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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Irish Humor


by Dianne

In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin.  However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying.  Below is a perfect example of those teachings . . .
   
Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs
 
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'
 
'Of course child.  What may I do for you?'
 
'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday.  It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.  Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?'
 
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
 
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
 
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
 
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
 
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
 
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
 
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father.  Next please!'

16 comments:

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi......were in Pueblo tonight and yes Mary, it's in colorado...just about three hours from Denver. We left at 3:30 and stopped for dinner on the way down. College is paying for hotel so that's nice. Louis goes at 8 am for meetings and my friend is picking me up at 11:30 for lunch. We should be on road home by 2:00. Nice break from doctors and dentists.

The blog is changing fast these days. Barb, r u doing ok?

sacBarb said...

I'm here, I'm here!!! I have been without internet for over a week, including on my phone and iPad! Comcast couldn't get out here until yesterday. But I'm up and running now.

Dianne, Not sure what to think of this priest! He certainly was creative, but...I laughed anyway! I hope you had a nice visit with your friend in Pueblo. My hubby used to go with me sometimes when I had to travel for work. He would usually play golf while I was at a meeting or training. One time, in San Diego, he couldn't remember where he parked the rental car, so he walked all over looking for it. He finally found it on Santa Barbara Street. He never lived that down as I reminded him frequently about his memory lapse!

sacBarb said...

Mary, I am so jealous that you got to see Santana, but I wouldn't have done all that walking to see anyone! I definitely would have taken a taxi both ways! ;)

sacBarb said...

J/L, I have been watching DWTS and I so agree about Gary. He is a total train wreck. I don't like Paula either. She certainly doesn't like criticism! Alek is really good and I think he has a chance to win it.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I read you comment about Melissa having a s**t fit about meeting with the district supervisor. She probably knows it wouldn't go well for her. You have to do whatever is good for you. Just keep documenting!

Mary/MI said...

Yay! Barb is back!Welcome home!
It has been quiet in the nest.
I have been "supervising" the men here lol! Our garage pump/water faucet sprung a leak this week. Jim an Matt had to cut up the cement near the garage and dig deep to find it! A lot of choice words have been exchanged in the process! They had to replace a long piece of pipe that had corroded. They are leaving the hole open over night to make sure there is no leak. They would have been done quicker, but Jim is a stubborn old goat and has his own way of doing things which have been proven wrong more than once this week!He finally took Matt's advice and duh, all went well!
Our old washing machine took a dump and we had a new one put in. I called someone to pick up the old one. I told Jim to move his new car so the guy could back up close to the house. He insisted he could roll it on the dolly cart to the man's truck...fine... now he has a big ole dent in his prized new car...men!!

I am heading to FB. After midnight it is nearly impossible to get in because of all west coasters jumping in (that would be a few of you lol). Sometimes it's a bitch here in the boonies! Right now I love it! The weather has been perfect for my walks.
Jim should be back with a pizza soon, so I'll sign off for now :)

sacBarb said...

Hello HOoters. I am having some of the walls in my kitchen painted this weekend. The same woman that painted it six years ago is doing it. Yesterday she did all the prep: washing the walls, taping, removing all the plug and light switch coverings. I am also having the divider between the kitchen and the living room painted white. Today she painted all the green walls and tomorrow she will be back to do touch ups. I chose a taupe color and I really like it. I will try to post a pic on FB, but since Chad isn't here, I may not get it right.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Cute blog...and the priest WAS being honest! Congrats on the Broncos win last night!

Jodi said...

BARB - So I ended up having a meeting with Milissa and our Assistant Store Leader Adam on Friday. My mouth got me in trouble...a co-worker heard me venting and took it back to Milissa. Some days it is just best to keep my mouth shut. I explained it was because I was venting, and she was ok with that. The only positive thing about our conversation is that I will be having a follow up with Kristy our District Leader. It is at that time I can voice my concerns without it being me that went to her. Wish me luck!!!

Jodi said...

MARY - Waving a wing from Wisconsin! Good thing you keep those menfolk in line! We are having one more day of highs in the 70's, and of course some rain with come with that. By Tuesday highs will be in the 60's and lows in the 40's. So long summer ;)

Jodi said...

Alex texted me yesterday. They need me to bowl again tonight. Last week went well. I ended up with a 117 average. Not bad for not touching my ball for over a year. lol!!

Yesterday Paul and I went for a nice drive. We went across the Merrimac Ferry, went to Devil's Lake and explored Pewit's Nest. It is in a beautiful part of our state that has a lot of bluffs and valleys. The colors here are just starting to change. In a couple of weeks it will be spectacular!!

Best go hoist and rinse. Have a great week HOoters ♥

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, this has been a time bomb ticking so I'm glad it will work out for you. I hope her hearing didn't get u in too much trouble...actually no trouble. It's been upsetting you for a long time and you don't need that stress.
Thanks for the shoutout for our win tonight. It was not an easy game. I think they have a good quarterback. They got boo'd and I don't like that. Both teams played hard. Mary would not wear her Bronco tassels for this one game.

Barb, your paint job sounds nice. I have that color in my bedroom. We had two women paint when we moved in. I liked it because they didn't leave a mess and did a good job. I guess I should congratulate you (gulp) for your team winning today. We play you in a couple of weeks. Let's bet....how many points will you give me? Lol.

Mary, sorry about your loss tonight. It is was a tough game and your crowd was very loud!! Have you ever gone to one of the games?

JL, I think you are back today, right? Did you have fun? Was it hot? Speaking of football, your team didn't fair too well today. They missed your cheering.

My cousins from Texas are coming Saturday and staying until Wednesday. It's a girl trip so should be fun. We are having a family party at Tammy's on Saturday and then a Bronco party there on Sunday. We will go in the mountains on Monday to go gambling.

Went to my youngest grandson's football game Saturday and Louis went to the older ones game. Boy, it was hot sitting out there.

Guess I'd better go to bed as its pretty late. Night.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi JODI, we were typing together. Your pictures today looked really pretty. Our colors are pretty much changed now. We will be in mid 80's all week and then drop into high 60's on Saturday.

sacBarb said...

New blog up>

sacBarb said...

New blog up>

sacBarb said...

oops!