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Wednesday, November 4, 2015

FEAR OF FLYING...

by Dianne 

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft.  A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.  The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled:

"Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket … he had told me before we took off that he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, Mayday!!" 

The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately. "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!"

He began his series of questions: 

Tower: " How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?" 

Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter dial in front of me." 

Tower: "Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?"

Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me." 

Tower: “ Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast, so how do you know you're flying upside down?" 

Aircraft: “The sh#*... in my pants is running out of my shirt collar!" 

20 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Well, just.....eeeewwww!!!

Just_Lin said...

I'm on my way to SoCal this morning. My reunion isn't until Saturday. I have made my final decision on what I'm wearing for that and it is just going to have to be good enough. It's being held at the local country club so I imagine some of the females will be wearing cocktail type dresses. I have decided I want to wear black slacks and a sharp looking black and white tailored blouse that I got recently. I feel good in it and it's comfortable. The only dress requirement for the event is that there is no denim allowed and men need to wear shirts with collars. I will be staying at my brother's house and he doesn't have wi-fi so I will probably be MIA until I return on the night of the 10th. Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone.

Dianne/Denver said...

Have a great time

Mary/MI said...

Enjoy JustLin!! Your outfit sounds perfect!

Dianne, wel,l poop in the air is not exactly the way I would want to fly!!

Jodi,It is gorgeous here in Mich. Thanks for sending more tomorrow :) You know what's coming soon ! :(

Barb,have you found your way here???

Other Barb, isn't "face to face" awesome? Your Gr Baby is changing daily, so I am glad you can see him :) on F TO F

I am off to look for a certain cupcake place that I have seen on PBS and in the paper. Tomorrow I am treating some young family members to dinner at a restaurant for their Birthdays (my late Bros. fam). I want to bring special cupcakes instead of cake. Hope I find it lol!!

sacBarb said...

Whew! I'm glad there is a new blog up, although with Hodi's help I did finally find you guys on the last one. I swear I checked to see if there was a page two but I must have been in the twilight zone. Anyway, I got caught up.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Have a good time at your reunion. It's good to see people you haven't seen for a long time and catch up on their lives. You outfit sounds like it will be perfect. Comfort is important. I hope you get some pics to post so we can see it.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I hope your dentist is replacing this bridge for free since it isn't that old!

sacBarb said...

Jodi, thanks again for the help. I am afraid I am getting feeble in my old age.

sacBarb said...

Mary, So sorry about your Aunt, but it's good that you got to see her one last time.

sacBarb said...

Barbara in CO, Harrison is such a cutie. Love the pics you have posted.

sacBarb said...

Waving at you, Renee. I hope all is well with you.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi....Barb, yes as far as I know the bridge is not a charge to me. This time they are putting metal in It to try and last. I sure hope it works this time.

Tonight Louis and I watched the Country Music Award show and wrapped Christmas presents. We didn't finish but made a big dent. I gave him the hard things to wrap. It wasn't so bad with the show on. Louis was not thrilled to spend three hours wrapping. The girls usually wrap for $$ but I wanted to get a head start.

JL, I think your outfit sounds perfect too. Maybe you will renew an old acquaintance there ...wink wink.

Mary and Jodi...get ready. We've had beautiful weather too but it's raining now and turning to snow by morning. I'm sending it your way.

Mary, did you find the cupcake place. What did you get there?

Barb, I don't like the blog to go to two pages either. It confuses me too.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi..Where are you all today? I know where JL is but not the rest of you. We did not have snow at our house only rain and it was dry by the time I was out and about. Went out for a birthday lunch and then we did a one store shopping. What a pain..the lady in front of us was returning $600 worth of clothes and then buying about that amount too. The clerk said she doesn't try them on and then will probably return them in a couple of weeks. Rude!

My ex sister in law took me to lunch and fought me a carrot cake. She's a wonderful baker.

Came home and was irritated with Louis...so took a nap...over it now.

Mary/MI said...

Dianne, I decided to go to my Aunt's funeral. It was over an hour trip
to my sister's house and then almost 3 hrs to the funeral. It was good seeing all my relatives. We didn't stay long. I was hoping I didn't have to drive home in the dark, but with the time change it didn't happen. My hubby and son would have had a heart attack if they had seen the booboo I did trying to get on the express way back home! I missed my turn and had to go through 4 red lights before I could turn around! I didn't dare stop at any of them because it was a very confusing multi-turns area and I was the only one there! Also it is Friday night and soo much traffic . Thanks goodness I survived!! I have done that trip many times. I hope I never do that again!!!
I didn't get much sleep last night and then had to get up early to leave. I think that had a lot to do with my dumb moves!
I did find the cupcake place. The place is "Sweeti-licious" she has been featured in the NY Times, Today show,and won many Best of Shows.
Time to relax.....

sacBarb said...

Mary, That trip home from the funeral must have been very scary. I'm happy that you got home safely. I'm sorry about your Aunt. It was good of you to go see her before she passed away. (((HUGS))) to you and your family.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, it's 10pm and only two hours until your birthday, so I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday in case I don't get back here tomorrow. I hope your day is filled with merriment and fun with family and friends.

Mary/MI said...

Dianne, I cannot believe you Broncs didn't win on your Birthday!!!
Whatsamattawitdem???
Happy Birthday anyhoo!!!

Thanks SacBarb, She really was funny especially as she got older.

Today was one lazy ass day here! I barley moved until late afternoon. I did make a big Mexican dinner. Now we are lying around all bloated and burping lol!!
I am watching "Eat,Pray, and Love"...later...

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi.....thanks for the birthday wishes. JL, thanks for the nice card. I went to breakfast with my friend Barb today and then out to dinner with Tammy and family tonight. It as to celebrate both our birthdays. The girls touched me as they found a card that said Nana on it and it was so sweet. They wrote special notes too and gave me a gift card. Louis and I are going out to my favorite place tomorrow night.

We went to my cousins 50th last night and then four of us went to hear my friends band. There were a few other friends there too so it was a very fun night. The whole place even sang to me. It was like the old old bar days except we were home by 9!!!

JL, hope you had fun at your reunion last night. We're there a lot of people there?

Yes Mary, the darn Broncos lost today. Our first loss and then we had too many penalties. There was a pushing fight at the end of the game and one of our players went up to the other guy and tried to poke his eyes out. He would have been ejected but the game was over. I think he'll be fined and in a lot of trouble.

There are sure a lot of Christmas decorations at the shopping centers. Did I miss Thanksgiving?

Dianne/Denver said...

Thanks for the nice birthday song Tina. It sounds beautiful.

Barb, thank you for the nice made card. You do great work.

Louis and I went out to dinner tonight to my favorite place. Had a good steak but brought a lot home. They brought a huge piece of chocolate cake for a special dessert .brought that home too. The give you shots of ouzo after dinner. We are the two non drinkers and drank two shots each..yum.

My friend took me out to lunch today and another one is tomorrow. I'm celebrating a lot!

That's about it. I have cataracts and called about getting them done before the end of the year but they are booked. I was trying to get in on this years deductible. Darn it!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hello....anyone around?