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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Mama's Bible

by Dianne

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers. 

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother, who had moved to Florida.
 

The first said, "You know, I had a big house built for Mama."
 

The second said, "And I had a large theater built in her house."
 

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
 

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible, and you know she can't read
 anymore because she can't see very well. I met a preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. To get the bird, I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." 

The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration, Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes.


She wrote:
“Milton, the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. But the thought was good. Thanks." 

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people,
  but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture, just the same." 

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to
 your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much." 

Love, Mama

39 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Yikes! Thanks for the blog today.

Just_Lin said...

I forgot to tell you guys that I had to rescue a goldfinch in my birdfeeder the other day. It is a platform style feeder; like a flat, shallow pan. I cover the bottom with seed and the birds like to scratch around in it. Anyway, a goldfinch got a talon stuck in one of the perforations in the bottom of the pan. I watched him struggling, hoping he'd fee himself like I've seen another bird do, but then he got the second foot caught, too. I put on an oven mitt and held him still while I got his talons freed. Poor thing. I thought he would die of fright. He flew off none the worse for wear, though.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi..sorry I've been MIA this week. I've had a couple of dr appts and time just seemed to get away from me. Actually, I've been having a not so great week

JL, you are a real trooper getting that bird freedom again. Good thing it didn't fly at you when it got loose.

I don't remember that blog so I even got a laugh out of my own blog.!!!

Going to a cousins wedding tomorrow night at 6pm on the other side of town in Friday night rush hour traffic. We are going to have to leave really early so we get there before the bride is walking down the aisle. Should be a fun wedding.

Barb and Jodi, glad you are both feeling better. Time to get well for football season.

Mary, I'm checking in....I'm usually the one nagging about that, aren't i?

Barb in CO, sounds like your tile situation I was reading about on FB worked for the best for you.

Think I'll get my hair fixed young again tomorrow for the wedding. Have a good night everyone

Just_Lin said...

Dianne LOL The last thing that little bird wanted to do was fly closer to me. It was very fortunate that I was here to see it and help it, though, because about minutes later there was a large hawk perching in my redwood tree. The little goldfinch would have been a goner for sure.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Many years ago, my Hubby was driving on the freeway and he saw a bird stuck in the chain link fence on the other side of the freeway. After he ran his errand, which was a short one, he saw the bird was still stuck in the fence on his way back. He pulled over to free it and he said before it flew away, it turned and squawked at him and he wondered if it was saying "thank you" or "what took you so long to get back?" I don't remember what kind of bird it was, but it wasn't a small one. ;)

sacBarb said...

Dianne, Thanks for the laugh! You should get a sassy hair-do for the wedding and post a pic for us.

Mary/MI said...

Funny blog Dianne! I have missed you :)
I have been busy too. I don't know how the days get away from me.
Today I went to my Chiro. I should have to go just one more time, until I undo everything he has done lol!

I went to my home town and visited the sweet old lady that wrote the book on my family. She has written 2 more about local families that immigrated to the U.S.She is working on a couple more. She is in her 80s and sharp as a tack! There's a lot to be said for keeping your mind busy and cobwebs out!

JL,whew! good thing you beat the Hawk to his dinner!!

SacBarb, I'm not so sure I would have stopped on the free-way! It was sweet of your hubby to rescue it.

Tomorrow I am going to a friends going away picnic. She is such a sweetie! She's the gal that hems my pants. She also made bathroom curtains for me. I am going to miss her. Her hubby got a job in Texas. She has the nicest kids. She home schools them so school change will not be an issue.

I have to take a few items down to our VFW tomorrow. A friend of ours sister, has many clots in her brain and no insurance,so they are holding a benefit for her. So sad. Makes my aches and pains seem so trivial!

Have a great week end everyone!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - "Tastes like chicken"....bwahahahaha!!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - So pretty in 1st!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I'm glad you could rescue the finch. My Mom had a couple of feeders and loved watching them ♥

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Sorry you didn't have the best week. I hope you enjoyed the wedding last night! Jake has his first scrimmage this morning. I hate missing it, but I work this weekend.

Jodi said...

BARB - lol @ not knowing what the bird was squawking about! And I agree....DIANNE post pics of your sassy 'do!!

Jodi said...

MARY - How nice you were able to visit with the lady that helped to write your book! Good luck on the benefit. Scary thing not having insurance!

Jodi said...

Merrrrrnin' HOoters ♥

I hope everyone is having a good weekend! Time to "hoist and rinse" ;)

Jodi said...

15!!!

Mary/MI said...

Hi Jodi and fellow owlettes :)

It's a quiet day here in Mich. It is warm and beautiful outside.


I visited a friend of mine who just had a hip replacement. She is recuperating at a nursing home/rehab place. She has been crippled since she was a teenager. She was dating a friend of Jim's, who was driving very fast while drunk! He hit a tree. He was unharmed while she had multiple injuries.her arms and hands are distorted and she needs aids to walk. She gets around mostly by wheel chair.He broke up with her shortly after the accident.Her father would have prolly killed him any way! She was so beautiful with a bright future. She is a sweet soul.
He (Terry)died at an early age from heart problems that ran in his family. Two of his brothers died of heart related problems with in the same year. Can you imagine losing 3 sons like that? Terry, the youngest knew of his ailment and refused to stop drinking and smoking. Carma??
Enjoy the day!

Just_Lin said...

Waving a wing at everyone. I've been up since 6:30. Why? Good question but I don't have a good answer. Although, there is a dripping sound coming from the gutter downspout outside my bedroom window which is driving me nuts. That's mostly the reason I couldn't get back to sleep even though I tried. DIANNE! GET UP AND KEEP ME COMPANY. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Mary That was a very sad story about your friend. I hope she was able to find love in her life.

Just_Lin said...

Well this day has been a waste. I woke up at 5:30 and then tried to get back to sleep for an hour before finally getting up. Since I hadn't gone to bed until around 1, I'm damn tired today. I took a short nap but now I feel like I've been drugged. Yucky!

Mary/MI said...

JL, I try real hard to avoid naps. I feel worse when I get up!

Dianne, where are you??
BTW, she (Patty) did marry and had children. Not the best of marriages, but she makes the best of it. She is my FB friend , Patty Cherpes.

Recycled stuff, BBQd steaks, local red potatoes & corn on the cob. kitchen closed lol!!

Dianne/Denver said...

I love naps. I take one almost every day. I didn't used to until about the last year. I'm lucky if I make it home from lunch and don't take it in my car...no joke.

Hi Everyone...JL...don't be yelling around here for me so early in the morning please. You startled me!!! I hate those early wake ups especially silly when we go to sleep so late.

Mary, that's really sad about your friend. It's nice you were able to visit with her.

We had fun at the wedding this weekend. It was outside and just missed the rain showers. It's always fun to see family and the bride was beautiful. My cousin was the groom.

Had lunch with a few old coworkers that I don't see much. One is moving to Florida so we wanted to get together before she left. I was very proud of myself as the restaurant was by the Coach outlet store and I kept my car from turning into their parking lot.

Just_Lin said...

Mary I rarely nap for the same reason. I usually feel worse afterwards.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Sorry for startling you this morning. Good self control in not visiting the Coach store over the weekend. I wonder how much money you saved. LOL

Jodi said...

Good morning! Busy day. School registration, shift leader meeting and dinner with GOLDIE! Starting my day out having breakfast with Sam!

Jodi said...

MARY - You always find time for a friend. One of the reasons I love u!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Naps are a necessity for me some days. But I have to be careful. Feel like crap if I sleep too long, and also won't be able to sleep that night. 20 minutes works the best. Even if it's just to close my eyes.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I was at the mall with Jake yesterday, and walked right past the Coach store. Not once, but twice! Glad u enjoyed the wedding :)

Mary/MI said...

What?? You passed a Coach store!!?? Lol, when I go to Vegas I go out of my way to look at purses! I especially love the Luis V store :)

It has been raining all day! It's very windy and many thunder boomers and gloomy skies. The satellite keeps going out so TV is cutting out ,, during important parts of course lol!

The dog and I are curled up in a comfy chair. Her sleeping, and me on my tablet. Have a great day all!

Jodi said...

MARY - Sometimes those are my favorite days! Have f7n on your tablet, and give Zoie a pat for me :)

Jodi said...

Not sure what f7n is. Lol!! Have fun!

Just_Lin said...

Tripped on dog toy. fell and broke my d
shoulder. of course my right one as I am right handed.

Mary/MI said...

My tablet and my f7n had a good day Jodi lol! Zoie sends her heaviest of "pants" to you :p

Oh no JL!!! Say it ain't soooo!!!

I have almost tripped over Zoie, but never her toys, of course they are all old socks and a tennis ball. I do have to watch were the ball is especially at night!

How bad was the break? Dam the luck!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Dang!! And here DIANNE was telling you to stay off the ladder. Sending you a gentle (((hug))). Love u pretty lady ♥

Dianne/Denver said...

Oh no..JL, you broke you shoulder? That must be so painful. Take some pills and let us know you are ok are you going to be able to be alone?

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, I have to takes out an hour or two nap. Twenty minutes wouldn't cut it for me.

I went to the dr today for a 3:30 appt and left there at 5:05. I almost fell asleep and fell off the table twice....half naked. I could have gotten a concussion!! Stupid having to wait that long

Mary, we seem to have rain showers every day but then the sun comes back out. I still will be glad to see September arrive.

Ok, now where are the two Barbs hiding out?

.

Just_Lin said...

I have two breaks in ball joint at top of right arm the toy I tripped on was a Kong; hard rubber. It rolls and when I stepped on it, it rolled beneath my foot plummeting me forward. happened very fast.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Today was one of those days that I did take a 2 hour nap. Kind of a necessity when I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. Tim was suppose to pick Sam up in Madison, but when he went to call her to get the address she was at her phone was dead. He called me at 11:15 pm to ask what he should do. I told him to just come home. I tried tracking her down and was up over an hour. Finally got a call from her at 1:45 am. She wanted Tim to pick her up before work this morning, but I got in the car and picked her up to avoid Tim having to navigate crazy morning traffic in Madison. TEENAGERS...UGH!!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Hopefully you are "comfortably numb" today. Take care you ♥

sacBarb said...

J/L, I hope you are in less pain today and were able to get some sleep last night. I wish I could volunteer to come and help you, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be much help. I am still trying to get some energy back. I know how hard it is to have your dominasnt hand/arm disabled from when I had carpal tunnel surgery. I ended up not wearing a bra unless I had a doctor appointment. Otherwise I didn't leave my house for two weeks. I'm afraid you are going to have a longer recovery than two weeks. :(