Pages

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Ultimate Ethnic Joke.......


by Dianne

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, an Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an I Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans, 
....Walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maƮtre d', after scrutinizing the group.

"You can't come in here without a Thai."

69 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Dianne LOL!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi.well. Today my granddaughter turns 16. It's hard to believe. She's having a pool/sleepover party at her dads on Saturday. Tonight we are going to dinner. She will get her license in a couple of days. I guess you have to have an appt and they didn't know that ahead of time...she was bummed.

We're having some cold and rain move in today. It's nice for a change. I hope not tomorrow though as I have one more grandsons football game to go to tomorrow afternoon. I guess I can use my new Coach umbrella. Lol. I think I need an intervention. It all started again last week taking kayla there for her bday present and me wandering. I don't do well at that in that store.

Jodi, I hope you're feeling better today. How did you do going to work? That's so miserable when you are sick and trying to work too. I a, glad you had a good weekend though. Try and keep your germs on your branch, please.

JL, did you have the never ending pasta bowl at OG? I think I go there about once a week. I went this week for soup, salad and pumpkin cheesecake (1/2 of it). I really like it there.

Mary, I still get together with my ol co- workers too. Some arresting working. I do miss seeing them often. Won't be long until you go to Spain ...fun.

Barb...are you having fun on your trip? Miss you. Hope your weather isn't too hot. It sounds like California is having some really hot weather.

Our other Barb is vacationing with her daughter after spending a week moving. She must be tired. Good thing she is young.

I've been doing some fall cleaning this week every night. I'm just about done with bedroom. I've gone through every drawer, shelf, etc., and gotten rid of a lot of things. Everything looks so tidy now. I ne d to get to my office. It's the pits and I've been putting it off for months.

Ok..time for my nap.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I had to laugh when I read you have a Coach umbrella. Maybe you need an intervention. LOL

Good for you for getting into the fall cleaning. I try very hard to either throw away or donate things every week. It's amazing the amount of stuff you can accumulate when you've lived in the same house for 44 years.

Jodi said...

Good grief....totally missed the new blog yesterday!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Cute one! Maybe they'll let you in with that Coach Umbrella! lol!!

Jodi said...

I posted this in area 51:

Well, the Vicks, green tea, Emergen-C, Sudafed, and rest are doing the trick. Still have a head full of snot, but it's moving. Sneezing my fool head off, but I don't feel any worse. Thankfully it's my weekend off again, so I can concentrate on getting better this weekend.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I'll do my best to keep my germs to myself!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Same, same and it's only 22 years for us. Some days I think it would just be easier to toss in a match ;)

Jodi said...

Does anyone have any big plans for the weekend?

Best go "hoist and rinse". Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

10!!

Jodi said...

Hopefully Paul will take me dancing Saturday night. We weren't able to do that yet as part of celebrating our 25th Anniversary!

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi,,well, a few plans. We went to my grandsons high school game tonight and won 18-16. Tomorrow going to my SIL (ex) for Kayla's bday party. We won't stay long but for dinner and for a couple of hours. Sunday we are going to a bronco party. I ordered a pastry/bread tray from the bakery to take on Sunday. So, now that I write it...I guess we do have some plans.

My niece came over today to earn $$. She cleaned my baseboards for three hours on her hands and knees. She's coming back next week to dust and clean my two curio cabinets and China cabinet My baseboards were really dusty and I can't get down there to wipe them any more. She's a good worker.

I'm just about done with fall cleaning the bedroom. One more thing then on to the next room. I don't know where my energy is coming from. I'm cleaning like about 11pm. I'm not a day cleaner!! Wouldn't want to miss a luncheon or nap!'!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

P S. Jodi...how are you feeling?

Mary/MI said...

LOL @ the joke!!

It has been pretty boring around here. Just hum drum house work.Dianne, I can reach the base boards, but would rather not lol! Maybe a Cabana boy is available eh?
Jim has been outside preparing things for the dreaded winter! I won't let him but the patio set away yet lol!
I hope he does some tree/branch trimming. When we get heavy snow, the branches get in the way when we pull into the drive. I only mention it to him every year lol. Sometimes he actually does it :)

My next 3 week end are full. A wedding, Karaoke job, and VFW stuff. I need to get my luggage repaired. A zipper was ripped off on the last trip. I don't dare leave it like that. I am afraid the open pocket could get caught on something and get ripped out!

Have a great week end everyone!





Just_Lin said...

Yesterday was a lost cause for me. I got a stomach ache after having my morning coffee so chugged down some Mylanta and went back to bed. I slept for hours but at least I felt better when I woke up.

Today my big adventure was to go grocery shopping. It's been a long time since I did major shopping on a Saturday and, OMG, never again!!! I couldn't believe how crowded it was and how long the check out lines were. Lesson learned.

Just_Lin said...

Mary It sounds like you have lots of fun stuff coming up. Good for you! I'm looking forward to the 19th when my daughter and I fly down to Long Beach and then embark on our little cruise the following day. Fun times!

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Too bad I don't have a niece nearby who would want to clean house for me. I think you've got a good thing going there.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Are you out dancing tonight or home resting and recuperating?

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Sounds like a fun weekend! Please wish Miss Kayla a Happy Sweet 16 ♥

Jodi said...

MARY - I will see you online for the Sunway Show. I know you won't want to miss Markus!! *hot German alert*!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - We did lunch today. Still not feeling 100 percent, so we decided not to go dancing tonight. Although I did plenty on my "day off". Laundry, took Sam to work, WalMart run, lunch with Paul, finished laundry, took Jake to work and picked Sam back up from work. Whew!! Just watching The Hunger Games on ABC Family until The Sunway Show starts on Livestream.

Jodi said...

Well, that was fun!! Markus was a complete joy to watch on Sunway's Show! I also won the "German Word of the Day"!! Totally getting swag from Germany. 3 of Markus's cd's and a t'shirt from the bar he owns!

Good night HOoters ♥

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Sounds like you had a very busy day. I hope you don't have a relapse. I don't think you know what taking it easy means. LOL

Oh, and a high five for the swag!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Thanks, but its all I know. Just keeping on pushing my trifecta of Emergen-C, green tea, and Sudafed.

Dianne/Denver said...

Yea....Broncos won again! Fun party with lots of yummy food. I like the food at the early morning games the best. My bakery tray turned out really nice too. It's about time for my nap now. It's kind of gloomy and rainy out today. I like it for a change.

Jodi, don't overdo or you will have a relapse like JL said ...rest some.

Barb, you're back? How was trip? Anxious to,hear all about it. Missed you.

Barb in co..you back too?

JL, is your tummy back to normal? I wish my niece lived by you and you could hire her. I'm telling you my baseboards are sparkling. She did a great job. Remind me where you're going on your cruise and for how long? I wish I was going on a trip especially a cruise. I'd like to do a New Years one.

Mary.....hi..

Just_Lin said...

Dianne My tummy is fine. That problem lasted less than a day.

I am leaving Sunday with my daughter and we are flying down to Long Beach and spending the night. Monday morning we get on the ship. It is just a 4 day cruise that will go to Catalina Island and Ensenada. We fly home on the 24th.

Just_Lin said...

I have been very good about doing the arm exercises. There are new ones included now to try and loosen my shoulder up enough so I can reach behind my back again. All I can say about those particular exercises is....It feels so good when I stop. LOL

sacBarb said...

Jodi, Thanks for alerting me that I was a blog behind. I don't know how I missed this one. So if anyone wants to know what I wrote, go to area 51.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Welcome home! I went to Area 51 and read your comments. Sounded like you had a very nice time. Was it hot? The blueberry wine sounds interesting. Looking forward to tasting it unless you drink it before then. LOL

Jodi said...

SLIN - I know of the exercises of which you speak. Keep up the good work!

Jodi said...

BARB - You're welcome!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Congrats on the win! I was warching the game at the birthday party I went to and listened on the, way home. I didn't realize it had come down to the last seconds for the Packers! A co-worker told me to get Alka Seltzer Plus Day and Night liquid gels. Took the night one at about 6 last night, and good night Irene! Knocked me out. Best sleep I've gotten in a week!

Jodi said...

On the way home from taking Sam to work yesterday, I stopped and picked up a roast beef, red potatoes and carrots. Filled my crock pot. Not a bit left. I think it is the favorite thing that I do in the crock pot. Often times on Sunday this is what my Mom would make for dinner. Total comfort food!!

Jodi said...

I best get prettied up for work. I have a short shift today, and I'm going out for lunch with my friend Christina that used to work at my store.

Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

35!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Three cheers for getting a good night's sleep. That's the best medicine of all.

Because of breaking my shoulder, I am scheduled today to get a bone density test and also blood work to test for Vitamin D in my blood. I suspect all will be fine.

Jodi said...

SLIN - How did the testing go?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I won't have results for a while. Technician said doctor would probably contact me with scan results in a week or week in a half. I'll probably hear back about the blood work before then. Took myself to Kohl's afterwards and treated myself to a few new tops. :)

sacBarb said...

Hello HOoters.

I'm in the movie theater parking lot waiting for Sharon. We are going to see Gone Girl. I read the book in January and have been waiting for the movie. I hope they stuck to the book 'cause it was really good. BBL

Jodi said...

BARB - Sam and I want to see both Gone Girl and The Judge. Can't wait to hear your review. I think I have Gone Girl downloaded on my Nook. I really should read it.

Jodi said...

Hoping I don't make a fool of myself tonight. I'm subbing for the first time this season and haven't bowled since last spring. OY!!

Just_Lin said...

Barb Hope the movie is as good as the book. It looks like it will be.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Read it!

Jodi said...

Well, Paul is being an ass, so no bowling tonight. I guess I will start that book.

sacBarb said...

The movie was pretty good and stayed pretty close to the book. It did leave out a few things, but I guess they always have to do that or movies would be 3-4 hours long.

Jodi, definitely read the book. I read it in three days. I couldn't put it down.

We also saw the trailer for 50 Shades of Grey and the lead character look nothing like I pictured when I read the book. The guy is supposed to be drop dead gorgeous so women fall all over him and he did nothing for me! ijs

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I'm sorry your night didn't go as planned. Maybe somebody thinks you need to stay home and rest a bit. ;)

Just_Lin said...

Barb I'm glad to hear that the movie was good.

I have no interest in seeing the 50 Shades movie. I read the books and in my mind's eye I pictured David Beckham as Christian. Not that I think Beckham is particularly great looking but I think it's because of the attitude he portrays in the ads that he's in.

Just_Lin said...

48

Just_Lin said...

49

Just_Lin said...

50

sacBarb said...

J/L, I agree David Beckham would be a better choice. I pictured Chris Pine because he has piercing blue eyes.

Jodi said...

SLIN - I, too pictured David Beckham! He is totally hot in all the ads!

Jodi said...

BARB - Who is Chris Pine?

Jodi said...

Left work 2 1/2 hours early today. Still coughing, but what scared me is whenever I moved too fast, I felt like I was going to tip over. Waiting for urgent care to open at 5 pm, since my clinic didn't have any openings today.

Jodi said...

Well my lungs and ears are clear! Just a nasty cold. The nurse suggested taking Musinex Sinus. It has day and night tablets. And to up my water intake. My boss arranged it so I don't have to work til 6 am so I can get another good night of sleep. So, I best get my butt in bed. Good night HOoters!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Sweet dreams! Hope you're feeling much better when you wake.

Just_Lin said...

Barb I don't think I know who Chris Pine is, either. I'll have to look him up.

Just_Lin said...

It's been windy with dark skies today but no rain. :(

sacBarb said...

Jodi and J/L, Chris Pine was in the Star Trek movie a couple yeas ago and he played Jack Ryan in Shadow Recruit, early this year. He has dreamy blue eyes and I think he is a hunk. I've also seen him on the late night talk shows. Google him.

sacBarb said...

We were supposed to have rain this afternoon but it never even sprinkled. The weather people are consistently wrong!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...went to the movie monday and saw This Is. It's that movie with Tina Fey and Jane Fonda. It was pretty funny. I would rather of seen Gone Girl but this was good. I think well go see the Judge this weekend. I haven't read the book.

Today I had to go to two drs and take my pants off!!! What a pain. One was a bladder dr. This old bladder just is a little droopy nowadays.

I met my granddaughters for dinner tonight. Kayla drove them by themselves. She got her license today. Gosh we worry about her every second. She looks so grown up driving.

Jodi, I hope you start feeling better soon. You've been sick long enough.

Got tickets to see Neil Diamond in May with my daughter and nephew. I've seen him a few times but I like to go to his shows.

Well, I'm drifting off to sleep do good night hooters

Jodi said...

SLIN - I slept really well last night!

Jodi said...

BARB - I googled Chris Pine. You're right...those eyes!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Feeling better this morning. And I agree. Ain't nobody got time for this!!! Another movie on my "to see" list. Congrats to Kayla for getting her license. That reminds me, I need to get Jake signed for Driver's Ed.

Jodi said...

Best get prettied up for work. Waving a wing at MARY & BARB IN CO via WA!!

Have a good day HOoters ♥

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I had to take my pants off for the bone density test. You're right. It is a pain.

I got my results last night via email from my doctor. I have osteopenia. That is that I have less bone density as normal but it's not as bad as osteoporosis. So she tells me I should take 1200mg calcium daily, preferably by diet and only use supplements when needed. ???? How the hell am I supposed to figure that out every day? Plus, some things like milk, I am only supposed to have no more than 1/2 cup a day due to my borderline kidney issues. This all gets way to complicated. I wrote her back but got an automatic response that she will be out of office until 10/31. Oh, well. We can only do what we can do. I eat a well rounded diet so I think I better just go ahead and take supplements. I know exercise is important for bones, too, so I will be getting back to that as soon as my shoulder is a little better.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Chris Pine does have beautiful eyes. My Christian needs to have a more dangerous edge to him, though.

sacBarb said...

J/L, You are so right about the dangerous edge for Christian. However, I think Chris Pine played a super hero in some movie, so maybe he can pull off the dangerous edge. It really doesn't matter though, because he didn't get the part. David Beckham does have that edge, I think, but alas he didn't get the part either!

Just_Lin said...

69 just because.