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Thursday, September 25, 2014

On The Beach


by Dianne


Goldie, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a Florida beach
near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
 
"Hello, sir, how are you?"
 
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
 
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
 
"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.
 
"Do you live around here?" she asked.
 
"Yes," he answered, continuing to read. Goldie persisted.
 
"Do you like pussy cats?"
 
With that, the old gentleman threw his book down, jumped off his blanket
onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most
passionate ride of her life!
 
 As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"
 
 The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

42 comments:

sacBarb said...

LOL Dianne. Thanks for the laugh. I hope all is well in your world.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Funny!! Seriously just snorted my cawfee!

Jodi said...

BARB - Ravishing in 1st! Is the air any clearer by you?

Jodi said...

Quiet week here in the nest with MARY and SLIN traveling.

Met one of the guys from my bowling team from last year down at the Memorial Union Terrace. He just broke up with his boyfriend last Friday and I decided he could probably use a friend and a beer! It is a beautiful place on the shores of Lake Mendota in Madison on the UW Campus. We shared a pitcher of Spotted Cow and nachos!

Jodi said...

BARB in COviaWA - Have you done that walk thru of the house yet? Your new kitty is cute!!

Jodi said...

Best get prettied up for work. Day 5 of 7 in a row.

Have a great day HOoters ♥

sacBarb said...

Jodi, how nice to offer your friend a beer and an ear. I assume he appreciated having someone to talk to.

They are finally getting the King fire under control after two weeks, but the air is still bad. Hopefully, it will clear up in the next few days.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...boy, so quiet around here. Well, it's darn hot here in Denver. Too hot for me. We went to a grandsons game and a lady gave me an umbrella to use for the sun. I was very grateful. It's supposed to cool down during the week. We are going to look at the colors in the mountains tomorrow.

Barb, glad they are finally getting that fire under control. Are you noticing a difference? Can you go outside yet?

JL, don't you get home this weekend? I think it might even be today. We have missed you. Hope you had a good time celebrating your brothers birthday.

Boy Mary, sounds like you were able to have a little extra stay in Vegas. Glad to see you made the family wedding today though.

Jodi, are you pooped yet? I'm sure you are getting there working all those days in a row. That was nice of you to hang out with your friend that needed a friend the other night. So how is Jake feeling about his upcoming operation? How much school will he miss? I also keep meaning to ask you how Sam is doing?

Barb did her walk through and they close this Tuesday. The moving truck comes on Friday. She's been very busy. We were able to squeeze a quick lunch last week to catch up a little.

My daughter is at Blake Shelton concert tonight and I sure wish I was too. I usually get handicap seats but they were sold out in a second this time. Seems like every concert (country) is lately. So I'm envious right now.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Thinking of all.....

Jodi said...

BARB - He is adorable, and I guess it was meant to be. I had also invited another friend that I met thru the Madison Scouts. He is one of the department heads in the French Department at UW Madison. Well, long story short, Michael had recently emailed Andrew about getting into Grad school, but Andrew hadn't received said email. Small world!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Last day of my 7 day stretch. Thank God for naps and coffee. We are short staffed right now, and every shift feels like I've run a sprint! Jake will probably miss a minimum of 2 days of school. His surgery is on a Thursday, and if he is tolerating the pain, he can go back on Monday. Sam is doing ok. We really need to do something about her not having a car, though.

Enjoy looking at the colors in the mountains. They are just starting to pop around here!

sacBarb said...

I am going to see Gone With The Wind tomorrow on the big screen. This is the 75 year celebration. I love seeing it on the big screen and for anyone who hasn't seen it ever, the big screen is a must! It's only playing tomorrow and Thursday and only two showings each day. I am excited to see it again!

Jodi said...

Thanks for the reminder BARB! I've never seen it before on the big screen!

Mary/MI said...

Heloooooo!
I got a belly laugh from your joke Dianne! Lucky lady, I need me some "Katz" lol!!

We had a good time in Vegas, except for the flight cancellation. Week end rates in Vegas are terrible! We have never had to pay, but the places where we get comped were full. I won $1,000 the first day. I only gave back a little :)

I missed my Niece's wedding, but made the reception. Jim refused to leave the dog or the house lol!
I stayed long enough to eat and chat with the relatives. First good meal I had since going to Vegas lol! Food was so expensive! A dinner buffet at the MGM Grand was $44 a person! We mostly ate in the Food Courts. Still high. We paid $22 for 2 hotdogs and one order of FF.
It sure was hectic in there! We found out that Katy Perry was doing a show that night. Many cute munchkins dressed in colorful clothes and a rainbow of wigs.

Well, I am still pooped! Hopefully I can get caught up on my sleep.
See yah all tomorrow :)

Jodi said...

MARY - Lol @ need me some "Katz" ;) Glad you finally got out of Vegas and made it to the reception! How fun that you got to hang with our Michi! Looks like you two had a blast!

Jodi said...

15!!

Jodi said...

Well, it's been a productive morning. Took Sam to work, dropped Jake's suit off at the cleaners, and am now washing our sheets and quilt. I have to pick Sam up at work at 4 pm and then looking forward to bowling night!!

It's a beautiful day here. High of about 79, but one of the last really nice days. Hoping to sit outside for a bit and enjoy the warmth!

Have a good day HOoters ♥

Just_Lin said...

I'm b-a-a-a-ck!!!

Well, it was way too hot for me down there in southern California. It was finally tolerable for the last two days but is heating up again. I am so spoiled to live in this nice mild climate that I live in.

I had a nice visit with my brother. We didn't do anything too exciting; just hung out, went through some old family photos, went out to a lot of really good dinners. Oh, and we went to see the movie, "This Is Where I Leave You" starring Tina Fey, Jane Fonda, Jason Bateman. It was really funny. I highly recommend it.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Welcome back!!! Glad you enjoyed the time with your brother. How is your wing doing?

Mary/MI said...

Welcome back JL! I know about "hot!"
It got up to 100 while we were in Vegas!
Michigan is perfect right now. I love the fall.
While we were gone we had our garage re-roofed, this time with a metal roof. It shouldn't have to be replaced again, well, at least not in OUR lifetime lol!!

Dianne, I love Blake S.!! Sorry you couldn't go :(
How cool that our Lions won their Division!!!

Jodi, slow down woman lol!! I hope you took the time to "smell the leaves" :)

SacB, I love GWTW! I doubt if it comes near me (big screen). I will look for it anyway.

Jodi said...

MARY - Enjoyed the colors today on my walk. Boy, it sure has cooled down. The temp has dropped 25° in the last couple of hours. We need to redo our roof. What is the difference in price steel vs shingles?

Mary/MI said...

Jodi, Jim said the steel costs more but cheaper to put on. It lasts a lot longer than than shingle. We had replaced our roof 3 times, so still is cheaper in the long run. We bought the high grade. They have cheaper.
Ours was $80.00 per 10x10 sq ft.
You could prolly Google.

sacBarb said...

Mary, GWTW is celebrating its 75 Anniversary and it is playing only on two days, Sept. 28 (when I saw it) and Oct. 1, and only at 2:00 and 7:00 each day. It will be playing all over the country, so it may very well be playing near you. You can still see it on Wednesday.

sacBarb said...

Welcome back J/L. I want to see that movie, too. I had another recall on my car and had to take it to Roseville, where Sharon lives, so she picked me up and we were going to go see it, but the times didn't work out for us. So, I guess I'll just have to see it by myself. I saw Tina Fey and Jane Fonda on talk shows and I am very intrigued.

sacBarb said...

Hi Jodi. Do you have a date for Jake's surgery yet?

sacBarb said...

Dianne, the fire is 89% controlled and they expect to have it 100% controlled by the weekend. Our air is a better, but we can still smell it and there isn't as much smoke.

I love Blake Shelton and would love to see one of his concerts.

Jodi said...

BARB - His surgery is on Nov 6th.

Just_Lin said...

Barb You'll enjoy This Is Where I Leave You. Did you and Sharon see a different movie instead?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi My wing is coming along nicely. I notice more range of motion every day.

After roasting in southern California during the last week, it was a pleasure to actually turn on my heater last night. The weather people do say it's going to be warming up here, though.

Just_Lin said...

Mary What happened to the old days when you could eat at great buffets in LV very cheaply?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I had a very nice time visiting with my brother. I wish his birthday was in a cooler month than September, though.

sacBarb said...

J/L, no we didn't see another movie. All the movie times didn't work for us, so we just went to lunch and the Apple store. My computer has been fixed, but they told me it probably won't last because it's old (five years is old for a computer), so I'm looking at getting a MAC. We went to look at them and I had a lot of questions. I'm going to wait until my computer needs fixing again, but I think that's the way I'm going.

Jodi said...

So when I was leaving a Kwik Trip meeting in Madison today, a store leader from Janesville said "good luck tomorrow", and I said "for what?", and she said "Kwik Clean". Good greif!! My store leader had the date of Kwik Clean wrong. She thought it was the 2nd! So I had to get gas and a gallon of milk after picking Jake up from school, so I stopped at one of the other stores in town and confirmed that, yes Kwik Clean is tomorrow. So now I am going in at midnight to help. My assistant store leader called me at about 5:30 and offered me the extra hours. I feel so bad for Milissa. She has had the worst luck since taking over our store. I told her that she has had a series of unfortunate events x 1,000. None of which is really her fault. Oh, well it should be an interesting night. And I will gladly take the overtime!

Mary/MI said...

Jodi, I hope all went well for the store manager. Did you have problems like that when you started out? I always hated starting a new job. I would be a mess for weeks lol!

JL, I remember the days when we would get eggs, bacon taters and toast all for $.99.

The Stardust Casino would have a limo waiting for us at the airport,gift basket in our room and food vouchers. Now we only get free rooms and glad to get them!

Waving at the "Barbs" and Dianne!!!

Just_Lin said...

Barb Isn't it sad that a computer is considered old after 5 years? I guess that will be happening to mine in the not too distant future. Fortunately, one of my good friends is a computer guy so I think I'll be able to get as much as possible out of this computer.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Is it just me or should the store leader NOT be confused about the date of the Kwik Clean?

Just_Lin said...

Mary Well, free rooms is certainly a nice comp. I guess they have enough people in the casinos that they no longer have to have the elaborate and inexpensive buffets to lure them in like they once did.

Jodi said...

MARY - I didn't have that problem starting anywhere! I just walk in like I own the place! Ha!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Upon talking to others in our district, there was plenty of emails with the correct date. I will give her a pass this time. And take the overtime!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi or rather good evening. Not much going on. I've been to the eye dr one day and the dentist the next and missed two hail,storms. We did go to the Coach outlet store the other night as a family (including Louis) to get a small purse for Kayla's 16th birthday next week. She hasn't used one since she was about three. Then we all went out to dinner. Ok....I bought one for me too!!!

Jodi, you do e with your to and now getting a chance to rest? I hope so. Good thing you are so nice and young.

JL. I want to see that movie and now I want to see it more. Glad you had a good time with your brother.

Boy Mary, I didn't realize Vegas was that expensive to eat. Whew--$44 for a buffet. That's a lot I think!!

Barb, my hours band swears by anything Apple makes. You'd think we own the company.

I've been taking mega doses of prednisone and sure putting on the pounds. I'm weaning off but it will take a month...vert discouraging.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I got a two hour nap after work yesterday, and a solid 6 hours last night. I'm good!

Jodi said...

Sam and I had so much fun after I picked her up from work. She decided that she wanted to carve pumpkins. We seriously hadn't done that together in about at least 8 years! We are going to carve one each every week until Halloween. We will have a whole line outside the house by then.

Jodi said...

Have a good day HOoters ♥