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Friday, August 8, 2014

The Confessional

by Sac Barb



An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
 
Inside he finds a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
 
Then the priest comes in.
 
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
 
The priest replies: "Get out, you moron, you're on my side!"

70 comments:

Dianne/Denver said...

First!!' Ahhh, I always wondered what that side looked like for the priest. Thanks for the blog, Barb.

I'm glad you're seeing a light Barb. I don't think it's a train..I think it's the sun and a rainbow!!!

Barb in Co...how was that a Bronco game last night? Did you have fun? Were you cheering for the Broncos or the Seahawks? Long game with that rain delay. I'm not crazy about preseason but I did like beating them after last years Super Bowl mess.

Mary, you'd better stay off that darn foot. When do you go back to the doctor?

Jodi, sounds like you have a fun weekend planned...you always do unless you have to work.

JL, well, one more day and I stayed the same at WW this week. Oh well, at least I have my cruise clothes to wear to the country club. My granddaughters want to put some makeup on me since I don't wear much so I'll try it and see. I may end up washing it off when I get home.
I
I have a dr appt today and that's about it. Boring day. Everyone have a good day

Jodi said...

BARB - Being Lutheran I wouldn't have known the difference! Glad you are starting to feel better. Watch out for trains 😉

Jodi said...

SLIN -Last night was fun! Mark and I always have a good time. The performances were amazing. It will be interesting to se if The Blue Devils from Concord, CA wil have a truly undefeated season!

Mary/MI said...

Well, that cracked me up!! Funny!!

Dianne, I went to my Dr last week and he wanted me to use the boot one more week and then as needed, like where I have to be on my feet on hard surfaces for a long time (Like the Mall).
My girlfriend and I went garage sale-ing today. We didn't need anything, just hadn't seen each other in a while and thought it would be a fun time to spend together besides our usual restaurant grazing lol!! We have decided to go to Spain in Nove. Now to break it to Jim lol!
Jim & I will be going to Vegas next month. I am surprised he agreed to leave Zoie that long lol!

Dianne/Denver said...

Wow..Exciting going to Spain. How long will you be gone?
Glad your foot is doing better. How long in Vegas? Can you stop in Denver for a few hours ?

Just_Lin said...

Barb Ha! That was good one! Thanks for the chuckle. I hope you were feeling better today.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Congrats on being first and prettiest today. Let the granddaughters play makeup artist on you. As a kid, my daughter was so much better at applying makeup than I've ever been. Of course, she would spend hours practicing applying it which is something I never did.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I haven't heard of the Blue Devils but "undefeated" sounds pretty impressive.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Oooh! I'm jealous! That will be a fun trip for you and your friend. I would love to see Spain, Italy and France. Maybe someday....

Just_Lin said...

I was back on a ladder again today changing another one of the bulbs in the recessed lighting in the kitchen. For whatever reason, when I replaced the flood light bulb, it wasn't going in enough to make contact to get electricity. I pried the fixture off with a bread knife, allowing for me to get my hand up in the hole in the ceiling and make adjustments to the fixture housing, thereby "fixing" the problem. Yay! Very proud of myself for figuring it out. I also washed my car (not very well but at least it looks better than it did), hand watered the front yard and plants (we're in a drought here so not turning on the sprinklers), and mopped the bathroom floor. As a reward, I took myself out to dinner; clam chowder, salad, grilled shrimp on skewers, baked potato and veggies. All in all, a good day.

Dianne/Denver said...

Stay off those ladders!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Well, today's the day and bad news...I didn't lose 100 pounds ...not even the 75. I'm going to have to put my happy face on and go to the reunion. Good thing I have Louis to hang on to and you can all imagine how excited he is to go have dinner with 75 or so strangers!!! Should be a fun night. :) as I've said before, I'll be fine once I get there and get seated.

What's anyone else up to this weekend! I have no plans on Sunday so does someone want to meet me for brunch?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Maybe you'll have Sunday brunch with someone you chat with tonight at your reunion. :)

Jodi said...


MARY - Your trip to Spain sounds fabulous! How did Jim take the news? My friend Nuria lives there. She was the foreign exchange student here when I was a senior. From the pics she has posted, it is a beautiful country.

Jodi said...

SLIN - I will try to post a video of yheir show. It is so good! I don't know if you remember SEASIDELADY, but it is her favorite corps!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Have fun at your reunion! Not doing too much today, bu5 tomorrow I'm taking Jake and his friend Eriq to a water park in Wisconsin Dells! Looking forward to a day in the sun!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I never met Seasidelady but I certainly remember the name.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Well, I was up on the ladder again. I went ahead and replaced the remaining 3 recessed lights since they would be going out soon, anyway. Now all of them have new 4 year flood lights. I won't have to worry about it again until then. It's not that big a deal to be on the ladder as I only have to go up two steps.

Mary/MI said...

I have not told Jim yet. Thought I would wait for just the right moment lol! My Girlfriends Brother lives in Spain with his wife. She is a bit over bearing, so we decided to rent something. I would love to stay 2 or 3 weeks, but Jim would surely die! We figured about 10 days. My Mother's ancestors come from Spain. I have always wanted to go there. May make a side trip to Portugal. I love their wine!

BTW I forget who gave me the wine info, I found it and loved it! I know where to get it now :)

We are not doing anything this week end. Buying gross-eries about done me in lol!

sacBarb said...

Hello HOters. Here I am again. Just when I think all is well and I can get some things done, BOOM, it's not! Today is a better day, though. Yesterday was the first day I didn't have severe pain from the damn root canal tooth. I guess the anti-biotic finally took hold. I go back on Monday for the permanent filling. The good news is, I've lost 5 lbs. I'm sure they will come back as soon as I start eating normally.

sacBarb said...

Mary, how much fun going to Spain will be. You should take longer so you can enjoy more of the sights, unless you know you will be able to go again.

BTW, J/L told you about the wine. We first had it at the Olive Garden here in Sac.

sacBarb said...

J/L, I have fallen off a ladder with only two rungs, ijs. Of course I am a klutz!

sacBarb said...

Dianne, have a great time at your reunion.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I'll be looking for that video.

Just_Lin said...

Mary I think you should take at least 2 weeks which should allow you to spend a few days in Portugal, too. I figure it's more cost effective to stay longer since your airfare and time spent getting there is going to be the same, regardless.

Just_Lin said...

Barb I'm so glad your tooth pain is better now.

I do keep one hand on the ladder and feel quite secure on it.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I saw a report on the news tonight about the Blue Devils. Actually, it was primarily about their youngest member who seems to be some kind of drum protégé, plus he has scoliosis.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thank you for the card! :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Well, I'm home from my class reunion. There were other people that needed to lose weight, looked old and a lot with grey hair. Usually I think the men look older but this time I thought the women looked older. We had name badges on with our graduation pictures or most of the people you wouldn't have known. My standby group of friends from out of state were there (than goodness) and I had a really good time. There was a really good turn out from 198 kids. Most everyone was very friendly except a couple were still standoffish just like school. A lot of people said they recognized me without looking at my name badge...that was encouraging. I had my hair done today in a young style and then of course my makeup. My granddaughter said it as hard putting makeup on with wrinkles ..little brat!! :). So all in all it was a fun night. We just are getting old though.

Mary, I think you should go to Spain for two weeks too. It can't be cheap to go over there so you may as well get to see everything while you're there. Jim will survive.

Barb, I'm glad you're finally feeling better. Boy, this has been some road, hasn't it? It will just get better now.

JL, you can add that card to your retirement scrapbook. You're welcome. I still don't want you on ladders !!

sacBarb said...

Dianne. I'm glad you had a good time. I got your card in the mail today. Thanks for thinking of me. ♥

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm so glad that you enjoyed yourself tonight.

I guess it wasn't nice of your granddaughters to say that but I've noticed the same thing about myself. Eye makeup went on easier when I was applying it to young skin. Oh, well. We do the best we can.

Dianne/Denver said...

Yes, it was a much better night than I anticipated. I just worry about everything. I don't even think Kayla was being mean with the makeup deal, I think she was just stating a fact and had never put makeup on wrinkles before I came along. They just need to get used to nana being kind of old.

Barb, glad you liked the card.

Jodi said...

BARB - Slow but sure....glad you are getting better ♥

Jodi said...

SLIN - I posted a video of their show on your wall. Amazing!!! I tagged DIANNE, MARY, BARB & BARB IN CO via WA, too! Enjoy HOoters! They broke the record for the highest score at Finals. 99.65!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I'm glad you had a good time at your reunion! You need to post a pic of your hair and makeup!!

Jodi said...

Have a great day HOoters! I need to get packed and ready to head to Wisconsin Dells :)

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Thanks for the video. Very cool! In my day, there was only 5 of us flag twirlers. The band, the Glendora Tartans, was very cool, and still is, with their line of bag pipers.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Now your granddaughter knows what to expect as she gets older. I hope you post a pic of your hair and makeup.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Glad u enjoyed the video! Bagpipes on the field. Now that would be something to see!!

Jodi said...

Had a really fun day. Mostly just hung out in the wave pool and the lazy river. It was sunny and warm. Just what I needed! I should sleep well tonight.

sacBarb said...

Back from the Endodontist. Now I need to make an appointment with my regular dentist so he can decide if he can patch my crown or if I need a new one. arrggghhhh

I'm still battling the lack of energy and getting dizzy. I need that to be fixed soon or I will go crazy!

sacBarb said...

J/L, I plan to watch Bachelor in Paradise tonight. Even though I watched last week, I was heavily drugged and I can't be sure of what I saw. I should be better tonight. LOL

Jodi said...

BARB - I hope u get good news from your dentist.

Jodi said...

Still reeling from the news of Robin Williams death. What talent....such demons. Rest in peace....nanu nanu <3

Just_Lin said...

Barb From what I could tell, you seemed to have all your wits about you tonight. More than I can say for the people on that show. LOL

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Yes, so very shocking and sad about Robin Williams.

Barbara_in_COviaWA said...

HOwdy Ladies :-)

Hope all of you are doing well. I was busy this past weekend with Bryan in town. Went to the Broncos/Seahawks game Thurs night. Had a great time. Bryan's plane was 3 hours late though, so we missed half of the first quarter. Then when we got to the suite, people were just sitting wherever they wanted instead of their assigned seats. Since this suite was a combo Broncos, Budweiser and season ticket holders, people are required to sit in there seats. But they were not. So we tried to sit in our 4 vender seats but the guy sitting there was being a jerk. Bryan, being Bryan, said "Don't be a dick." to the guy after he got snippy with us and asked if we were season ticket holders. I think that guy was, and instead of sitting in the seats he bought, he was sitting wherever he wanted. The rep from the Broncos was going to come out and tell the guy to move, but after Bryan told him to stop being a dick, the guy left. Acted like he was going to go and get food, said something like "You can move into your seats. We are going to go inside and eat something." Never saw the guy again. I think the Bronco rep said something to him when he was inside. Sit in your damn seat! LOL!
Other than that, we had a great time with him in town.

So gutted over Robin Williams. I've never been so upset over a celeb before. Shocked, sad, shed a few tears, but never sobbed before.

ugh......

Jodi said...

BARB IN CO via WA - Glad you had a good time with your boy! Last night I, too shed tears. But also was able to watch some of my fav videos and laugh, too.

Mary/MI said...

I have to say, it has been a long time since I have cried for a celebrity.I am still bummed over his death! How scary depression must be to go to such lengths to rid ones self of the demons :(

Jim and I went to a Gene Pitney Concert a few years ago and I remember crying during most of his songs! Not many singers move me like that, but the songs brought back many memories. You young'ns prolly never heard of him. He died of heart problems while on a world tour the following year. I was heart broken. He was looking so good! I guess you just never know!

On a lighter note..
I had a great time Monday with Raquel. She was going wedding dress shopping. She found her "dream dress" on line, but they were discontinuing it. There were only 2 left in Michigan, one in Grand Rapids. She quickly made an appointment at the Bridal Store and asked a few of us to meet her there. It was a size 8 and she was afraid it would not zip up! She went in the dressing room with the helper. We heard this little scream and a "yes, it zipped!" We were cracking up! She came out and they put a veil on her head. She turned around to look in the mirror and burst into tears! She looked so beautiful! We were all crying! She didn't want to try anymore dresses. She apologized for bringing us so far and only trying one dress on. She said "what, it took all of 15 minutes lol!!!
We went out to lunch and had a good laugh about it!

Mary/MI said...

50!! Just cuz!

Jodi said...

MARY - So glad Raquel found her dream dress. She will be a beautiful bride! And yes, you lost me on Gene Pitney....*young un here* ;)

Jodi said...

Heading to bed early tonight. Came home early from work. Icky tummy, fever, etc. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I'm in the middle of a 7 day stretch. I ain't got time for this shit....literally! Lol!

Mary/MI said...

Hope you're not preggy Hodi!!
Hope you feel better soon :)

Just_Lin said...

Barbara in COviaWA I'm sorry you were confronted with such rudeness once you finally got to the game. Some people never learn how to play by the rules, I guess. I like Bryan's direct approach in dealing with it. Apparently, it was language the guy could understand.

Just_Lin said...

Mary How exciting that your niece found her dream dress and it was all she wanted it to be. I think that's great! I'm sure you all had a lovely time together and you got to be part of that special moment when she first saw herself in the mirror.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I hope you are back to your normal perky self in the morning. xoxo

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Where are you?

Jodi said...

MARY - lol!! I'd be a freak of nature if that were the case ;)

Jodi said...

SLIN - I'm feeling less "poopy" today. Thank you!

sacBarb said...

Mary, Raquel is a beautiful girl and will be a beautiful bride. Did you tell us the wedding date? I know how close you are to her and I'm sure you are happy you were able to share in her excitement.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, feel better soon!

Jodi said...

BARB - I spoke too soon. My boss brought me home at 7:30 am. Still feeling weak and feverish. Heading back to bed.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Wello, phooey! Sorry you are still under the weather. Hope you feel better soon.

Just_Lin said...

Barb How are you doing? Are you getting close to normal?

Barbara_in_COviaWA said...

Dang Jodi....Hope you are feeling better soon :-(

Mary....I love that your niece found her dream dress! That's the way to do it. When you know you know.

Lin....My son can be brutally direct!

Hope everyone has a great day :-)

sacBarb said...

J/L, Not sure what *normal* ia, even for me, but I am feeling a little better every day.

Mary/MI said...

SacBarb, She's getting married next year in the fall. I have the date somewhere lol!

Jodi, well dang it all! I sure hope you get to feeling better soon!

Colorado Barb, Can I call you Barb 2 or Babs, or Ba Ba? lol!
I love the pics of your house! How exciting! Pooh on the nasty snobby a-hole at the game!

Dianne yoo hoo!! check in please!

JL,yes, it was a touching moment! She will make a beautiful bride :)

I had lunch with my old co workers. Jim went with me as we had an appointment with my General Motors Comp lawyer. We signed the final papers for the settlement.

I am pretty busy the rest of the week. Don't worry, be happy :) :) :)

Mary/MI said...

68

Mary/MI said...

69 yay!!!

Jodi said...

Waving a wing from break. So far, so good. My boss even commented that I had more color today!