next week. Fun way to celebrate.

Jodi said...

MARY - Love your snotty march!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Tea was good!! I will be drinking more of it everyday. Its part of my winter regiment. I fell asleep earlyish....and now I can't sleep :-( Doesn't help that my hubby has a fire going and I'm sweating my ass off!!

sacBarb said...

Posted a little on FB so I won't repeat those. We drove about 400 miles today just touring around. Sharon is getting good at driving on the left side of the road. We leave this place on Friday to go to a resort near Melbourne. Will check in again when I can. 😘😍

Jodi said...

BARB - What a fantastic trip you r having!!

Jodi said...

68

Jodi said...

69!!!

Jodi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jodi said...

Delete was mine...don't know what I was laughing about! Wanted to post.....aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - How did it go at the dentist today? Thinking of you ♥

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi..went bad at dentist and I'm now on Vicodin. I'm infected (no shit). Did a hole thru the tooth that is part of a bridge and put medicine in for two weeks. Have me a weeks worth of antibiotics and Vicodin...which I'm taking. The tooth I'd close to front so shots went into my gums under front lip ..hurt like a you know what and still does hours later.

Dianne/Denver said...

Where is everyone besides Jodi and myself today? Out playing?

Mary...any better? Want some of my drugs?

Jodi said...

DIANNE - At least u know what it is. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon and do its job! And maybe a whiskey chaser will help knock u out so u can at least sleep!! ;-)

Jodi said...

75!!

Jodi said...

Last night our bowling team practiced. Not sure it really did any good, but I do know that my ball feels great after having the holes redrilled! Love my new shoes, but they need to be broken in because they don't "slide" well yet.

Jodi said...

When we were bowling last night, my bosses fiance Dustin was talking about going to the club tonight to see a Cher impersonator. I have Friday off, so I'm going too!! He showed me pics and this guy looks soooo much like her!! The only thing is that the show doesn't start til at least 10:30 pm, so I'll have to take a big nap this afternoon!! Should be a fun night :D