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Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Pickle Factory

by Dianne

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist. After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist gave up. He then advised Yossel to go ahead and do it, otherwise he would probably never have any peace of mind. The next day Yossel came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

For the first time, Yossel tearfully confessed to her his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely-intact penis. She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"

Yossel replied, “I think she got fired, too.”

215 comments:

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Just_Lin said...

Woo Hoo! New page! Hope everyone has a good day. It looks like it rained a bit earlier this morning but now I'm seeing some blue skies and white clouds. I hope the weather holds as the woman who takes my dog along with a group of dogs active running, playing, and hiking, is having a party today for her clients and canine friends. I plan to stop in. Ought to be fun and my dog gets so happy and excited to join other dogs for activities.

Jodi said...

MARY - I can't wait either!!

Jodi said...

Happy First day of March HOoters! Don't forget to set your clocks ahead next weekend. I love that the days are getting longer!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...anything exciting going on for anyone? Jodi, your trip will be here before you know it.

Barb, are you any better? I hope so.

Today was nail, pedi, wax day.... Expensive day. Tomorrow is hair day. I've been packing off and on all day too. There is supposed to be snow here on Tuesday so I hope i can get out. Yesterday the whole Dallas airport was closed down. I thought I was going to warm country. I'm not taking a heavy coat so it better be warm. I don't have room to pack it.

Tonight I watched Dateline. Did you happen to watch it JL? It was about the Concordia Itslian cruise ship that crashed a couple of years ago I hope Barb didn't watch it. Lol we will never get her on a cruise. It makes me a little nervous watching it myself. Glad that captain got sentenced. Scary!!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Good luck on Tuesday! I love pampering days!

Jodi said...

Yesterday I did 3 loads of laundry. When Jake got home with Paul, I told him to take the load out that was in the dryer, and put the 4th load in. The load that was in the dryer was still quit damp. Something is going on and the dryer isn't spinning. Ugh!!! I hope Paul can get that fixed today!

Jodi said...

Success!! Paul was able to fix the dryer! The belt had come off. He thought he might as well get a new one since he had it all tore apart. Yay!!

Mary/MI said...

So, here you are lol! I forget that
we have to "turn the page" lol!

Just_Lin,I would love to have your weather! We have winter storm warnings for tomorrow. Calls for rain to turn to ice to turn to snow...or is it the other way around? LOL!!!

Hodi, my girlfriend and her Hubby are in Hawaii right now :(. I am so jealous! Mostly because you two can travel with your hubbys!I wish I could get Jim on a plane to anywhere but Vegas!

Dianne, You have been a little Betty Crocker lately! I watched the Dateline special. Man, what a crazy cruise that was! Hard to believe the passengers were not given a safety rehearsal! As far as I'm concerned, that on gal was the big hero that night!
Shshshsh, Barb has good ears lol!

Barb, are you ok? Maybe lost in area 51 like I was ???

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Yay that Paul could fix the dryer. I have clothes in my dryer right now that I will have to de-wrinkle. LOL I have a real problem about getting clothes out of there in a timely manner.

I did very little today. I was just feeling very, very lazy. Not sure why but maybe it's due to my asthma acting up lately. We're getting things blooming around here.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne No, I didn't see that show. What a tragedy that was. I won't let it stop me from enjoying my next cruise, though, whenever that may be.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Too bad you can't get Jim to go somewhere besides Vegas. Do you think his smoking has something to do with it? I know when I was a smoker, it was hard for me to take long flights. I wanted to climb the walls of the plane after about 2 hours.

Dianne/Denver said...

Well, Im All packed and my suitcase is 3 pounds over. I hoping they won't notice it with a decent tip. Did I ever mention that I HATE packing? Takes me so long. It should weigh less coming back as I'll be dropping a few things off there. Snow tomorrow but hoping it will wait until I get out of here.

Mary, I agree with you on that gal being a hero. I think I would have been one of the dead ones. All that climbing upside down and swinging from ropes. Nope I don't think so.

Jodi, glad your dryer got easily fixed. Mine isn't drying great either. Could you send your fix it man over here?

JL, nice that you already have things blooming. We're not even close. And thanks you just reminded me that I have clothes in the dryer at 2:30 AM that I need to get out.

I'll check in while I'm gone for the next two weeks. Don't forget me!!

Jodi said...

MARY - This is the first time I have gotten Paul on a plane in over 20 years!! I am so looking forward to sharing these islands with him!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I know as a smoker I have a tough enough time. And you know how long of a flight Hawaii is. But it is so totally worth it!!! We are flying thru Phoenix this trip. It was the best option for us dollar wise, plus I think it's a bit easier breaking it up. We shall see how it goes. I at least booked Paul the isle seat. Should help with his height!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Enjoy your trip! Send us a ticket, and I'd be happy to share ;)

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