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Saturday, July 11, 2015

Can't decide where to retire.......


by Dianne


You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your ass from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
 

OR 

You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
 

OR 

You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .....
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
 

OR 

You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup ..
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or It was different!
 

OR 

You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder".
 

OR 

You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.


OR 

You can retire to the Nebraska where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at.
 

OR 

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

23 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Good morning, HOoters! Well, I sure wish I made $450,000 a year. I guess my brother would have fit right in in Colorado. He finally cut his pony tail off within the last year.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Was there a gift shop at the WOZ museum?

Just_Lin said...

Where is everybody? Is there a party and no one invited me?

Just_Lin said...

There's an echo in here. Where are you?

Mary/MI said...

Hi there JL!! I have been soooo busy! We have had Jim's sons here from Montana. They just left this evening to visit with their Mother (Jim's X). We will meet up with them this week end in Michigan's Upper Peninsula for a Syrjala reunion.
They are all of Finnish decent. A few that no one has met are coming from Finland. They found each other on FB, isn't that cool?
We have also been putting a coat of oil stain on the deck in 90' heat!!
I cooked a big Mex. meal for the guys before they left. I even made homemade tortillas. I will cras soon I am sure lol!!

Dianne, I am glad you had a wonderful time with your hubby on the long trip!
Now get yourself in here!!

I sure hope Barb gets to feeling better soon! Nothing worse than having to take meds that mess with your head!

Later.....

Dianne/Denver said...

My whole comment disappeared so I'll try again
, dang it. Yes JL, there was a great gift shop at the WOZ Museum. It was almost better than the museum. I certainly added to my home collection. Good gift shops in Nashville. We went to the big Willie Nelson one by our hotel. Another good one at the Grand Ole' Opry and Churchhill Downs. Louis even found one at the Air Force museum too. Needless to say, we had a lot of bags to bring home oh and the candy shop too.

Mary, you are quite the woman. Outside painting and then cooking a big dinner. I should have married you....next time around!! Lol.

Barb, I hope you are getting rest tonight as it sounds like Chad has a full day planned for you. Lots of fun too.

I love as a little under the weather Sunday. Cut lunch short and came home and slept all afternoon. My back is bothering me in three spots but I'm thinking it's from all the different beds plus riding in the car. I had a massage scheduled Sunday night evening but canceled. I do feel better today plus a few Tylenol help too. My friend Barb and I went to a place for a tea luncheon on Saturday. I had a coupon that was about to,expire. It was very nice.

My arm is a mess I hooked it on the hook on the back of the bathroom door in a hotel at 6am. It would not stop bleeding and it's quite large. We went to,store and got bandages and neosporin. It also bruised my arm bad and red. I love as going to call dr today but I think it'd healthy now. It looks like I was in a fire and it hurts!


Guess it's time for sleep. Meeting my daughter at 10:30 for breakfast and then have a cancer check up,at 2:45. I have this one and then another next month for two different areas. Night

Just_Lin said...

Mary You are one busy little chica! That is very cool about Jim's newly found relatives coming from Finland to the family reunion. Very cool, indeed. After I get a new front door, I want to get my house painted. Want to come and do that for me? LOL

Just_Lin said...

Dianne LMAO @ you writing that you should have married Mary!!! I could use a Mary around here, too, because the Lord knows I'm not one. It sounds like you took full advantage of all the gift shops on your travels. So when you bring in something new, do you get rid of something else? Sometimes I get in moods where I have to purge. I hope your check ups go well.

Just_Lin said...

I was up before 8 and the dog is still sleeping on my bed. What's wrong with this picture?

Barb I'm glad you're home. I know the meds are messing with your head but if you stop in here, know that you've been missed. Hoping you have a speedy recovery.

HOdi Miss you and hope to see you here again soon.

Mary/MI said...

Well, you know we can now be legally married Dianne! I wonder if we would have to divorce our hubbies first? I am pretty sure I can't marry you AND JL lol!!!

Tomorrow I get my hair did, then a massage before my Chiro apptmt. I need the massage after all that painting!
We will be leaving very early to go North Fri. It is a long road trip. I do love going across the beautiful Mackinaw Bridge. We will be staying at Casino Hotel in Baraga near where Jim was raised.
Later....

Just_Lin said...

Mary I guess 3 women couldn't even get married in Utah.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Cute blog. The one from Minnesota sounds familiar!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I love it when you post videos of Ursula playing with her friends! What a fantastic time for her! Thank you for reaching out. Love you pretty lady!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Your road trip looked fun!! Did you get a chance to go to the old Ryman? I liked it more than the Opry. Such legends that have stood on that stage! Thanks for checking on me. It's been a rough couple of weeks at work. But starting to see the light.

Jodi said...

MARY - Your reunion sounds like fun! FB has enabled me to re-connect with not only extended family, but friends from 25 plus years ago that I thought I would never "see" again. I love it! If you and DIANNE end up getting married, you have to promise to adopt me ;)

Jodi said...

BARB - I have been loving Chad's updates on FB. He has a wicked good sense of humor!! And O M GEEEE!!! His post yesterday scared the crap outta me. I hope you are ok after your fall ♥

Jodi said...

This summer is just flying by. In just a couple of weeks Sharon and I will be heading to Indianapolis for the DCI Finals and then driving James home. He is such a joy to watch perform!! And then before you know it, Paul and I will be going to Hawaii! I still have to book our inter island flights and our rental cars. OY!!!

Jodi said...

This Friday Jake is getting a 2nd EMG done. The neurologist is going to re-test the area where we know the nerve is damaged on his left leg. He is also going to test his other leg and one arm. Jake has never had much of a "reflex", and I've never thought anything of it. Not sure where he is going with this. Trying not to freak out until we need to. The good news is his neurologist has given him the green light to wrestle again!! He is beyond excited!! The only thing he has to figure out is how to condition. He would typically run, but is working on other options like biking and swimming.

Jodi said...

I hope everyone is having a good week!!! Love you all ♥

Jodi said...

20!!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi It's good to see you back in the nest. I hope you get to slow down a bit soon. It's time to recharge your batteries! You are definitely going to be needing that Hawaiian vacation. I'll be sending good thoughts to Jake on Friday. That's great that he can get back to the wrestling that he loves.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Thanks lady! I haven't even been able to sneak away to LOIS's this summer. Hopefully after DCI in Indy, Hawaii and Depot Days in Amboy at the end of August I will be refreshed enough!

Just_Lin said...

New blog.