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Saturday, November 24, 2012

British Humor

by Sac Barb


These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers.

 
 
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER

8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

 
FREE PUPPIES

1/2
Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

 
FREE PUPPIES
 
Mother is a Kennel Club registered
German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


 
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED
 
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.00


 
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

 
**** And the WINNER is... ****

 
FOR SALE BY OWNER
 Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200.00 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything

42 comments:

Lynn D said...

Morning glories!

I love British Humour! Mr. Lynn D thinks I was British in a former life.

I don't have an answer about the blog. I do think that people are right you don't need a new one everyday. I also understand Tina wanting to step away. Especially since she was just doing it for Michael.

I have to go check in on my Dad and his wife today. Some times life is just so damn sad.

Jodi said...

BARB - Thanks for the chuckle this morning :)

LYNN - Do u need a hug?? Sending one from Wisconsin <3

Tinka said...

Good Morning Lynn and Jodi - Sending hugs to both of you.

I am getting flashes of light in my right eye and worried about my retina tearing. I won't be back on the blog until I get this worry cleared up. It would happen on the weekend when no eye doctors are available.

Be good. Stay safe. Love, Tinka

Tinka said...

Thanks Zona for doing for doing my farms while I rest my eyes. I don't know what I would do without you. Love you. Tink

Just_Lin said...

Good morning, HOoters. Sending a hug to all of you.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD I love British humor, too. I especially love the Fawlty Towers series with John Cleese. I could watch those over and over and still laugh my ass off. Hey, maybe I should try that because counting calores sure ain't working.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks for the laughs this morning.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Thanks for posting the blog today.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I don't know how you get up so early on your work days. I've been up for over an hour because my son came over to gather up more of his stuff. My body is rebelling.

Just_Lin said...

Tinka I'm worried about you. Can you go to an emergency room to have that checked out?

Jodi said...

SLIN - I've been on this schedule for 7 years!! I've always said I was a Night Owl by default, because I get up so stinking early :)

TINKA -I agree with SLIN!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi We are ships passing in the night. Of course, you're a pretty little yacht and I'm a barge...but still....

Zona said...

BARB: So funny!! It took me a while to get used to British humor..but now I love it. Monty Python gave me many 'huh?' moments..but it became one of my favorite shows...I mean come on..Ministry of Silly Walks? How perfect is that for me? ;D

I saw that a couple of the owls thought that I would be good at doing the blog when TINA steps aside..I have to decline. It's just something I can't take on right now..I'm really sorry.

TINKA: I agree with JODI and J/LIN..please don't hesitate to go to the ER if the flashes get worse..ok? Rest as much as you can this weekend. ♥♥ :)

Waving a wing at LYNN, J/LIN and JODI!

Have a good day everyone!

Just_Lin said...

14

Just_Lin said...

Zona Some of Monty Python still makes me go "huh", especially those things that were related to their politics or current (at the time) cultural things that I wasn't aware of. There are many classic skits in that series, such as "The Lumberjack Song" and, of course, "The Ministry of Silly Walks". John Cleese is so hysterical. One of my favorite episodes of "Fawlty Towers" is when he has German guests at his hotel and he doesn't want to mention the war but keeps doing the goose step. It is so damn funny!!!

Mary/MI said...

Happy Saturday Hooters!
Loved the British humor!
I loved 'Mr Bean"

Sending hugs to LynnD and Tinka and to anyone who needs them.

I had been flirting with the idea of going shopping today, but just couldn't get motivated.
Now I need to do something productive besides cooking,cleaning and clothes washing eh? did I just say that??
I guess what I mean is that I need to finish some projects I started lol!
Jodi got me started on cleaning out my office. I lost something I needed to send her and tore apart my office looking for it! I did a lot of much needed sorting,dumping and filing. I finally found what I was looking for in my husbands desk!!
I even remember putting it there so that I could find it later DUH!!!!
I bet none of you have ever done that!
BBL

Just_Lin said...

Mary Yikes! You just reminded me that I was just now washing a load of WATER in the washing machine! Shades of Tina.

Mary/MI said...

Justlin, lol, thanks for making me feel better about my brain malfunction !!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hello Everyone.....nice to see all your smiling faces today.

I just came home from a belated birthday lunch with a friend. It was nice to drive and meet her as we live far from each other. I'm meeting another long distance friend tomorrow. They have even offered to drive here but I'm up to getting out now and meeting them...they are just driving a little closer than usual. It's a nice busy weekend for me and that is good news.

JL. So you are being Tina and washing water. Reminds me that I have laundry to do. Louis has been keeping that up for the last few weeks. I think I remember how to turn on machine. I'm sending a hug back to you too.

Funny blog, Barb. I'm not always crazy about English humor because I can't always understand them.

Tink, let us know how you are doing. I agree with the other owls...don't wait until Monday.

Mary, I wonder if the stores are still packed with all the sales? I guess they will be every weekend now. We retired folks don't need to go on a Saturday and fight those crowds.

Hi Lynn at first!!! You are becoming the morning owl.
Well, that is after jodi at 4;30 in the morning.

Zona, I saw very nice pictures of you with Judy on FB. Hope you had a good afternoon.

Tina~in_ut said...

so....I'm thinking I should get outta bed....haven't stepped one foot outta this bed at all...not once...not even to go to the bathroom...not even to eat...and I'm not hungry~ I guess J/L~ is trying to shame my into doing the laundry...it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that I haven't done it in 2 weeks~ I think I need to git my act together~ ugh~

Tink~ u need to git ur butt to see the doc.....even if u have to go to the ER~ (maybe George Clooney will be there!)~

Mo~ quit smoking...u don't wanna die like Michael did!~ mkay?!~

Parenthesis to everyone else~

Oh...and Sackie....love me some British humor~ thx for the blog...especially since it didn't have any pictures~ :)~

Just_Lin said...

Tina You don't have to get out of bed if you don't want to. Sometimes we just need a day to do nothing and recoup. I would suggest going to the bathroom, though, unless you're wearing a diaper. You must be exhausted from so much overtime. You need to gather your strength so you spend that money, if you're not just sending it off to college, that it.

I hear you about the lung cancer. That is how my mom died and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

sacBarb said...

Today is Small Business Day and I did my part to stimulate the small business economy. One of the Jennifers came over to just hang and she mentioned that she needed a stamp to make her Christmas cards. So we went to the Paper Garden, our local stamp store. Well, we did a 'make and take' and then, before we knew it, we were taking a Christmas gift tag class and yes I bought some more 'stuff.' I swear,I'm gonna have to add a room on to my house to store all my card making and scrapbooking stuff.

sacBarb said...

Lynn, you really made me laugh when you said you liked British humour and spelled it the British way.

Jodi, LOL @ you're a night owl by default. We appreciate the early morning cawfee and donuts. Virtual donuts are the best and don't show up on the scale.

Tinka, I hope you went to the ER or Urgent Care about your eye. That isn't something you want to put off until regular doctor's business hours.

J/L,LOL @ you being a barge, even though it's not true.

Zona, I hope you had a good visit with Judy.

Mary, I have often put something away in a very good place, so good that I can't find it when I want it.

Dianne, You are driving a LOT, Missy. Don't over-do...

Tina, I hope you feel better and have gone to the bathroom by now.

Dianne/Denver said...

Tina, did you go potty? I do hear pull ups are good though if you don't want to get up all day. Glad you are getting some rest. It's sometimes nice to have those kind of days...not so much for me though.

Barb, I'm not doing too much. I'm making sure its short distances and even tonight my friends picked me up for dinner so I wouldn't have to drive.

Today has been interesting trying to do what they taught me at pt to get out of a chair. It's not easy at a restaurant but did pretty good today with what I learned.

Tina, get those kids washing some clothes or maybe all the clothes.

Jodi said...

Total awesome day!!! Worked til noon, then Paul and I took off for LOIS's. Huge surprise when not only LOIS, but TURTLE came out of the bathroom!!!

Jodi said...

Waving to everyone!!! Cheers HOoters!!!

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb That's funny that you went out shopping for your friend's sake and ended up taking a class. Sounds like a fun day.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm glad you got some good pointers to help you get out of restaurant seats. It sounds like you've had a nice Saturday. Isn't it nice to not be so housebound anymore?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Sounds like a fun night in HOville. Bottoms up!

Jodi said...

30!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

JL, I did have a very nice day now I need to do some exercises. I haven't done any all day...too busy eating. Gosh, it's great to not be housebound any more. I'm still resting a lot but just to feel well enough to get out is huge.

Jodi, what a fun surprise to see k-girl at your gathering too. Are you spending the night there or coming home? Sounds like a fun filled evening.

Tina, are you out of bed yet?

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Yes, staying over! Being a trooper. Been up for almost 22 hours!

sacBarb said...

J/L, Yes, Jen only needed ONE thing and she spent more money than I did. We know the owner very well and she had a class starting in about an hour and offered to let us start right away if we wanted to take the class. I'm glad we decided to do it. Jen needed the distraction because she just got back from Miami to spend a week with her sister who has terminal cancer. She is only 47 and they have given her a month. It's very sad.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I did most of my exercises earlier but just finished with the ones on the floor that I hate to do. I'm supposed to do them twice daily but am only doing these once. I really don't like wallowing around on the floor. Plus, it's bad for my hair. LOL

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I hope you are getting some sleep now. Geez, you don't sleep, Tina doesn't pee. You guys are super hooters.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's sister. What a tragedy. Cancer is such a horrible, wicked disease. I know that's a cliche but not when it happens to someone you love.

Just_Lin said...

Swedet dreams, HOoters!

Tina~in_ut said...

What is a Swedet dream? Does it have to do with menopause? Cuz if it does....I'm not going to sleep~ Doesn't sound like fun~ I've been having werk dreams~ Those are bad enuf~

Cancer sucks the giant cock!~ The kind that gags you....the bad kind of gag....not the good kind~

I'm doing laundry....only 3 loads...can't get carried away now~ And I did pee~ twice~

Dianne/Denver said...

Tina, yea for your bladder!! Poor thing probably wondered what was going on.

Barb, very sorry about your friends sister. Terrible and frightening disease.

I'm up too late as I want to wake up for 11am bronco game.
I've been doing some shopping online again. When I do it late like this, I'm always surprised what comes in the mail

Jodi said...

Good morning TINA & DIANNE!! Sipping my cawfee in the sticks!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I don't know about a super HOoters....I see a nap in my future after we get home!!

Jodi said...

P.s. DIANNE....Anything addressed to me* ;)