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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Golfer

by Dianne

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. 
"The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
"Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm.
I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course
when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon
"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life.
My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.
"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved,
I've learned how to sew my own clothes
and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolours."
"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant
was such a great success.
Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just one problem," said the golfer,
"Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache."

29 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Good one! Thanks for the blog today. Are you recovered from the weekend? I was dragging yesterday but that may have had more to do with the Sacramento heat and the drive from there to home.

sacBarb said...

Good one Dianne.

I am slowly recovering from this creeping crud that I brought back from Chicago. I am amazed at how much *snot* one human can manufacture. Good thing I buy my Kleenex in bulk from Costco!

sacBarb said...

J/L, Sac is much cooler today. It is only 80 degrees right now. The weather folks say it will be this way through the weekend.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Glad to read that you are recovering. I was just about to ask you about that via text. 80 is do-able for me. It's actually on the cool side here right now even though it is about 63. Lots of cloud cover and it's breezy.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Ha!! Although, my hubby has me convinced that doing "the deed" helps headaches!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - Still pretty as ever in 1st!!

Jodi said...

BARB - Dang airplane air!! I hope you keep feeling better!

Jodi said...

My first day back at the store was frustrating. Especially since I was only scheduled until 10, and didn't get out of there til after 11.

Jake just got back today from Wagon Train with Grandpa Huston. He had a blast. Instead of riding in the wagon with Grandpa, he was on horseback as an "outrider".

sacBarb said...

J/L, I think I WILL recover, but for the moment, I am still coughing a lot. I don't think it's worse, tho.

Just_Lin said...

HOoters are quiet today. Still recovering from Ho Fest?

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Everyone.

I finally got unpacked and laundry done. I'm so pokey.

My younger granddaughter is in Costa Rica with her school, dad, and girlfriend for ten days. They should have a lot of fun and stories to bring home. I'll be it will be nice and hot in the rain Forrest. Too hot for me.

Not much going on around here. Our plane was two hours delayed coming home for maintenance problems. It also was a very turbulent flight.

We really had a good time. My friend Barb enjoyed meeting everyone. She might peek in on the blog eventually.

Gained four pounds while I was gone this weekend. Ugh!! Must have been those raspberry Margs

Barb, hope you get betters soon I didn't realize you were feeling bad.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I went to Barb's and didn't come home until Tuesday afternoon. I got on the scale yesterday and I was up 4 lbs., too. A lot of it is water retention so that may be true of you, too. I'm down 2 lbs. of it today.

It was nice meeting your friend. I'm glad she was able to come with you.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Not so quiet here, just getting back into the swing of things after being on vacation!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Sounds like your GD will have a fun trip! I refuse to get on the scale....feeling a little "bloaty" myself! Back to salads and lots of fresh fruit!! I was craving cantaloupe yesterday, so I picked up a couple at the store.

Jodi said...

SLIN - P.s. Congrats on the weight loss!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi ..everyone feeling better? Barb a gordon is sick too. She had a fever for two days and now the cold. The other Bard and I are feel fine so far. Think we would be sick by now.

Went to my favorite OG tonight with a friend and caught up after a long time. We had the two for $25 ...good deal and you get dessert

Anyone have plans for the weekend? We are going to Greeley, about an hour away to my uncles for Fathers Day BBQ Sunday. Hope it's not too hot. It was 97 today...much too hot for me.

Jodi said...

Good morning HOoters!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I'm going to Greeley today, too!! But in Iowa! Jake has a tug of war tournament there today. Paul isn't going (it's Father's Day weekend and wants to going fishing), so Tim is going with us!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hey..let's meet in Greeley.

Dianne/Denver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just_Lin said...

Hey, HOoter Hos. I was down another lb. of my Ho Fest weight yesterday but am afraid to get on the scale today. I made tortilla soup last night using chicken broth and you know how salty that is. My rings are tight today so there is def plenty of water retention. Just took my "water pills" a little while ago so we'll see how much that helps. The soup sure was good thought. I went to Curves the last two days. I'm trying to get back in the habit. Today I really need to exercise around the house, i.e., do housework.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Even though my traveling mates both got sick, I managed to escape the Illinois plague, too.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Bloat is my middle name.

sacBarb said...

Happy Saturday.

I hope you are all well. I'm still coughing up stuff, but I'm hangin' in. Hopefully it will all be gone by June 25th, when I leave for Disneyland.

sacBarb said...

Dianne & J/L, I'm glad you didn't get sick even though your traveling companions are. This is no fun!

sacBarb said...

Jodi, good luck to the boy in his tug of war tourni.

Mary/MI said...

Awe, sorry some Hooters are "hanging low" lol! I didn't get sick thank goodness! I don't have time for it!

We have been cleaning out closets and drawers full of "things we may use some day!" Out they go! I'll prolly need them next week lol!!

I will be going to a strawberry farm tomorrow so I can make some jam. We went through all I had too fast this winter. I did give some away as gifts.
I will be making a big pot roast for Father's Day tomorrow then just spazing out I hope :)

Dang, sounds like Zoie's "pee bark" ........

Just_Lin said...

Mary LOL @ next week you'll probably need the stuff you just threw out. Amazing how much we can accumulate, isn't it? I try to throw out some amount of "extra" stuff every week or take good stuff to the Goodwill.

Jodi said...

BARB - Jake did well yesterday. He pulled in 3 different weight classes. A few people came up to us and complimented him on how hard he works. They can't believe he has only been pulling for a couple of months and that he is only 14 years old!