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Friday, February 7, 2014

Lexiphile

by Mary/MI



       Lexiphile is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, like: 
                      "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish….."
or….........

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . .. . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. . . . They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry . . . it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.  
Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.

61 comments:

sacBarb said...

LOLOLOLOL I love puns, intended or not.

sacBarb said...

Helloooo.

Did anyone watch Jay Leno's last Tonight Show? It was so touching and I never thought I'd see him get emotional like he did. I'm going to miss him, but I think Jimmy Fallon will do a great job. I already watch him and I can't imagine he will host the Tonight Show very differently than his current show. I am anxious to see how Seth Meyers does as new host of the Late Night Show. I've always liked him on SNL and the few times he co-hosted with Kelly Ripa.

sacBarb said...

I hope everyone is having a good day. We are finally getting a little rain again and it is so welcome. I am still working on the scrapbook and making some progress, but it is taxing my little brain.

Mary/MI said...

Barb, You are beautiful & all alone in the big ole tree tonight!

I watched Leno too. I almost started crying :(
I am not a J Fallan fan. I do like Seth. I will check him out for sure.

I am glad you are getting rain Barb. We are all getting anxious for spring here! I saw on the news today that Michigan has had over 90" of snow! A record for us and winter is not over yet :(
I bought an ipad air I have been trying to figure it out. Oye vey!

sacBarb said...

HELLOOOOO hellooooo hellooooo
(that was supposed to be an echo)

Where is everyone? Are you all watching the Olympics? I watched the Opening ceremonies. They had a lot of interesting and amazing new technology elements and a TON of people. It always amazes me how so many people can stay in unison. I'm always looking for the one who is out of step or out of line. LOL

sacBarb said...

Mary, OMG, that's 7 1/2 feet of snow. Are there places where it hasn't melted and is piled up that high?

sacBarb said...

J/L, If you're lurking, I'm sure you're having fun. Safe travels.

Mary/MI said...

Barb, i guess it's just you and me..I? Barb , which is correct lol!
Anyhooooot, Our temps have not been above freezing in a long time, so, no snow has melted, packed down maybe, but not melted. The snow is so packed down that it is hard to move even with the plows. We have piles everywhere! My biggest fear is that it will all melt at once and our basement will flood :(

I watched the opening of the Olympics too. All I could think of was all the work that went into arranging it all! Some of it was confusing lol!

sacBarb said...

Mary, That would be terrible if it flooded your basement. We don't have basements in Cali...earthquakes ya know! The Opening ceremonies took a lot of organization. I have organized some fairly big meetings but they didn't take any rehearsals, etc. I wouldn't have wanted to be responsible for anything that big.

Jodi said...

BARB - Looking pretty at 1st!! I didn't watch Jay's last show. As you know, that's about 2 1/2 hours into my sleep! I think Jimmy will do a great job!

Jodi said...

MARY - Love the play on words! Good luck with your iPad Air!

Jodi said...

I didn't get a chance to watch the opening ceremonies. I chose instead to go out Friday night! Great drag show and there was a local cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show that performed, too! It was all to benefit a little boy with leukemia.

Jodi said...

Yesterday I washed clothes and we went out for prime rib. The diner that we love in the next town has prime rib on Saturday night for only $13.49! It's not the fanciest place, but the food is good and reasonable!

Jodi said...

Jumping in the shower soon. We have to be on the road in about 45 minutes. Jake has a wrestling tournament today in Mineral Point and it's an hour away.

Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

It was quite a day. Jake won all 4 of his matches and took 1st place in his bracket. Yay!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Yea Jake. What a good wrestler he is winning about every match. That's great...congratulations

Yesterday was our Anniversary of 11 years. We ended up staying home and ordering pizza...boring. Louis had some dental work and asnt feeling great. We r going to try and go out in the afternoon for early bird special on Friday and see if we can get In somewhere with the older folks like Louis and I.

Expecting more light snow tomorrow and the 60 on Wednesday and on the weekend. I'm telling u it's hard to know if I should be wearing long underwear or a bikini!!

How's that scrapbook coming, Barb? Seems like your putting in lots of hours on it. Glad to hear you are getting some rain out there. Do u want some snow? I'm watching the Olympics every night. Lots of work done on opening ceremony but I thought it was a little boring. Tonight I recorded the Beatles special
I'm sure it will bring back old memories.

JL....hope your having a fun trip. I'm pretty sure you are......

Gosh Mary, I sure hope you don't have any flooding. What a mess water can make. I'm always worried about pipes freezing and bursting it gets so cold and then warms up so fast sometimes here. Our mountains are getting tons on snow..so that is good.

Jodi, did you have a fun weekend off? Once again ...I sure wish we all lived closer for movies and eating out and hanging out. Oh well.....

It was kind of boring without football today too. I guess I'm saying it was an overall boring weekend. Tomorrow is exciting ...I think I have a dr appt that was made a year ago. Theyve moved to a new location that I don't know where it is and didn't get a reminder call on Friday as they usually do. I left a message so hopefully someone will call me back in the early morning.

Oh here's a story...I had lunch plans on Friday on the other side of tow about 45 mom away with a friend that works out there. We were meeting about 1 but I call her when I'm getting close for her to leave. I set alarm and woke up about 7 and stayed awake for ab hour and kept alarm set and went back to sleep. I woke up at 1:15pm. Holy shit..I literally jumped out of bed and called her to explain...no,answer...now I'm freaking that she left to meet me. I start getting ready (no shower gross), wet hair and then she calls me back. She was so sweet and said she could go late but not for such a long lunch or it would be time for her to go home. I rushed and arrived at 2:15. That was some big rushing. Needless to say, I bought lunch!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Whew...that was a long post. I guess that's up what happens when I don't post for a couple of days.

Guess I'll get ready for sleep since hopefully drs office will be calling me. Night

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Congrats to you and Louis on 11 years!! Another sub zero morning here, but we will be in the 20's and maybe the 30's by Thursday. Whoopee!!! And thank you. Jake really loves wrestling. It has become his favorite sport. I just can't wait til next year when he might have more people to wrestle in high school. They ended up putting him and 2 of his teammates in the same bracket. Over 300 kids at this tournament and he had to wrestle two of his teammates. Lame!!!

Jodi said...

BARB - What happened to your posts. They were on my phone, but not here. Weird!!

Jodi said...

MARY - I just checked. We've only gotten a little over 42" of snow for the season. U win!!! ;)

Jodi said...

SLIN - Waving a wing *when you cum up for air* ♥

Dianne/Denver said...

Naughty

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I am wondering the same thing! I thought I may have dreamed that I posted so I'm glad you saw it.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I'm making great progress on the scrapbook. I have done about 30 pages already, most of which are the family pics (grands & great-grands, etc.). I have just started to work on the baby/toddler pics. I will probably end up with about 50 pages. I'm aiming to have it done by March 14 when I'm going to San Diego for Todd's birthday. I think I can do it.

Jodi said...

BARB - At first I thought maybe MICHAEL was playing a trick on us ;-)

sacBarb said...

Jodi, LOL Maybeeee he is!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Naughty? Who? Me?

Mary/MI said...

Good afternoon!
I am feeling gloomy today. So tired of our damp cold temps. Funny how sometimes our moods mimic the weather. I have tried working out to get this body in shape for spring. It seems like every winter I add more lbs to this short body!
I ordered a new bathing suit for my trip to the Dominican Republic in April. I am going with some of my ex-co workers. Most are younger than me. I am going to do nothing but relax by the ocean and they can romp all they want lol! It is all inclusive. I may venture into the casino :)

Where did JL go? I must have missed that memo.
Time to get my ass to the basement for my work out....

Jodi said...

MARY - I totally understand how u feel. Hopefully the end is in sight, at least with these frigid temps. Love u lady, and u rock the shit outta your cute little self!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

JL is in Idaho on a short vacation. I guess she is sightseeing. Lol. So to speak.

Dianne/Denver said...

We could all move to Arizona. Zona says 90 on the weekend. I think that means a hot summer for them. You can come here for the weekend. It's predicted to be "warm and 65". I'd love a visit. I think I'll take my weather over Arizona any day or Texas too. I like the no humidity thing here.

Mary, that will be a fun trip. I'd just hang out too and go to the casino. Guess we could travel together!!

Yes Jodi...YOU!!'

How was bowling? I've been home for too many days so taking kids to dinner tonight. Dr appt canceled Monday, lunch canceled today....cabin fever getting high for me. I made reservations for valentines day dinner at 4pm like old people so we could get a seat without a forever wait. I'll be looking for cookies by ten.

Barb, wow it sounds like you are really making good progress on you scrapbook. You have lots of energy. I wish you would send me some

Enjoying the Olympics. At least it gives something to watch at night.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Bowling was fun! Not my best night, but thankfully they don't judge! And I was just going with the theme if the blog.....u know, a play on words :-D

sacBarb said...

No rain today. :( You guys need to get dancing again!

sacBarb said...

Dianne, LOL @ looking for cookies by 10. If I ate dinner that early, I'd be looking for cookies by 8 and popcorn by 10.

sacBarb said...

Mary, sounds like a fun trip. I'd be spending my time at the beach, too.

sacBarb said...

Hi Jodi and JL (if you're lurking)

Jodi said...

BARB - Waving a wing back! Woke up a little while ago. I thought the clock said 1:15. When I wake up at that time, I just stay up, because my alarm goes off at 2am. Well, freakin' a, I just realized its not even midnight. I guess my Kleenex was blocking the first 1. Can u say dumbass? I guess I will go lay down on the couch and take a nap!!

Jodi said...

Merrrrrnin' HOoters!! I'm up for real now :)

Just_Lin said...

Good morning, HOoters!

Well, that was an interesting little visit I had to Idaho. It was 18* when I arrived and snowing. I've never been in that kind of weather before. I never realized how tricky it is to drive in, especially at when you can't see lanes in the road or even curbs are disappearing. I've never been in that kind of weather and don't know how you snow bunnies do it. I guess you can get used to anything. It was an enjoyable visit even though it seemed we had one mishap after the other. He got a really bad cold, lost his cell phone and we spent a good deal of time retracing our steps to find it as he needs it for work. He finally had to just buy a new one as the old one seems to have vaporized. This trip was not like our other get-togethers. We tried to have our romantic moments but his juicy cold kind of put an end to that and lots of little things went wrong. We had a good laugh out of the fact that this visit was less like our romantic vacations and more like "real" life. In the end, I think it was good that we had this experience as life isn't all about hearts and flowers and things don't always go as planned. We both handled it well and still enjoyed the hell out of our time together.

Just_Lin said...

Barb It sounds like you are making good progress on the scrapbook. He's going to love it.

I did see Jay's tearful farewell. It brought a tear to my eye. I watched Letterman much more than Jay and I think Jimmy will do a good job.

Just_Lin said...

Mary I hope you get through the rest of winter with no flooding. Living in snow country is hard work, isn't it? I bet you can hardly wait for your Dominican Republic vacation.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Happy anniversary! I hope Louis was able to enjoy his pizza even with the dental issues. I know all about dental problems and they can sure ruin a good time.

LOL @ me site seeing. I must admit that I saw a thing or two.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Congrats to Jake. He's really doing well in wrestling. It is kind of weird that they had him wrestle against his own teammates when there was such a large group to choose from.

LOL @ getting up too early. Don't you hate when that happens?

sacBarb said...

Welcome Home J/L. Maybe there wasn't as much romance, but just being together is nice too. I actually miss just talking to my Hubby more than the romance.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I hope you had a nice anniversary.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I hate when that happens. I fell asleep watching TV one day and when I woke up and saw it was light out, I thought it was the next morning for just a minute. Turned out I had only been asleep for an hour. I don't know why I was confused. Maybe I'm slipping into another stage of Alzheimer's!

sacBarb said...

Hi Mary. I hope you're warm and dry and I'm not talking about your pants!

sacBarb said...

So, Sharon and I went to the show today and saw Frozen. We both loved it. It has amazing graphics. Buttttt, I almost didn't get out of my carport. Usually when I get in the car, the first thing I do is put the garage door up, but I had some things in the front seat that I had to put in the glove box and some packages I had to rearrange, so apparently I was distracted. After I put my seatbelt on and started the car, I slowly backed up, right into the door! Luckily I was going slow, but it still bent the door, duh! Apparently, I didn't check the rear view mirror before letting up on the brake. So, of course, the door wouldn't open. I went next door, to my helpful neighbor, and when he opened the door, my lower lip was sticking way out. Long story short - he came over and rescued me. He got a big piece of plywood and put it against the door, then with his car, he backed up into the plywood and it pushed the door back into place. So all is well, at least for the time being! I feel so stupid that I could do that annnnnd that I had to get someone to help me. Usually, when I do something stupid, I can fix it myself and no one knows about it.

Mary/MI said...

Oh Barb, I know what you mean! If peeps were witness to some of my silly goof ups, I would have been put in a home years ago lol! Aren't neighbors grand? Well, most lol!

I forgot to cogratulate your son Jodi! What an accomplishment for such a young man!

JL, I don' t think we ever get used to the nasty roads and weather here! We just cope. This just happens to be an exceptionally bad year! It has made whiners of us lol!

Waving at Dianne wherever you are!

Mary/MI said...

Forgive my spelling, I am still an iPad virgin lol!

Just_Lin said...

Barb That was a clever solution that your neighbor came up with. I'm glad he was able to fix the door for you. I feel for you. I know I prefer to keep my silly goofs to myself.

Just_Lin said...

Mary That makes you the only virgin in this tree. LOL

Jodi said...

SLIN - At least you got to spend the time! There are just so many more kids that are smaller and younger than Jake. I can't wait til next year when he will have more "mature" guys to wrestle!

Jodi said...

BARB - My Dad always said that's what he missed the most, too. That and just having someone to share dinner with ♥ I still want to see Frozen. I have tomorrow off. Maybe I can catch a matinee!

Jodi said...

MARY - Whiners, indeed!! Although it's winters like these that I'm thankful that I only have to drive a few blocks to work!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I guess you're not the only ones that will have an "early"bird dinner on Valentine's Day. Paul usually goes to an AA Meeting on Friday night, so if we want to do dinner, it will have to be early!! I work early on Saturday, so I'd rather eat early anyway!

Just_Lin said...

Good night, HOoters. I have a cold so am going to bed early (for me). I caught this from my Idaho friend who now has bronchitis.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Sorry you're sick. Eat some chicken soup, even if it's for breakfast and stay in bed all day except when you have to pee & eat. ♥

Jodi said...

SLIN - Sorry you're not feeling good. Better than pregnant ;-)

Jodi said...

Waving a wing at BARB!!

Jodi said...

Had to take both boys to school, now waiting in the parking lot of Sam's apartment. Giving her and her boy a ride to work today.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HOoters <3