Wednesday, April 3, 2013

~ The Nun & Golf ~

by Tina~in_ut

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

“What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”

“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can.
 You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”

“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”

“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!”

“Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You must tell me all about it!”

“Well, we were on the fifth tee…and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior – 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green….and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted…and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”

“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”

“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!”

“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized the Mother.

“But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!”

“So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother with a knowing smile.

“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…

“You missed the f***ing putt, didn’t you?”


Mary/MI said...

LOL, I didn't see that coming!!
I thought it was going to be something else.

Bur-r-rr-r-r-r-r cold here in Mich. It has struggled to reach the 30s every day!
I am so excited to get to the PS weather!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi's nice here. Cloudy this morning but nice this afternoon. We're busy here today in Colorado as the President is here speaking. It makes the rush hour people grumpy.

When do you leave? Tomorrow?

Went to lunch, WW and Walmart today. I made sure no one took my picture for a Walmart picture for the Internet. Lol

We just upgraded our ocean view room for our Alaskan cruise to a mini suite with a verandah. Exciting. Got a deal too. On the flip side, our garage door won't open so have the garage guy coming at 6. Boo more money.

Tina~in_ut said...

Mary, I didn't see the ending coming either~ Did u git ur reservation booked for ur military friend?~ You should take some of the weather here.....hailed and rained and lightning and thunder last night...96% humidity today...warm...then cool....but nowhere near cold~ Hubby and I are fighting over whether to have the heater or air on at night~ :)~

Di~ glad you liked the post today~

Mary/MI said...

Tina, yes! Can you believe $500 one way! A few were cheaper, but they would have routed him to Chicago,Minn and Dallas/FW and then to NY!

Dianne I leave Fri at 1:30.

I wish Jim would go on a cruise. He just can't handle all the smoking regulations. I have more fun without him anyhoooot LOL!!
There are so many cruise bargains right now! It's killing me, but I have no one to room with...that can pay their own way LOL!!