Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Military Has Enlistments Backwards

by Dianne

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes?  If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog.

What fun thing are you doing today? I have no plans except to have dinner with Jane and John. John's doing great. All is back to normal now.

Jodi said...

SLIN - I hope you enjoyed dinner. I'm glad John is doing well. I worked. That was fun. NOT!!! Just chilling before going to bed. I work and have therapy tomorrow. I have Friday off before working the weekend. I'm so thankful she is giving me every other Friday off again. Those 7 day stretches were not helping my recovery.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi It's not good for mind, body, or spirit to be working 7 days in a row. Not cost effective for them, either. You need time to have a life beyond work.

sacBarb said...

Helloooo where is everyone?

I am back from San Diego and I have my kitties back and all is good! They were not real receptive when I first let them out of the carriers, but they have finally come around this afternoon. When I first let them out, they went to every room in the house to check everything, I guess. They appear to be satisfied with what they saw. I was pretty tired today and took a nap this afternoon. I hope that won't affect my sleeping tonight!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...I'm here. Went to our last great show here in Branson tonight. We leave for Ozarks for a day tomorrow. We have a nice dinner cruise to end the vacation. We saw two shows today and even fit in a nap. The morning shows are at 10am and they want u there 45 min early so we've had some early days but we go to bed at fairly reasonable times too. We've been really lucky with not being too crowded. I guess the end of the month for the summer it's wall to wall traffic plus it's already 95 today. We've had a really good time and Louis liked it much better than he thought he would as all kinds of music and shows..different types . I think he's ready to even come back. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it here. Every day we see our favorite show until we see the next one and the tickets are reasonable.

Glad u are home nice and safe with your kitties, Barb. See how good they did? We're u ready to come home? I'm hardly ever ready to end a vacation. I love the lifestyle!! Wish I could afford it all the time. Keep thinking about that cruise. Anything else planned for the summer?

What are the rest of you up too? Mary, I know you're missing the snow!! :)

Time for bed as we want to get a decent start in the morning so we can explore Osage Beach. Night all.

Just_Lin said...

Barb I'm glad you and your kitties are all settled in. Let me know when you watch last Tuesday night's Bachelorette. That Chad is a real scary dude.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Nothing exciting going on here. I managed to walk the dog. My sciatica bothered me but not as bad as it sometimes is. I was lucky in that respect. I'm trying to do more walking no matter what. I did go out for a late breakfast. You seem to be going on a lot of them. I'm glad you are enjoying your travels and all the shows you are seeing. I got tickets for my daughter and I to go into SF on July 9 to see Cabaret. I'm looking forward to that. Otherwise, no trips in the near future. I usually visit my brother in SoCal in late Sept.

I guess it's time to get into bed and read for a while. I hope the dog doesn't snore tonight.

Mary/MI said...

JL, I try to do stretches in the morning and evening before bed. Sometimes I do them in the afternoon. I love doing them on my new patio. I use the rail to do some of the knee and thigh swings. I have to admit I walk a lot easier when I do the exercises more often. Did I read right? Your dog snores? LMAO! I am glad Zoie doesn't. It's bad enough that Jim does!!

Dianne, My long road trips are over for me. My knee can't handle sitting more than 2 or 3 hrs. I usually wear special socks on trips especially in the air. I would love seeing shows! I have never been to Bronson. Do they have Casinos there? It's the only way I could get Jim there lol!

Barb,Jim was only gone a couple of days. A week would have been better lol! I am glad you are still considering a cruise. I get enough cold weather here, so I always opt for warm places to go. I may go next year with my Niece Lorie from Texas and her Hubby and daughter. It is killing me having no travel plans right now! I am seriously considering meeting up with Beverly and her friend in Vegas and visiting Yellow Stone park. I'm just not sure about the long road trip.

Jodi, How great to see you and the family are doing better! Try not to hurt yourselves all at one time again MK??
How cool that Sam is advancing in her job! She must have gotten a great work ethic from her hard working parents!

All is well here. Our temps and humidity are a bit high today, but my bones are loving it!
There is a lot of construction going on around our neck of the woods! My usual routs to shopping all have detours involved! I have to go out of my way at least 6 miles either way! A bridge being repaired on one road, a total road ripping out and repair on my main road which closes up two of my routs! Oye Vey! I hate driving my vehicles on dirt roads!! Rant over ....
Enjoy your week end, peeps!!!

Jodi said...

Just checking in quick. I had therapy this morning, it was going well until I got up too quick from a squat and boom! I had the most incredible headache. I tried breathing through it on my next set, but it got worse. It freaked me out. Especially because it came on so quickly. Dan had me stop, and gave me something to rehydrate me (similar to Gatorade), and then did electrical stim on the back of my neck and my traps to help release the headache. It took awhile, but it helped. I've been laying kind of low the rest of the day.

Jodi said...


Just_Lin said...

It looks like we've all been "laying low" for a couple of days. Yesterday was a beautiful and sunny day. I washed my car which it greatly appreciated as it has been the target of many a neighborhood bird lately. Fortunately, they are mostly little birds. :) So, I did that at around 3:00 or 4:00. Last night at about 11:00 I was hearing the sound of water trickling. I follow the noise into the attached garage and I see that I failed to turn off the faucet at the garage sink 100%. Yikes! What a waste of water.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Yes, my dog sometimes snores. It's especially annoying when she has her head on the pillow next to mine and is facing me. When my husband used to do that, I could just nudge him and he'd roll over. That doesn't work with the dog. LOL

I've been trying to do some stretches in the morning for my back and hips but most of the time I forget. I'm also trying to be more conscious of bending knees instead of bending my back for even the simplest things like picking up the dog's bowl.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi That headache of yours sure came out of the blue. I hope you are feeling much better now. Check in and let us know how you're doing. Other than the headache, it sounds like you are doing well with the physical therapy.

Just_Lin said...

Feeling saddened, angry, and disgusted about the mass shooting in Florida. A wife-beating, scumbag, hater, terrorist POS causing so much destruction and pain.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi....we are home. We woke up st 6:30am and decided to get ready and hit the road as we had 6-1/2 hours of driving time ahead of us. We gained an hour so that helped too. Now I have about 4-5 loads of wash to do.ugh!! I've done one. We were going to go eat to wind up r trip but we have decided on ordering pizza. We are pooped. We had a wonderful trip and I wish it was just starting. Louis is always glad to get home.

The mass shooting is horrible. You aren't safe anywhere any more. Those people didn't have a chance. Once again it is a sad time for our country.

JL, I wonder if you are snoring and the dog is thinking that about you. :) Does the dog have its own bed...that could be a solution

Jodi, how are you feeling? Hope you recovered fast from that headache. At least they were able to give you some relief. I wonder what caused it?

Mary and Barb....waving to you while I get ready to do another load of wash and stare at the suitcase that needs unpacking.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne The dog does have a bed in the living room that she uses during the day but at night she sleeps on my bed. Yes, I have been told that I snore, too.

Dianne/Denver said...

Ok...I'm done unpacking suitcases. I've sorted through the gifts I bought others and myself. Now I just have bags everywhere. My cleaning lady was comming Wednesday and I was getting stressed with the mess but she agreed to change to next week.

Went to the dentist today to get measured for my plate I have to wear while I'm waiting for implants and bridge. My othervsidechascbern good but started hurting again tonight. Great. I'm very very nervous about Friday...of being put to sleep and the whole process.

JL, you and your dog must be quite a noisy pair at night!!

Just_Lin said...