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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

How Adam Got Eve

by Dianne


Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

                                        So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
 
and that it would be a woman.
 
He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,
 
and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you 
 
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you,

and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
 
She will praise you! 

She will bear your children.

and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
 
'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'
 

Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'
 
God replied, 'An arm and a leg.'

 
Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?'

 
Of course the rest is history............

40 comments:

Beverly Frederick said...

First!! Neener neener... very funny Dianne! Yes, the rest is history! Hope everyone is doing well today.

Just_Lin said...

Beverly Congrats on being first and prettiest today! Good to see you!

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Ha! Thanks for the blog today. That explains a lot.

sacBarb said...

Thanks for sending that to Tina. Although I laughed, I'm not sure I like the implication!

sacBarb said...

Waving a wing to Beverly and J/L. Wondering where Jodi and Mary are?

Just_Lin said...

I had a cup of coffee brewed in my new coffeemaker. My old coffeemaker must have been losing its mojo slowly over time as this cup I just had was considerably hotter than from my old one.

sacBarb said...

J/L, What kind did you get?

Beverly Frederick said...

Thanks J/L! Glad to hear the new coffeemaker is working out!! Yes, what kind did you get? Hello SB!!

Just_Lin said...

Beverly I just got a black Mr. Coffee. It's inexpensive, has the extra features I wanted and fits in the space I have for it. It will do me just fine.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Ha!! Thanks for the giggle this morning!

Jodi said...

BEBBI - You are stunning ♥

Jodi said...

BARB - I was out on the road for work yesterday! Pretty scary storm we drove thru getting to the first store. Especially the flash flood conditions. Yikes!! But we made it there safely, and by the time we were done with the first store the weather had calmed down!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Congrats on your new coffeemaker! I've had my Bunn over 2 years now and I love it!!

Jodi said...

Time to hoist and rinse. I'm only scheduled until 10 this morning. I can hear thunder in the distance. I'm hoping that the weather clears up because I want to drive to East Troy this afternoon and watch The Madison Scouts practice! I need to deliver hugs for a couple of my friends who are far away and missing their boys.

Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

15!!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Hope the weather clears up for you. So glad we didn't have bad weather during the Ho Fest as some peeps might not have been able to make it.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Still cloudy, but no storms predicted til later tonight. Just delivered hugs to both boys, now to settle in and watch practice and take lots of pics!!

Jodi said...

Just got home about 30 minutes ago. Dang tired (I've been up over 20 hours), but so worth it!!! Thankfully I have tomorrow off!

Jodi said...

SLIN - The rain held off til right after they got done with their run thru! The drive home wasn't too bad except on the interstate. People lose their flippin' minds both in the rain and snow....SMH ;)

Just_Lin said...

My dog got skunked last night in the early evening! We had an unpleasant night. Needless t say, she didn't sleep on my bed or in my bedroom. I used to have Nature's Miracle Skunk Smell Remover years ago and that worked well to neutralize the problem. There is also a recipe of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap (preferably Dawn) but I didn't have enough of the peroxide. I ended up washing her face and chest just with Dawn which helped a little. I tried basting her with tomato juice but she was having none of that. This was all more difficult because she refused to get in the bathtub. I soaked her collar in tomato juice overnight but it didn't help much. Soaking it in Dawn now. Airing out the house, too. I didn't sleep well. I think there is a nap in my future.

Jodi said...

SLIN - How awful!! Were you out for a walk when she got skunked?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi No, not out for a walk. Let her out in the backyard around 8:30 and the skunk was in the bushes. I was able to get some Nature's Miracle Skunk Odor Remover and that it helping quite a bit.

Just_Lin said...

Well, the skunk smell seems to have cleared out the nest.

sacBarb said...

J/L, I'm glad you were able to get some of that Miracle stuff to get rid of the skunky odor. Is Ursula odor free, too? We have a lot of skunks around here because of the river and our cocker got skunked once. He was only in the house for SECONDS after the attack and we make him sleep outside that night. In the morning I made one of the boys walk him up to the groomer (about 4 blocks) before work/school in the morning and I followed him with the car. I didn't want the dog in the car. The groomer was able to get him smelling good by the time I picked him up after work. It was worth whatever they charged me.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...whew...what's that smell coming from JLs branch? Shower today? New perfume? I'm not crazy about it.

Well, it sounds like you've been busy JL doing some dog grooming. Boy, I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do. Guess that's why I don't have pets. Hope you have it all taken care of now. Good thing you weren't out for a walk!

Barb, I like your solution. When do you leave for Disney?

Jodi, glad you had fun the other night. I agree with you about the drivers in the bad weather. It's like they've never driven in it.

Bebbi, nice to see you in the nest.

Just_Lin said...

Barb LOL @ you following your son and dog in the car! I can't blame you for not wanting the dog in the car, though. The first thing my dog did when she came in was to start rubbing her nose and face across rugs and the floor. I did whisk her into the bathroom ASAP but still, there were plenty of places where she spread the joy. The Nature's Miracle stuff is to apply directly to the animal's fur and to any surfaces affected. I never would have left the dog outside as it is too cold at night plus the skunk was still in the yard as far as I know. Dawn dish soap helped some when I bathed her face and chest in it that night. Fortunately, I had closed my bedroom door first thing so the smell hadn't permeated in there. Sometime during the night it started seeping in a bit. I went through a lot of Febreze that night and the next day, too.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Sorry about stinking up the place. The dog is smelling good enough now to be able to sleep on my bed again. Her collar is another story. I keep soaking it and airing it out but the smell remains when I put my nose up to it. It's a leather collar and I guess the skunk oil really soaked into it.

Just_Lin said...

Today is overcast, cool, and breezy. I think I will just stay home and stay ugly today.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Time to get a new collar for the dog. ;)

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I leave Wednesday and come back home on Sunday.

Mary/MI said...

I thought I better check in before one of you puts out a search party. "ahem, cough, cough, Dianne" LOL!!
We had a few open houses this week end and I have been "jamming it up" today. I drove to my favorite strawberry farm. I used to pick my own, but with my bad knee and back, those days are long gone!

The open houses were grt Nephews on my Husbands side.We usually only see them at weddings or, open houses.They are all great kids. Jim kept me up for over 2 hrs Friday night after one of the open houses. He talked in his sleep! 2 hrs straight!! He was fishing with his nephews. He was so animated, even winding up his fishing pole's reel and casting. He even made the motion of throwing the fish back! The dog finally had enough and took off under the bed lol! Jim talks in his sleep a lot, but not like that night!. I was surprised he remembered any of it. I told him, "but 2 hrs?". He said, "well, I haven't seen them in a long time!" LOL!!!!

Thank goodness last night he was quiet!! I was so dam tired, I slept in late...dog too !

Tina, btw that was funny! Adam was lucky we let him live lol!!

Just_Lin said...

Barb I think you're right about the collar.

Just_Lin said...

Didn't sleep well and got up at 7:20. I already need a nap.

Mary/MI said...

JL, I know there is no way you would ever be "just ugly!" LOL! I do know what you mean though, I am feeling "fugly" today!

Just_Lin said...

Mary Believe me, it'a all smoke and mirrors....and makeup. LOL

sacBarb said...

I'm packing for my trip to Disneyland tomorrow. I was going to ride with a woman who was originally driving by herself, but that fell through, so now I am flying. That means I have to check two bags, because I need to bring craft supplies for the workshops. Plus, I have to leave room to bring more craft stuff back, cause they give us free stuff. Not that I need any more, but if it's free....

Just_Lin said...

Barb Safe travels! Enjoy your time there and your free stuff!

Mary/MI said...

Barb, I don't remember reading about you trip to Disney. Is it some kind of workshop? Are you right on the Disney grounds? Sounds like fun to me!

It was another busy day here today. I think I accomplished something, maybe lol!
We have gotten a lot of rain here. Our dogs small swimming pool was empty last night and over half full today. Our yard is flooded, but thank goodness it is at the back side of our property. The water is running into the creek below, which leads into the Grand River. It is flowing pretty fast.
Our garden is under water too.
Seems like we either have too much snow, or too much rain this year!

Time to check my farm and head to bed. Another busy day tomorrow!!

Waving at all my family of Owls :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Without going into detail..can everyone send prayers and positive thoughts to my granddaughter? We really need them. Thank you

Mary/MI said...

Will do Dianne! xoxoxoxoxoxo