Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Things I Owe My Parents

by Dianne

1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ..
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning.."

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 

11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 

12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!" 

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home." 

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My Parents taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favourite:
25. My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


Jodi said...

DIANNE - Truer words have never been spoken. And I'm quite sure Janet is having a good laugh while saying " gotcha back" in heaven!!! ;)

Jodi said...

Another soggy morning here in Wisconsin. A guest just told me that there r 30 roads closed in my county alone due to flooding. I have a feeling our truck might be late today .... OY!!!

Mary/MI said...

Funny stuff Dianne! "Wait til your Father gets home" used to scare the bajesus out of me lol! Not that I was ever bad!

Jodi "guests?" Where are you?

Barb, 44 yrs! Let me do the math.....
yup, you were12 when you started, right?

sacBarb said...

Mary, I said on FB that I was only 3. I was a child prodigy, don't cha know!

My electricity was out for a while tonight so I read the latest book on my Kindle until it got dark then I had to use a flashlight. I wish I bought one with a back light.

Good night Hooters. Have a good Thursday.

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, your beauty is stunning at first today.

Today was my weekly WW and lunch day. I didn't do too great at weigh in either. Had a good lunch though. I about fell asleep driving home. It was 97 here today and too damn hot. I don't know how Zona does it. I guess with a pool helps. I cam home after a l o n g lunch and took an evening nap. I was awake for some reason at 6:30 am today.

Glad you all like the blog. Barb, you need like a miners hat with a light stuck on the top for emergencies.

Mary, isn't it funny the sayings we used to believe from our parents?

Time for sleep. I'm still sleepy. Night

Jodi said...

MARY - Guest is another word for customer at Kwik Trip!!

Jodi said...

BARB - That is why I love my NOOK HD!! I can read, surf the web, and play games in the dark!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Thank you!! Love your suggestion of a miner's cap! lol!! We actually got one of those for our neighbor, because he was forever mowing the lawn after dark ;)

Jodi said...

Jake's game was cancelled because the baseball field was so spongy and the left field has a small lake. But they still had to be there at 5pm for team pictures. So much for bleaching his WHITE pants. The photographer had them kneel down for the group shot...ugh!!!

Jodi said...


sacBarb said...

Good morning Hooters.

Dianne, LOL @ miners hat. I was thinking that when I was using the flashlight.

Jodi, I should have done more research before I bought my Kindle, but I still love it.

I don't have any great plans for today. Maybe I'll do some more purging of closets. Yesterday was trash day and all of the VHS tapes are gone. They filled up the whole trash can before I even emptied any waste baskets or the kitchen trash. Luckily, my neighbor and I use each others for overflow when we need it. He usually has much more than I because his partner has a big family that visit often.

Jodi said...

BARB - The month of July we will be doing some major purging here. We've been in this house 21 years now, and it looks like Sam is getting an apartment at the end of July. Best time to do it, and I'm hoping to move Jake into her room * that is if we can find the floor * ;)

sacBarb said...

Jodi, LOL I remember when my oldest moved out and we were going to move Chad into his room, we had the same problem finding the floor. ;)

sacBarb said...

Oh, and BTW, they never take ALL of their stuff. I still have stuff here that belongs to each of the boys and every time I ask them about it, they say "just hold on to it for me." I have Little League trophies, comic books, sports jackets that probably don't fit anymore, and various other crap!

Jodi said...

Sounds familiar BARB. I still had some wedding gifts in Dads attic when he died.

Jodi said...

Quiet day here in the nest.

I have the weekend off....wheeeee!!!

Jodi said...

Heading down to the beer tent at our little festival tonight. Kinda like a mini class reunion. Hoping the rain stays away!!

Jodi said...

Busy day tomorrow. Two graduation parties, a 1 year old birthday party, and The Madison Scouts' home show!! Whew!!!

sacBarb said...

Hello Hooters.

Not much going on here today. Just checking in.

I hope you are all having a good day.

Jodi said...

BARB - Waving a wing at u <3

Jodi said...

DIANNE - R u still splashing around in that birdbath? Careful....u might get wrinkled ;)

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, about time someone noticed I was MIA in the birdbath. Seems funny that none of you joined me and yes, now I am more wrinkled than usual.

Met a friend for lunch and then came home and took a long nap. Crazy that I sleep late and then need a nap. I need some energy pills. Ahhh the good old days when you could find some decent diet pills full of energy!!!

It's too darn hot here but looks like it is everywhere. I'm glad I don't live in Death Valley. I think there is a reason they named it that....125 degrees. No thanks. I'd never get out of that bird bath

Jodi, sounds like you have a fun day planned for tomorrow. Lots of parties. We are going to dinner at my friends house and my ex son in law and the kids will be there. ....strange but true.

When does JL get home? She's not too good at checking in with us. She's probably so busy touring and having fun. Can't wait until she comes home and tells us all about the trip.

Hmmm, wonder what Mary has been up too? Probably getting into trouble.

Barb, you should tell your kids you are having a garage sale with all their left behind belongings. Wonder if they'd react?

Up late and time for sleep....night all