Wednesday, April 22, 2015

23 Adult Truths

by Dianne

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5.  I'm  pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person  died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray?  I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies ... Quit Laughing!

It just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart.  The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music.  After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.  I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.  I  suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece)  . . . and how was your day?

This is what happens when old people start using technology!


Dianne/Denver said...

Hi....where are you all today? I know JL is going on her weekend trip but what about you other hooters?

Nothing much going on. Went in for my cancer melanoma six mo demo appt today. I've been melanoma free for 16 years now!!!

So give health updates ....Jodi, Barb?

Mary, won't be long to you go to Vegas. I think it's on Friday. Did you ever find out if there would be a chance of you coming home through Denvet?

We are thinking about a road trip end of June-July to see Louis's daughter. She lives in Indiana across the river from Louisville so maty be able to meet for lunch or dinner with Beverly.. That. Would be fun.

I took a beautiful ring I have of my mothers with my grandmothers diamonds from her wedding ring in it. The ring is styled in a way that I wouldn't wear, so I getting remade into something I would wear on a daily basis. It's silly to have it all these years and never wear if. I also had some earrings that they can add to the ring. I can't wait!!

I got all signed in and registered for our cruise tonight. We are all set to go....except the dreaded packing.

Jodi, did you get the car fixed?

Hope everyone is doing good.

Dianne/Denver said...

Or rather doing well!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Hilarious! Especially the tooting at Starbucks to the beat of the music!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Finally got a call from Jake's Dr's office. The structure of his knee is fine, and the ACL reconstruction is still intact. They feel that he somehow stretched or injured the nerve. They are referring him back the the Dr that did his EMG. Again, we have to wait for that call and appointment until he can review the MRI.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Yes, I got the car fixed. After Ron fully charged the battery, he discovered that it was fine. He did find out that the starter wire was corroded and fell off, so he replaced it. A relatively easy fix and not too expensive. Still making a funny sound. Ron said he thinks it's the power steering pump. He said it would cost between $200-$300 to fix. I asked Tim if he could do the job, and he thinks he can. The part is less than $75.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - The ring sounds lovely! Can't wait to see pics of it :)

Jodi said...

I best go hoist and rinse. Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

Good news!! Angie's friends on island threw her a bridal shower, but instead of gifts, they all contributed to an airline ticket so she can come home for her Grandma's funeral. What a beautiful gesture!!

sacBarb said...

Thanks for the laughs, Dianne. I actually started this yesterday and I got interrupted and forgot to come back and publish it. Your new/old ring sounds very pretty. You must post a pic when you get it back.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I'm so sorry it is taking so long for the docs to diagnose Jake. In the meantime, he is still having the problem with his foot. It has to be frustrating for both of you. I had a bump on my hand that my primary said was a dermatology issue and the dermatologist said it was a ganglion cyst and I had to go to the hand surgeon and the hand guy said "no, it's a derm issue" so after a back and forth, the derm guy finally cut it out. I was so frustrated, I was about to do it myself! I didn't even go back to have the stitches taken out. I just had my son take them out.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, when do you leave for your cruise? The road trip sounds like fun, but it's gonna be hot.

Jodi said...

BARB - I got a call from the Dr. The one that did his EMG is not available/or not taking new patients, so they referred him to another adult neurologist. That Dr's first available appt is not until June 30th!!! Ugh! Although, they did put us on a cancellation wait list. Jake will not like this news.

Mary/MI said...

Hi everybody! I can relate to #19 "EH? what did you say?"

Dianne, Jim took a road trip to Montana and is now in Vegas. He said "never again!" LOL! He is not fond of flying, but that will be his mode of transportation to Vegas next time! It seems to have taken a toll on him. I am glad I am riding back with him to give him a break!

Jodi, dam the luck on the car repairs and Jake's Dr visits! Being so young, I am sure it is very frustrating!! Give Lois big boob hugs for me! I leave tomorrow night. I made it a late flight so I didn't have to leave Zoie any earlier than necessary... I know, I know lol!!!
We should be back next Wed.

Dianne, I still don't know what his route will be.

SacBarb, What's up with the Dr. merry-go-round? I am glad you got it taken care of. I see your son has many talents lol! Aren't sons awesome? :)

I better check my farm and get packing. I have everything set out, just have to put in suitcase.
BTW, I am still doing 10,000 steps a day!

Mary/MI said...

14, to keep it even!

Jodi said...

MARY - My pleasure! Boob hugs are my fav ;) Have a safe flight and drive home!

sacBarb said...

Mary, Yes. sons are awesome. All my boys will be here for my surgery and Chad has graciously volunteered again to stay for a while after I get out of the hospital so I can be pampered. I asked the doc if I had to go to the "home" and he said as long as someone would be here I could go right home from the hospital. YAYYY!!

Have a good time in LV and win big. Safe travels!

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I hope they get Jake in sooner. June 30 is such a long time away. I hope he isn't in pain.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, Give Kim a big hug and smooch from me, too.

Jodi said...

BARB - Will do!!!

Jodi said...

On my way back home from The Stix and Battery Saver Active light came on. I'm now sitting in Janesville waiting for them to install a new battery. Thankfully they could squeeze me in, because Margaret's funeral is less than 2 hours away.

Dianne/Denver said... troubles. Hate them as we all do. Time for you to get a nice little sports car!! Hope you made it to the funeral in time. Nothing like a little stress, huh?

Worked on cleaning the top of my desk and was successful. Did lots of filing. I'd like to get a wooden file cabinet and chair in there. I have a futon now that the girls used to sleep on but they are too big for it now. It's really a small room so I'll be glad to get that out. I'm a shopping fool!!

Going to the movie again tomorrow with my movie buddy Barb that I brought to the Hofest.

Only about a week and then Louis is off for the summer. He's counting the days. It's his first summer off ever!!!

Barb, how are you doing? You are probably counting the days too nail you are pain free! I. Glad your son is coming to stay. He's a good son. You raised him right !!

JL, hope you are having fun on you weekend trip. You behaving or do we need the bail money out? We ha e to get it from Shirley...I think she was in charge of it.

We went to dinner with my brother to a little home cooing place. I had a turkey dinner. It sure tasted good without it being a holiday. My SIL and I split apiece of pineapple coconut cream pie. It as just the right amount. That pineapple in it was really good.

Well, that's my day. Oh yes, got some new shoes too. That's not too exciting since I have walking issues the shoes are expensive and not very cute...oh well.

Night all ...