Thursday, May 26, 2016

Little Harry

by Dianne

The 1st grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students.

The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.  The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.

Principal:  'What  is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9..'
Principal: 'What  is 6  x 6?'
Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
 ' I consider Harry can go to the 3rd grade'.

But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions..'

The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets..’ to the Principal’s great relief…..

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question……

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, 'Put the little bastard in 5th
 Grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself...'


Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog. LOL All my first guesses were wrong.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi It's good that Melissa is showing you some consideration. Yes, John got to come home much to his relief. He wanted to come home as soon as the procedure was done but we all knew that wasn't going to happen.

sacBarb said...

J/L, I was a little worried about the cats when the vet tech called me, but I've talked to them since and the cats are doing OK. They have let them out a couple times when they had no procedures going on. The cages they have the animals in are pretty big, so they have a lot of room. I put some toys in the carrier so they have something familiar to play with. I didn't think I would miss them as much as I do. 😏

I hope your friend is doing well. I'm sure Jane appreciated your company in the hospital. I hop her husband is doing well.

sacBarb said...

I posted this on the old blog.

Hello from sorta sunny San Diego. The sun is out but the temps are in the high 60s and low 70s, which is cold for me.

I had a nice flight down here and Todd picked me up from the airport. We were driving to his place and he told me he was going another way because they were doing construction. So he pulled up in a strange driveway and turned the car off and I said "what's here?" He said " my house." After a couple back-and-forth huh, what, he finally said "we bought a house!" I screamed and smacked him in the arm. He just said he wanted to surprise me. They moved in April and he would have told me, but since I was coming down he thought it would be fun to just surprise me. I am so happy for them. They have been saving and wanting this for a long time. It has three bedrooms, two baths, a nice kitchen and the backyard has a nice big deck. They don't have beds for the other two bedrooms, so I bought them a futon ( their choice) for selfish purposes. Now I don't have to sleep on the sofa. LOL It will be delivered any minute. They leave for the airport at 6:00 and will fly to New York, then they will leave on their cruise on Friday afternoon.

May 26, 2016 at 6:53 PM Delete

sacBarb said...

Mary, congrats on finally getting your room finished. Now you can concentrate on decorating it. It sounds like you are going to have a busy holiday weekend. Have fun.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I didn't get to meet up with Beverly. My flight was changed to 11:25 am and she was leaving at 5:00 pm. I hope you have a great time on your trip.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I hope the new procedure gives you some relief. Shots in the knee are NOT fun so I hope you don't have to go through that again.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Well, that was a fun way to learn about your son's new house. How exciting for them! It sounds like they are having similar weather to mine. Suits me fine. Maybe if it warms up you can do some sunbathing on their deck.

I'm sure you know by now who won DWTS. I still recommend you watch that second to last show when you return home as all of the dances were really top-notch.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi from Kansas ...windy, tornado Kansas. I'm waiting any minute for Dorothy and Toto to blow by. Tornado warnings are fairly close to where we are and it's raining or it was earlier. It scares the heck out of me. We decided not to go out to dinner and Louis just picked up Wendy's and brought it back. Our navigator isn't working right In this new car so we went to Walmart and bought a portable one. We have one at home but never thought we'd need it. We depend on it and I'm not too great using the iPhone maps.

We got started right when we'd hoped to this morning and then stopped for lunch. Tomorrow it's on to Columbia, Mo. I'll be glad to get out of Kansas.

Barb, how fun for your son to surprise you with their new house. It was nice of you to get them a futon too...your new bed. I'll bet they are really excited. Where are they cruising to this week?

Jodi, glad work is being a little kinder to you. They should since you do do much for them. I'll see if Bev can do the live thing. I don't exactly know how to do it either. Louis will be with us so he probably know how to do it. I'm looking forward to seeing her.

JL, how's janes husband doing now? What a scare!! Any plans for the weekend? There are some fun movies out.

Mary, your office looks really nice. Boy, what a lot of work you all had to do. Have fun with all your plans this weekend.

Guess I'd better go to sleep. We are on a different time zone here so morning will come soon although, I did snooze some in the car.
I'll click my red slippers together and home I don't wake up in Oz!

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I was wondering if you had your ruby slippers with you there in Kansas. :)

Jane's husband is home and doing great. I have no plans at all for the weekend. I will be making some baby back ribs on Monday, though, and am looking forward to them as they are so tasty. I am not a huge fan of barbecue sauce so I like to cook them in the oven seasoned generously with garlic salt, salt and pepper, and smoked paprika.

sacBarb said...

J/L, I saw a clip of the very end of DWTS, so I know who won. I will definitely watch both shows when I get home. I am recording the Bachelorette just in case I can't watch it here. I think it starts Monday and I'll get to watch that one for sure, but Todd and Vicki will be home next Sunday, so I'll definitely have to watch the second one that will be recorded at home. I have already heard that there is going to be drama. What a surprise, huh?

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I've seen the tornado warnings on the news and I thought of you. I hope you get out of there before that happens!

Just_Lin said...

Barb Bachelorette already started last Monday after final DWTS. There is already some drama and I already can't understand why she kept one particular bachelor.

sacBarb said...

J/L, crap, I missed the first episode. I have a lot to catch up on when I get home.

Just_Lin said...

Barb As you know. a lot of it is just guys getting out of the limo so if you have to miss an episode this was probably the one to miss.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...we made it to Louisville, Ky tonight. We will be staying for four days here. Tomorrow we are going on a boat for brunch at noon with Louis's daughter. His other daughter gets here tomorrow night.

No more tornados following us since Kansas and I'm glad about it!!

That's about it. What are you all up too?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm glad you arrived safely and didn't get blown away to Oz. Nothing much happening here. It was a beautiful day so I spent some time outside. Yesterday I went to the beach for a while hoping to see the whales that have been around lately. I got there too late in the day, though, and only saw one spouting. They've been breaching relatively close to shore in the last few days but I didn't get sight of anything so dramatic. Enjoy your boat ride.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I'm glad you didn't run into any rough weather. The weather in San Diego is not so sunny. They call it May Gray and will be followed by June Gloom. The sun is hidden behind clouds and the temps are in the 60s. Too cold for me!

Dianne/Denver said...

We did our boat brunch today and that was nice. Did some sightseeing this afternoon. It's really pretty here. Just a tad too hot for me though. Louis's other daughter arrived tonight. We had a good dinner on the water front tonight. Tomorrow we are going to lunch and then gamble about 45 min away on a boat. We did that last year and it was fun. I'm going to check and see if they have that Ellen machine you guys were talking about the other day.

JL, how fun to live close enough go to wander over to the ocean to look for whales. Id like be to be able to that right by my house. Go check it out again tomorrow.

Barb, 60's sound nice to me. What are you doing with your time there?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne You aren't anywhere near where that flooding is going on, right? Did you go gambling?

It was a quiet holiday here for me. I made some baby back ribs in the oven and they were very tasty. I also had a baked potato and corn on the cob. Dinner was probably the most exciting part of my day. I did hear fireworks going off at one point earlier in the evening so I knew the Warriors had won their game. My dog was not happy about that. She hates fireworks.

Just_Lin said...

Barb I think you are having weather similar to mine. It was really lovely here today. To me it is perfect but you would probably prefer it a little warmer. Last night at about dusk I walked the dog and I needed to wear my sweatshirt. How is your back doing? Are you able to walk your son's dog?

Dianne/Denver said...

We are in Kentucky so no flooding here. Hope we will be good in Nashville. It's hot and muggy here but we aren't really out in it much and I keep our room on freezing. Lol. Yes, we went gambling yesterday in a huge boat casino. No Ellen machines. Everyone won abou $100 except me..I lost about $200 as usual. Louis's daughters were thrilled they won.

Today..Tuesday...we are going to Ohio to an Acquarium. Not exactly my choice but they all want to do it. It's about a two hour drive. I'll have to take the chair as I can't walk that long.

Kayla quit her new job. Of course no notice..just quit. Now she wants to be a server and make tips. Tammy is very upset with her. She loved her job a week ago. Tammy tells her she was not raised with those kind of work ethics!!

JL, you dinner sounds very tasty. I think you would freeze sharing a room with me.

How are the rest of you doing....Barb, Mary, Jodi?

Mary/MI said...

Here I am! It was a busy week end here. It has been quite warm for Michigan, 80s.
Sunday was busy with the VFW cemetery rituals. Two cemeteries and a memorial wall. we served lunch for all the participants. I got home just in time to throw some taters on the grill, set the table and prepare the steaks. My sister and her hubby came over for cook out.
I didn't sleep very well knowing I HAD to sleep lol! I had to be up early to load my equipment for the Karaoke contest.The village is about 15 miles from our house. I forgot a whole container with cables and equipment I had to have! I drove like a mad woman to and from my house! I am glad there wasn't much traffic or cops around lol I had technical trouble, named "Jim!". He really needs to stay away from my karaoke computer! He has cataracts and has trouble seeing. He kept losing the "arrow" on the screen and messed up a few things. Oye Vey!
As usual we had a few contestants who were a bit "testy". I have trouble understanding how they can not take the time to write their info down! I missed a few peeps because they thought I "heard" them ask for a certain song they wanted to sing.Duh, I can't memorize and computerize 15 people, their names, ages, song etc. I think the parents are the worst. One said "there will be hell to pay if they can't sing?". We finally let them sing after a bit of wrangling with the judges.
The 3 got on the stage, part way through one gave up and left, a few minutes another one dropped our microphone and left the one gal to sing alone. They obviously didn't know the song very well! Needless to say they didn't win!
It wa a hot, but beautiful day. I came home showered made burgers and went to bed, waaaay before my usual bedtime lol! I feel pretty good today except for my sinuses. All that time outside (10-5:30) did me in!
Jim leaves for the North (U.P.) with a friend and one of his brothers. I will have 3 whole days to stretch out in my bed lol!!

Dianne, I can't believe you two drove through tornado ally!! Glad you arrived in one piece! Have a great time and go back and get your money back lol!!

JusL, I can't believe it is cool there! I have been enjoying the heat, well, my bones have! I too envy your being so close to the ocean. I am surrounded by water , but rarely get to the shores! So much is privately owned, or what is public, has entry fees. Free access is hard to find with a decent parking area.


Dianne/Denver said...

Hi..went to the acquarium today and it was kind of boring to me. The other three seemed to enjoy it. It was nice and cool but nice though. We went to dinner and lunch and that was nice. Tomorrow lunch with Bev.

Mary, you sounded very busy. You will get to relax for three days now. Let your son be on his own for meals so you can really relax and do what you want to do.

It's been a long day so I'm off to bed earlier tonight.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne It sounds like you are having a nice visit. I'm glad you aren't dealing with bad weather where you are. That pic of you and Beverly is so darn cute.

It was lovely here today; about 70 degrees. I had lunch at the local coffee shop and read my book while I ate. I enjoy doing that. Then I went grocery shopping, got gas in the car, and went to the post office to mail in my ballot. After I got home, I talked myself into walking the dog even though it makes my hips ache due to the sciatica. I need to do a little housework and then that will be it for me today. Tomorrow I go to the hairdresser.

Just_Lin said...

Mary You have been so busy over the weekend. I don't know how you do all you do and then come home and host a cook out. You deserve a rest. I think you should keep Jim away from you karaoke computer unless he gets his eyes fixed. Does he have any interest in getting cataract surgery?

Dianne/Denver said... was so nice to see Beverly today. It was the highlight of my day. She's so sweet. Tonight we went to dinner with Louis's daughters co- workers and friends. It was a nice Mexican food dinner and nice to meet her friends. There were quite a few people there.
I did enjoy two raspberry margs for dinner. I don't drink much but these were really good and on special for $3.50.

Tomorrow breakfast with the girls and then off to Nashville. I don't know what we will do tomorrow night since our Elvis show cancelled. Info want to go on a tour of Opryland Hotel. It even has a river in it.

Well, that's all for me. Night

Mary/MI said...

JustL,Jim knows he has to have the surgery. He puts everything off! Drives me crazy! I will push him when he gets back! Your book reading lunch sounds so relaxing!

Dianne, I somehow missed the pic of you and Bev. I will have to go hunting it up!
What, no Elvis? Well, that just isn't right lol! I hope you aren't overdoing it! Keep posting your adventures!


Just_Lin said...